Hilarious Punchlines Novels & Stories

She deadass did save my life but something in the back of my mind kept telling me that was not the reason I was agitated to meet her. "Then tell me what the fuck the reason is, you stupid brain." I yelled into my pillow, muffling the sound to the point where it almost sounded non-existent. I'm not one to play mind games, I just wanted to know the reason. Did you get the pun there? I'm so fucking funny. I know you're shaking your head thinking of what a stupid pun that was. But you know it was fucking lit. Maybe I should go into Comedy instead, I'm too funny for Urban/Realistic/Drama. Imagine my next stop being called Life of Eve: Comedy and Puns. What do you think?

When my joke lands she tilts her head back to laugh, shaking her head as she looks at me. "You're ridiculous." She says. "You're smiling." I respond. She gives me that warm look again and I wonder what's going through her mind at this moment. "You got any other ones?" She asks and I wrack my brain for any other dad jokes. "Um... The circus lion ate the clown but didn't finish." I say. "Why?" She asks. "Because he tasted funny." I respond and Harper chuckles again. "More." She teases, but I just shrug.

"You have no idea–I was just joking around, but those disgusting guys went crazy asking me for your contact." The old me would have already been crying, asking her how she could do this to me, voice breaking. Not this me. My teeth clenched so hard they hurt. My whole body trembled with anger. I snatched the flyer out of her hand and slapped her across the face. Tara screamed, clutching her cheek in disbelief. "You hit me? I treat you like my best friend, and you can't even take a joke anymore?" Best friend? I let out a cold laugh.

Tony punctuated every couple words with squeezes, prods, and playful grabs to his side. Dillon couldn't stop the laughter diarrhea, which was a problem. He needed to escape! Not a drill. Dire emergency! Why the hell were humans even ticklish? It infuriated him endlessly. It was unfair! If he laughed enough, he'd get the hiccups and side stitches, which are both induced medical abnormalities! The bastard didn't just tickle him! That was assault! The worst part was, Tony himself wasn't ticklish in the least.

“The eggs on that rich guy’s Mercedes or the flaming poop.” “The old guy stepping in flaming dog shit was pretty damn funny. It might be a draw. So, what’s next?” “I got big M-80 firecrackers!” “Gosh, and gee-willikers Paul, whatever shall we do with those?” “So many mailboxes, so little time.”

Ready to suck an answer from verbal cues, noticeable or not. As usual, my go-to was sour laughter. As I barked a laugh into the air, I felt some sort of dissolution going on in my chest. The more I retched, the less I felt the lump in my throat. I clapped for emphasis and made him the laughing stock when, in reality, I was the only source of mockery there. How foolish was I to think that Mike Lightwood , of all people, wouldn't catch up to my shenanigan?

On the screen, paused in high definition, was my mother’s face. “Yo, Trailer Park!” he shouted, laughing. “Your mom hosting a party tonight? Or is she passed out on the lawn?” His friends roared with laughter. My grip tightened on the empty pitcher until the plastic creaked. Don’t react. Don’t play games. “Enjoy your drinks,” I said, my voice dead. I turned and walked away, the laughter following me like a swarm of wasps. I pushed through the swinging doors into the kitchen, dumping the pitcher in the sink. I leaned against the stainless steel counter, squeezing my eyes shut. I couldn't do this. I couldn't be the punchline anymore.

How can I enter his mouth with a fly or a mosquito in my mouth? "Huh? I didn't hear anyone yelling... maybe you heard it wrong or maybe... HAHAHA!" he laughed at the end. What's so funny? Am I joking? I was not even informed that I was joking. That's not a joke, that's a stupid question! "Maybe... What? What??" "Maybe you're not cleaning your ears pfft!" "Ha Ha Ha! What do you think of me, you're really like that ewww!! Pfft you want me to lick my ear!" I said laughing at the end.

she replies, still smiling. I take a deep breath and clear my throat. "So, I've been thinking...why did the tomato turn red?" She arches an eyebrow, looking at me curiously. "I don't know. Why?" "Because it noticed the salad dressing!" I exclaim triumphantly, bursting into a wide grin. My joke was met with deadpan silence for what felt like an eternity. Then suddenly, her face lit up and she burst out laughing uncontrollably. "Oh my goodness! That was so corny!"

I laughed, knowing that I had hit a sensitive spot. But then, Sophia suddenly looked up at me, a sly grin spreading across her face. "Actually, my ex-husband was a cheapskate," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "He took me to the most luxurious place he could afford... the McD*nald's drive-thru." I burst out laughing, unable to contain my amusement. Sophia's joke was hilarious, and I was impressed by her quick wit. As I laughed, Sophia smiled, looking pleased with herself. "I'm glad I could make you laugh," she said, her eyes sparkling with amusement.