Holidays Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

He didn't like wasting time on words. So, he picked up the microphone and said to the audience, "Happy New Year everybody! I don't have much to say either. I wish everybody an auspicious year ahead. Also, please focus on the performances! You don't need to pay attention to an old man like me. I'm certain I'm not as interesting as the performances!" Upon hearing those words, everybody roared with laughter. They were surprised that the old man was so humorous! After that, the host smiled respectfully as he asked, "Old Master, what brings you here today?"

“I mean, I couldn’t really before, since I was working all the time, but I also kinda can’t now either with the curfew still in effect and all the reporters still trying to corner me for an interview.” Scott reached across the table to grab Rayan’s hand, rubbing it soothingly. “You know, there’s a very major holiday coming up.” Rayan grinned and decided to play dumb. “What holiday?” “Oh, you know, just the one where the whole world celebrates a certain somebody’s annual trip around the sun.” “Really? Who would that be?” “You probably know him. He’s a hard worker, determined, and unbelievably handsome. In fact, you might just call him the most wonderful man in the world.”

"You stole it fair and square." He laughed. It was a light, easy sound. "Right. The Great Library Heist." He fell into step beside me. He wasn't tall. Maybe five-ten. I didn't have to crane my neck to look at him. I didn't feel small next to him. "So," he said, jamming his hands into his pockets. "Valentine's Day, huh? The corporate mandate to make single people feel like garbage." "Yep," I said, burying my chin in my scarf. "Garbage day."

“Of course. Because why would Zayden ever be predictable? The man hugs like a brick wall and talks like Siri.” I bit back a smile. “That’s not true.” Lucas gasped loudly. “Not true? Rielle. Sweetheart. He once congratulated me with the phrase ‘Noted.’ Who says noted for congratulations?” I couldn’t hold my laugh. Lucas leaned in, whispering like he was revealing state secrets. “Last year, someone told him ‘Merry Christmas,’ and he replied… ‘okay.’ OKAY, Rielle. No Merry. No Christmas. Just okay.”

Roth has heard a lot of jokes like this from him over the years, enough to be entertained instead of being insulted. Do you want me to remind you of how finding a mate works, V? Or should I just give you a mental recording with the right amount of sarcasm? "Well, bah humbug to you too, Roth. I just can't believe this is the 32nd Christmas that we won't be having anyone celebrating the holidays. I was hoping you've already made up your mind by now." When I find her scent, you will be the first to know. Meanwhile, it's bah humbug to you too, Vince. So, are you going to continue working as you usually do, or go home and rest, which I know you dislike at this time of year?

I pry my hand away from Jacobs. "I get, I get" I sigh, getting up from the couch. Letting out a sigh that drew the attention in the room, I said, "This holiday has been one hell of a holiday. I fell on my butt" I added which makes Bailey stifle a laugh "Oh I wish, I was around to see that one" She chuckled.

I can't stop laughing right now. "Grandma! You're really awesome!" Jacob laughed as he gave her a like sign. "Stop fooling me around, Jacob. Fuck that shit now. Fuck him," Lola pointed her finger at me. "Fuck Keatton now, Grandson. This will be my only wish this Christmas since no one is ever here accompanying me to celebrate this wonderful night. Poor old Lola. She will die in drought and lack of sex..." she then acted like she passed out.

someone yelled. "I won’t shut up until someone answers!" Lucas shouted back, clearly enjoying the attention. "We don’t know and we don’t care, so shut the hell up, Lucas!" another voice barked. "Wrong! It’s called Lemon-aid! Get it? Like the drink?" The groan this time was even louder. "Dad jokes are never, ever funny," Elodie muttered, shaking her head.

Ginny asked. "No..." "I really wish I could help,but... just let him figure it out." "Yeah..." "What's the plan for the holidays. Are there activities happening,because there's like a party at every stop in New York right now. I got in the subway, mind you, there was a party there and some weirdos with a banana costume and they kept yelling about slipping awareness... I laughed."Slipping? What's that about?" "I don't know...but something tells me it's not about banana."

“No more fucking chances. No more mercy.” ____ A. Gupta Happy Diwali!!✨️💖🙏🌸 Will do another update tonight, was busy with the festivities.