If You Know Why

If I die, will you miss me? At the last minute of her life, she still craves for him,however,he just replied coldly,you do not deserve it.Why? Loving you is more painful than death.

This book is principally about a girl named Izzy, a young beautiful Christain girl who has left her country of birth in search of education in a foreign land; but along the way meets her true self. The self that’s been hiding behind the curtains of her parent’s discipline. Her new found self surprises no one, even those she’s involved with and by “those”, I mean boys and men! Her parents have no idea of what her life is like without them and apparently, you’d be surprised to find out how easy it is to trick or better still “deceive” strict parents. Her parents still believe their daughter is pursuing “their” dreams with her eyes on the prize. Well her eyes are on the prize, it’s just not the prize they have in mind. Now, don’t get me wrong, she’s still all about the education, but alongside that, is what she finds pleasure in doing- changing partners when the sex is not what it used to be, cheating, being bisexual along many others. She has a turnaround in her life when she finally goes upcountry to work as a member of an NGO that provides for the poor, where she unexpectedly meets a man who changes her life and brings her back to the faith. This time, she wasn’t Izzy that followed her parents to church and not know why she went, but Izzy who understood her faith and why she loved the Lord and it inspired others in every way. People knowing who she was starts to shame her for who she is now, but she’s a goddamn QUEEN in her own way, and for her, that’s the best way and because she believes it, it’s become contagious!

Ilana accepted the heartbreak her husband Gray inflicted in her—embracing the pain and relationship failure. She has experienced heartbreak twice—both from men who shared the same last names, Montemayor. The heartbreak didn’t kill her—it kept her alive, and afraid to love again. However, an uninvited visitor came to her door—trying its luck to be embraced like how it should be. Ilana tried so hard to avoid her growing feelings. However, the certain man who was just another presence in her life became everything to her. She forgot how she was before him. She laughed. She joked. She teased. All after he came. If this is another chance for Ilana to love again, she won’t deny it cold-heartedly. But how can she give this love a chance when the root of her love trauma left something in her that she could never get rid of?

When I report at Brookley College, I'm told that Deborah Larson has already completed the enrolment. She's also moved into the villa my father bought for me. She and my fiancé have already become a renowned loving couple on campus. I feel the calluses on my fingers from years of playing the guitar. This is so creepy. If she's Deborah Larson, then who am I? And is this contemptuous man before me really my fiancé?

Joana Alexa Claudiana, seorang mahasiswi yang sejak lahir sudah dijodohkan oleh orang tuanya pada cowok bernama Stiven mulai lelah dengan nasib bucinnya yang tak kunjung merdeka. Faktanya Joana menyukai Stiven yang kini menjadi calon dokter muda itu sejak puluhan tahun lamanya, namun Stiven tidak pernah menganggapnya ada. Meski lelah dan kesal dengan cintanya yang tak pernah dihargai, Joana tak pernah bisa menangis sama sekali karena trauma masa lalunya yang sampai saat ini masih belum ia sadari. Keaadan membaik saat seorang barista bernama Kelvin datang mewarnai hidupnya, ia lambat laun bisa melupakan Stiven. Berkat Kelvin juga Joana kembali mengingat sebuah trauma terberat dalam hidupnya sehingga ia bisa menangis lagi seperti orang normal lainnya ketika sedang merasa terpuruk. Sejak itu Joana mulai membuka hatinya untuk Kelvin. Namun disaat ia melupakan Stiven, Stiven datang untuk mengungkapkan perasaanya "Sorry, sorry if Im late to love you," ujar Stiven dengan suara halusnya dengan penuh penyesalan. Hanya saja, Kelvin bukan seorang cowok yang menyukai lawan jenis pada umumnya. Yah, menurut informasi dan banyak fakta yang Joana tahu, Kelvin adalah seorang gay. Lantas bagaimana nasib Joana seterusnya yang mulai menyukai Kelvin disaat Stiven mulai peduli dengannya?

Whenever Rachel Cooper loses it, I know I'm about to get divorced again. I close my eyes. "We are divorcing for the ninth time." Marcus Miller massages his temples and says regretfully, "Vivian, Barry died all of a sudden, leaving his wife and her unborn baby behind. I can't ignore them. Relax. Once the baby's born, we'll remarry. We won't separate ever again!" I remain silent. I already heard this promise eight times before. Barry Miller's sudden death is the reason for Rachel's breakdown. It also caused Marcus and me to divorce for the first time. Back then, Rachel was already pregnant, prompting Marcus to divorce me. He will remarry me once he has comforted her. Over the past nine months, we have married and divorced eight times. Everyone mocks me by calling me the Eight-Ring Wonder. I also find it ridiculous. After I accept the divorce certificate, one of the court staff secretly asks me, "When are you getting married again?" I answer calmly, "There's no next time."

After failing to pay back a dangerous politician and business tycoon the money he owes him, a father is forced to sell off his own daughter to him to repay the debt. His young daughter Acania has to suffer the consequences of this unhealthy union to after he is long dead. A mysterious car crash took the lives of all the members of the family.

Love was never safe. Until him. Soren has spent his life outrunning pain—abused by his father, abandoned by his mother, and betrayed by the man he once called home. He doesn’t believe in happy endings. He barely believes in survival. Then Tavian walks in. Steady. Patient. Dangerous in all the right ways. But just as Soren starts to trust again, the past claws its way back—bringing monsters with familiar faces. When he’s taken, locked away, and left for dead, only one man dares to find him. Because Tavian doesn’t just want his heart. He wants to mend every broken piece.

Life was never easy for Jae, but when his brother was kidnapped by loan sharks, he had no choice but to sleep with a dangerous arms dealer for $30,000. One night turned into a contract. A contract turned into obsession “You’re my sex doll. So how dare you disobey me?” For Chan, it’s lust. It’s control. Or maybe something more twisted. For Jae, it’s torture—until the day he realizes he might be falling for the man who broke him. But just as things were getting serious, Jae found out that Chan had four different personalities.

The marriage of Marcus Stephen and Elysia Alice is a sale, for Marcus Stephen to strengthen his position in the Stephen and Stephen family. “Marcus Stephen, you are the one forced in this love… Me too. We go together for good. After a year, everyone went their separate ways, owed no one. ” The sentences and words that Marcus Stephen said were very simple, but he did not know that seemingly simple sentences were arrows that pierced her aching heart. It is often said: "Love is a game where whoever loves more loses..." And she was destined to be a loser from the very beginning. She secretly loved him, secretly loved him for a long time, a love that seemed forever without hope. Marrying him, I thought I was the luckiest person in the world. She thinks that she can have feelings for him, he will move and return her feelings even a little. When she had a baby with him, he thought he would turn to look at her a few times. But… it was forever just her thoughts, the word “thinking” would never come true. She was obstinate in her feelings, also stubbornly carrying the pain of leaving, stubbornly giving birth. People often say "Only when you lose it do you know what is important". When she goes to find her cherished love, that's when she disappears. What will this love story, two people who have experienced tragedy do to each other?