Novel & Cerita Insult Humor

“You weren’t this horrid man whore. You were nice.” “I’m still nice,” he looks hurt. “No you are not!!” I tell him with conviction. “You’ve gone from being the nicest person I know, to being a fatuous cockrot. A total areshole!” “I am not a fatuous … wait… when did you enhance your insult vocabulary?” I know he’s trying to make me laugh. But it isn’t going to work. “Deny it all you want, but don’t change the subject,” I sniff and look out of the window.

"I'm going to bring in your crutches. Be right back." His large hand swoops down one more time to mess up my hair and make it electric. I shout after him. "Neanderthal!" Laughter echoes against the walls. "If my new name is neanderthal, then your nickname should be menace!" "Still better than shorty!" "Shorty is cute!" "It's an insult!" "I like short girls!" "I'm not even THAT short! I'm average!" "Compared to me, your short." I don't have a comeback for that.

he sad, insulting me. "What? What did you say?" He repeated what he told me. "I said, your name is good to hear, but your face is not good to see. It's full of annoyance!" He laughed so loud. He insulted me again, and I felt furious. If I can't control myself, I'll punch him so hard. He's fortune that I'm not a bad person like him, but if I'm a bad person like him, I'm going to publicly humiliate him.

He said in a not so friendly voice. "Insulting is when you make up things to hurt other people," I said. My lips formed a wide grin as the feisty side of me fully came out. "I am stating facts, Lord Damon," I said in an erotic way. At the back of my mind, my mouth is already hanging down from laughing so hard.

He is crazy… Silly. "What a way to insult" sarcasm sprang from me even though I didn't plan it. The curly brunette laughed and crushed out the butt of the cigarette in the ashtray. He got up, resting his elbows on the table and the beige light reflected in his eyes the personality of an angel and a demon in the same body. —I don't like insults, my culture is special. "What culture?" He shrugs. "One who believes me." —And your culture doesn't let you insult even your stupid boss?

I taunted, waggling my eyebrows. His eye twitched. Too easy. "It's a joke," I added before he could react towards her. No need to cause her any problems. "Oh, ha! You almost got me there! Who knew you just had a drier humor? No wonder people avoid you," the guy laughed, nudging his girl, who nervously played along. I smiled. "It's understandable. With your sense of humor, it must be hard to find the punchline." "What do you mean?" he asked, completely missing the insult.

Well that explains his lack of respect towards women. "So you're a whiny-ass piece of shit, a man-child, I presume?" I ask with mocking smile on my face. His smiled was wiped off his face clean off, and he looked at me enraged. "Bitch, what the fuck did you just say?" he growled, and the other two stopped laughing as well. Having caught the tension. They were too busy in their heads they haven't even realized I was throwing them an insult. "I said," I paused, crossing my arms against my chest. Their eyes quickly dropped to my cleavage peeking through my blouse, and I smiled, "You're a whiny-ass piece of shit man-child, at best, couldn't make the right decision without mommy standing by you?"

I scoffed and decided to lowkey insult him. " Hindi ka naman mayabang niyan no? " I asked sarcastically and I heard him bark a laugh because of what I said. He finds it amusing whenever I insult him or throwing off sarcasm. Kaya napangiti na rin ako dahil nakakahawa naman talaga ang kaligayan niya.

“Is that all you got? That was the funniest insult you can come up with?” Eleanor backs off, staring at me with narrowed eyes. I can’t tell if she’s trying to recognize me, or if she’s just too angry and stunned to speak. Either way, I don’t care. “They did say that low IQ people tend to go for stupid, shallow insults,” I say calmly. “You don’t look very smart, both of you. And besides, even with all the money in the world, you just can’t buy style. Look at how both of you are dressed. All logos. No class. Maybe I should give you this dress. It might save you.”

"He wasn't blowing me off, and he wasn't obsessed with her. Call it a momentary distrac-tion or whatever. She's nothing but a slut that doesn't know her place, anyway. Besides, he's over his distrac-tion now." They dissolved into giggles between themselves, but I'd heard enough. They weren't saying the words directly to me, but they might as well have. My emotion-al state and out of whack hormones wouldn't allow me just to sit there and continue to listen to them insult me, so I got up and left.