Insult Humor Novels & Stories

She never misses an opportunity to make me the laughing stock of the group and this was a clear opportunity to do just that. “Waow Hazel, what are you? A silver wrapping paper?” I thought her jab was stupid and weak but as always everyone around did not think that way. They laughed and started throwing jokes of their own until it became a competition of who could humiliate me the most. I know I should move but I couldn't. I just stood there taking their insults. I figured that they would eventually get tires, that they would get bored and go back to what they were doing before I showed up.

“My family owned this before but this is mine now and I manage this. They’re busy with their company” “That’s sick!” “You look really surprised” “I didn’t expect that from you. I thought you were a good-for-nothing jerk” “Hey! You’re insulting me!” “Am I? My bad” I jokingly replied. I know he’s not the type that easily gets insulted. He has deep humor and wits which makes him very versatile when dealing with words spitted out to him. “What about you? You’re alone?” “Uhm… ye---” “Zae!!”

“What's funny? Haven't you realized that you're funny? I don't know what Alpha Stephan saw in you. I mean, everyone knows he's not into your gender. I wonder why it seemed like his sexuality changed over a common whore!” That was the worst form of insult directed at me, and I don't think I understand why I deserve to be insulted that way. “Are you done?” “Done? What do you mean?” “I mean if you are done insulting me then we should get down to business if you understand what I mean.” “Oh, if that's the case, let's get on with it as soon as possible!”

“So! What do you want to know? How to keep a straight face when annoyed? How to look completely unbothered when insulted? Or, my personal favorite—how to insult them back so subtly they don’t realize it until hours later?” Her voice returned to normal, and Adam and I both burst into laughter at the ridiculousness of her growing list. “Just straight face,” I interrupted before she could go on. “He’s still our boss. No need for the insulting part.” Bella huffed like a sulking child. “Fine. But I’ll have you know, that one brings indescribable satisfaction.” “Bella!” I cut in impatiently.

“Look at them. They look like bathroom tiles.” His insult is so on point and so unexpected that I let out a loud laugh. Maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe I’m just shrill after almost kissing him. Or maybe I’m just having fun with him. Whatever it is, the result is the same. A laugh loud enough to be heard even from the stage.

Tina, a junior that I’d known to get around, chimed in. “Shouldn’t you be sucking someone’s dick right now?” I snapped back at her. “Too bad you can’t Photoshop your ugly personality, Lucy.” Alyssa laughed. “Where’d you get that one, some internet meme?” I responded. “Goddess, even my little brothers can come up with more creative insults than that one.” Alyssa glared at me, scrunching her face. I laughed at how ridiculous she looked and said, “Don’t do that or your face will get stuck like that. On second thought, it’s a huge improvement over how you normally look so maybe you should.” I grabbed a hard seltzer out of a bucket of ice and took Jasmine’s arm to take her out of the kitchen.

"That idiot called me a 'low life'. Why would I risk getting beaten over you?" My eyes widened at that, embarrassed. Of course, he wouldn't do that for me. Gosh, I'm so stupid! But he didn't need to rub it in my face like that. "Oh." Hurt and humiliations flowing free, but he wasn't done. "I mean come on, look at you. You're boring as hell, too good to even dare to think of something rather fun. You're plain, and childish. And in case you didn't notice, we've met for like a decade and you have to get me drunk in order to endure you following me around like a brainless puppy." Nate laughed cruelly and the first traitorous tear fell. I just couldn't prevent it. But it was as if he couldn't sto

“How dare you insult me like this, Mr. Adam? Come on, we all know you are never tired of fucking babies. You are an ever-running machine when it comes to sex. Come on. I will manage whatever you have to offer tonight. Just not this insult.” She runsts pure nonsense. I am actually grateful for the miracle that happened today, but I am not interested in this at all. She has some nerve! “You are the one insulting me, and I don’t like you, whore! Get your face out of my sight before I do something stupid!”

Harry ground his teeth angrily. He vigorously typed out, "I don't usually insult people, but you deserve it! You must be an orphan who's never felt the warmth of a family, so I won't hold it against you. But if I see you again… Just wait and see. You'll end up with a criminal record!" The viewers left their thoughts in the chat room. "Huh? Is that supposed to be an insult?" "The kid is being way too gentle with his insults. People like him should experience the evils of society."

He is. "Oh look, the hooker is here." I look over and see Quincy and Geni sliding into the seats next to me. "What's up, twatface?" I respond to Geni's jab. I'm not sure when we started trading insults, but she seems to get a kick out of the different names I can call her so I keep doing it. In a really weird way, it has seemed to bridge the gap between our differences. "Ooh! Twatface," she says. "I like that one. Did you get a list of insults off the internet?"