Insult Humor Novels & Stories

I just wanted to hear him say it. “What does it look like to you?” he replied with a question of his own. “It looks like you own this mall,” I said simply. “Exactly! Never thought you’d be smart enough to figure it out so quickly,” he said, his grin widening. “Is that supposed to be an insult or a compliment?” I shot back. “Take it however it sounds to you. It might sound like a compliment to you, but it’s definitely an insult to me,” he teased. Gosh, I so badly wanted to wipe that smug grin off his face—or better yet, strangle him. This man brought out the crazy side of me. Anything to get him to stop being so arrogant and quiet for once.

“You don’t have to insult me just because you are not giving me the job.” “If you are offended about being called fat,” he said with a grin that needed to be arrested, “then lose some flesh, boy.” That was when the universe decided I hadn’t suffered enough. Some idiot sitting in the corner suddenly piped up, way too excited. “Yeah! We could dress him in a G-string, put some makeup on his face. He’d look like a woman. Might even pass!” The two of them burst into laughter like they had just invented comedy. My brain completely shut down. I wanted to grab the nearest tray and fling it at their faces like a deadly frisbee. I imagined it. Slow motion. Beautiful. Satisfying.

' Anna said excitedly. 'Wow, that's nice, you are beginning to use your brains and act like someone who is matured.' The man said. Anna could not tell if the man had just complimented her or insulted her. The words he told her was sounding like like compliment at the beginning and looked like an insult at the end. It waa what she called a complimented insult but still, this was the first time since she started this whole deal with the man that he had ever said something close to a compliment to her and so she smiled.

"Are you so desperate to get married? Wearing a fake ring? If it's real, I'll be thanking you for finally leaving me alone. You know how annoying you've been? Like a dog that won't go away." His mockery hit hard. His friends burst into laughter. Before, I'd squirm with embarrassment. In a good mood, Colin would smooth things over. In a bad one, he'd insult me even more harshly. This time, I didn't hold back. "If I'm a dog, what are you? Poop or a cheap bone nobody wants?" My sarcasm got under his skin, and the laughter around us died down. Some tried to defuse the tension. "Why is this getting so serious?"

"I am?" In response I just smiled sarcastically and then scoffed. I sat criss-cross applesauce on the road now. And he was towering over me. "Aww, look who's trying to be smart, good girl!" In response, I pouted. Yes, that's what I did. Stupid, right? But what was there to say? "Aww, she's pouting!" My cheeks were flushed now. TMI (Too much insult). "Are you trying to insult me?!" I snapped, angrily, advancing my glare towards him.

He is a man of his words and he doesn't believe in making jokes around because he has way more important things to do rather waste time making jokes or chilling around. " Like I will treat you like my wife. My servant staff is much more classy than you. you even can't reach their standard, so, how can you even think that I will treat you like my wife? Huh? You are so cheap for me and low class which is a taint on my name and reputation " He insults me which successfully banged on my brain and heart. And with that anger again pumped in my veins fading humiliation away from my system because I am proud of myself and my parents for what I am.

he said, his voice laced with a hint of arrogance. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. “Excuse me?” I could let his general hostility slide, but insulting my job? Nah, that wasn't going to fly. There's something about people who think it's okay to insult someone's job that just gets under my skin. I mean, come on! We all hustle, grind, and put in the effort to make a living. Whether you're flipping burgers, being a stripper, or, in my case, tutoring, it's all part of the daily grind.

She wasn't feeling hungry this morning but for some reason, she began craving for snacks to satisfy her sweet tooth. "You went a little too overboard this time. You shouldn't have made fun of him in front of subordinates," He reasoned. His little sister now has no consequence of her actions. "And you laughed like a horse on cocaine back there," She retorted. "Um..ugh..that's because it was funny," He shamelessly explained himself. He shouldn't have laughed like that, he also had a burst of contagious laughter as well by which he is embarrassed to this day. "You are the one who laughed at his face, and that makes you equally involved in the insult."

Immediately I picked up the call, I heard him screaming at the top of his voice and I could barely stop myself from laughing at his gullibility. “Bastard, fucking bastard- that's what you are. Asshole, who the fuck do you think you are? A fool, that's who.” He screamed at the top of his voice and I could hear him banging hard against a surface, but none of what he said had caused me to flinch. “Breathe, princess. What's got your panties in a twist this time around?” I finally let out the laughter I’d been holding while he insulted me angrily.

I pinched his neck, leaving a mark. And I'm not yet satisfied! I stepped on his foot with my expensive high heels. The ugly old man seemed unfazed! Doesn't it hurt? He does not react at all. He's getting on my nerves. But never! I will not give him the satisfaction of being happy. "Your ugly thick-skinned face is so tough and hard, huh!" Sorry for the insult, but I'm not sorry at all. He deserves it. The ugly fool just laughed. "Yes, it's getting hard, so don't provoke me, baby!" His voice is teasing me.