Insult Humor Novels & Stories

"He wasn't blowing me off, and he wasn't obsessed with her. Call it a momentary distrac-tion or whatever. She's nothing but a slut that doesn't know her place, anyway. Besides, he's over his distrac-tion now." They dissolved into giggles between themselves, but I'd heard enough. They weren't saying the words directly to me, but they might as well have. My emotion-al state and out of whack hormones wouldn't allow me just to sit there and continue to listen to them insult me, so I got up and left.

I further taunted him. "YOU! YOU IMP! DID YOU JUST CALL ME FAT!?" His grubby face turned beet-red as he fumed in his wrath, but I was not perturbed by his raging anger at all. In fact, I relished in the fact that I could throw around insults at him without a care of the world. These days, throwing around insults had become a privilege to me all on its own. Lord Vilavelt beside me was staring at the entire conundrum in muted silence. He didn't seem at all disturbed by the bedlam as well. So I took the liberty to throw in some more insults.

I went to another angle why he stayed in the middle of the swimming pool. “Drool, huh?, Your body is not good enough for me to drool so stop feeling yourself” I mouthed and sneered. “You talk like you have a good body, your body isn't nice too, even in a bikini your shape isn't out” He tongue lashed me, a frown plastered on my face, why does he always find pleasure in insulting me. "You suck, I hate you !!” I screamed and swam aggressively. “ How does it feel to be insulted? You've been given the dose of your medicine” He asserted, smiling like someone who won a fight.

Is he mocking my breasts again? “And . . . you’re not my type. Just so you know.” He smirked. He had really pushed the limits with that insult, making it seem like I lacked even a hint of attractiveness. It was time for me to fire back. Stepping slowly towards him, I met his gaze squarely. Then, I glanced down at his groin area where the bulge I had touched earlier was still evident. "Oh, really? I'm not your type?" I retorted with a smirk.

“Sorry, I’m more of a ‘do-unto-others-what-they- do-unto-you’ kind of guy.” I laughed. “No wonder God made you cute. You will not handle criticisms and insults well.” “Cute is a huge understatement, don’t you think?” He winked. “Cute is actually a very generous compliment,” I said, teasing him in return. “I will grow on you. One day, you’ll see.” He smiled, reaching across the table to pinch my nose. “Maybe. So let’s order before I starve to death and not live to see that day, shall we?”

I got a terrible slap on my face that redirected my thinking that I wasn't laughing inwardly but outwardly and mom said," You fool, what's making you laugh, are you trying to make a fuss of me and my daughter or what?" I know am in trouble again and I replied to her saying, "Mom am not laughing at you please, I just thought of something that happened in the past and I couldn't hold back my laughter, am sorry if I offended you" I pleaded, I don't want another beaten mostly now am recovering too. "Stupid child", she said another insult to me and I couldn't help but listen to the conversation she had with my sister, I was shocked when she mentions my boss's name.

“Back there, the men, the things they said. It couldn’t have been easy listening to that bullshit. I wanted to hit them.” “Calm down, feisty. I’m fine.” He chuckles at the prospect of me fighting men twice my size and age. “They didn’t say anything new, after a couple of years, the same insults feel ignorant and lack creativity.The least they could do is switch it up once a while, keep things interesting for people like me.” I let out a heavy sigh. “Hey,” Luke turns to me. “I’m fine, people like that don’t bother me. You shouldn’t let them get you.”

So, he decided to make fun of her, hoping that she’d get annoyed and that it would brighten her day maybe even bring back her usual quirky self. “Well, aren’t you looking like a ray of sunshine today? With those eye bags, you could pass as the company’s model,” Christopher joked, hoping for a warm reaction. Celine heard the words Christopher had just said to her, and they triggered something in her as she remembered the insult Nathaniel had thrown at her yesterday when he referred to her as someone who dressed worse than his mum.

Someone shouted directly at me, voice dripping with mockery, “Hey, Harper! How’s that loose, smelly pussy feeling today? Still wide enough to drive a truck through?” Laughter exploded everywhere—loud, vicious, echoing off the lockers. A group of cheerleaders pointed and cackled, one of them dramatically plugging her nose as if she could smell me from across the hall. Guys high-fived each other, repeating the insults louder and adding their own disgusting twists: “Fish market Harper!” “Loose lips sink ships—and pussies!” “Virgin my ass, she’s probably been gangbanged by the whole senior class!”

She honestly doesn't have time to talk to this person, because she still has something to prepare for tonight. "You knew the consequences of insulting Reign, and yet you still did it. Now I have no choice but to teach you a lesson." Trent uttered with utmost irritation. Celestin could hear his teeth gritting and she could see his eyebrows furrowed. "You know what, Trent? You sound like an ironic asshole right now. You don't want anyone calling Reign stupid, yet you keep on calling her that as well. Or are you saying that the word stupid becomes a compliment when you're the one telling it? Don't be a hypocrite jerk. If you don't want anyone insulting her, then don't do it yourself. " Celestin