Insulting Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

I pinched his neck, leaving a mark. And I'm not yet satisfied! I stepped on his foot with my expensive high heels. The ugly old man seemed unfazed! Doesn't it hurt? He does not react at all. He's getting on my nerves. But never! I will not give him the satisfaction of being happy. "Your ugly thick-skinned face is so tough and hard, huh!" Sorry for the insult, but I'm not sorry at all. He deserves it. The ugly fool just laughed. "Yes, it's getting hard, so don't provoke me, baby!" His voice is teasing me.

From sweet to sexual, how did that even happen? He just chuckled, continuing. "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." "God that's disgusting! Can you just stop with the dumb pickup lines?" "Why you gotta be so rude? Don't you know I'm human too?" "One more word and you'll be a dead human." I seethed, trying to ignore the furious glances of the teacher. "Your cheeks become red when you're very angry." He noted with wonder, pointing at my cheeks.

“What about this? I will try not to sneak into your room at night and suffocate you with your own stinking socks?” I sneered at him, clenching my fists. Leaning his head back, he busted out laughing, and I began to think he was missing some vital component in that empty head of his. Or is his mind just drifting? “Oh, I don’t know. I think that sounds interesting; I'd like you to try that!” My jaw almost hit the floor, and the burn in my cheeks spread like wildfire when I caught up. Quickly, I shut my mouth and glared at him. What the hell is wrong with this guy? Cheesy pick-up lines? Now? He definitely needs new antennas!

Okay, this guy has a lot of balls on him and it’s annoying. “Excuse you? What your boobies lines didn’t work on her?” “Are you jealous?" He leaned close with a smirk - well in my opinion it looked stupid -ly hot. "Don't worry sweetheart that line is specifically for you. Also, they might not work, she’s different from the usual.” The insult just keeps getting worse. Different from the usual? So I was the ‘usual’ and Siobhan was what? Classy? Worth the effort and chase?

a voice said, breaking through the background. Candy Cheeks? What kind of pick up line was that? I turned to face my newest 'suitor'. Sure, he had good hair. He was traditionally attractive, dressed well in a gray suit. He wasn't ugly. The way he smiled though? I instinctively wanted to punch him in the face. I resisted, for the combination of not wanting to be arrested and needing an asshole like him. "Mind if I buy you a drink for your time?" He sat on the stool next to mine.

he says, flashing me a grin that could probably melt steel. He's pick up line is totally cliche, but I feel he knows that, and it seems fun to him. Normally, such attitude would repel me, but this one seems bearable, or maybe I'm just desperate for conversation. So I don't cry myself out in the bathroom. I shake my head, my lips twitching. "That's pretty lame." "Is it? I better work on my lines then." He glances over my shoulder, as if wondering who I was running from. "So? What's got you running like you’re about to set fire to the whole place?"

he smiled, “I have missed you. Surprised to hear me say that right?” Indeed I was surprised, but I’m not letting him know that, “why would I be surprised? It’s the normal pick up line for guys like you.” “Guys like me, you use that a lot and there are no guys like me. Maybe when you stop comparing me to other guys, you will come to know how cool I can be.” “I don’t want to know how cool you can be, in fact, I don’t even want to know you at all.” “But that’s not possible, pigeon, in case you have forgotten, I am your genie and I am meant to be wherever you are. It’s the natural law for genies,” he winked.

The way he said it disgusted me, making me roll my eyes in disappointment, did I look that cheap, and why were men always acting like this? His pick-up line was on level zero, he wasn't even able to impress me. "What do you say?" He still insisted with a naughty smirk on his face, and my answer to him was a simple no. I told him I wasn't interested, neither was I ready to face any questions that he had to ask because I wanted to be with someone else tonight, and not him. "Are you sure, I'm pretty big down there…" he was trying to act enticing, but instead of paying any attention to him, I gulped down the drink the water had given to me, dripping the glass for another round.

I could not help but insult her even the person in subject could not hear me. "Do you know that the skin tone around your forehead and neck are different in shades? Some of your eyeliners are smudge. Your lipstick is too thick. Your makeup doesn't even look good on you. You could only pass as a low-class prostitute. No, even prostitutes have beauty to sell. What yours then?" I suddenly got an idea, the best insulter of the year. I turned to Lucas, "Lucas, do you find her in your liking?" As expected Lucas made a face of disgust. "No way. She is too ugly."

she declared. "Geez, you could've given me a heads-up! You nearly gave me a heart attack," Bob grumbled. "Haha, my bad!" "It’s fine. I’d give you all my blood if you asked for it. Heck, I’d give you my life," Bob added, trying to sound smooth. "Haha, you’re hilarious. Do you actually use those cheesy lines to pick up girls?" Emely asked with a smirk. "Yeah... how did you know?" "No wonder you're still single. Your lines are way too flashy. Take my advice: bury that one and never use it again," Emely said, grinning.