Insulting Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

A lustful smirk appeared at the corners of his lips, as his gaze lingered on my bosom. “Oh stop it! Stop staring at me that way, Mr CEO!” I teased. “What if I don't?” “Then, I won't let you have the dinner I prepared for you.” “How about I have you for dinner instead?” I was silenced by his wits. With mouth agape, my eyes popped like they'll fall out of their sockets, while I covered my widely opened mouth with my palm. Still reeling from the shock of his unexpected raunchy pick-up line, I heard him say,

I shot him a sideways smirk, letting a hint of disdain creep into my voice. His smile faltered, “I just thought you looked like you could use some company.” “Really? Because from where I’m standing, it looks like I’m doing just fine on my own. So why don’t you take your mediocre pick-up lines and save them for someone who’s interested?” I turned back to the bartender, signaling for my drink to be served faster.

“Marissa” “hey Marissa,” he says it in a husky way. Man what is he doing? “Did you fall from heaven, angel?” she giggles. Oh my god, he’s doing those lame pick up lines and she is falling for it! Damn. “You must be made of red phosphorous and i must be a wooden stick cause we’re a match” Okay a chemistry pick up line, ooh that’s good. “Aw!” Ya serious right now. “Hey you think you could ask this person I know to give me her number?” She frowns but nods.

After his last comment I'm already seeing red. She scrunches her nose up in frustration and pushes my cap back so she can see what's going on again. "It's fine babe. These guys were just leaving." She then narrows her eyes on the guys and if I were them, I'd be scared. "Why are you still here? Move along and you should work on finding some less cringy pickup lines. I speak for every female when I say that the ones you have aren't working." The jerks finally take a hint and walk away, muttering something about big muscles and tattoos.

she offered weakly, pressing her palms together in a fake apology. He walked over slowly. She stepped back. He walked closer. She backed into the balcony door. He leaned down, their faces just inches apart. “You know,” he said in a low, calm voice, “I’ve met diplomats. Spies. Corporate sharks. Arms dealers.” She blinked rapidly. “But none of them,” he continued, “have tested my patience the way you do.” “Aw,” she smiled nervously. “I’m honored.” “You’re impossible.” “I prefer spirited.”

I said, stepping away from him. "Wait!" he exclaimed. I stopped walking and glanced back at him. "At least tell me your name?" he asked. "It wouldn't be nice if I don't remember the name of the damsel I just saved." Wow, he must have really thought his pick-up lines would work on me. I wondered how many girls he had charmed with those lines. I must admit, he smiled at everything he said. It was somewhat annoying since nothing was amusing yet strangely alluring, as his smile made him even more attractive.

he says, flashing me a grin that could probably melt steel. He's pick up line is totally cliche, but I feel he knows that, and it seems fun to him. Normally, such attitude would repel me, but this one seems bearable, or maybe I'm just desperate for conversation. So I don't cry myself out in the bathroom. I shake my head, my lips twitching. "That's pretty lame." "Is it? I better work on my lines then." He glances over my shoulder, as if wondering who I was running from. "So? What's got you running like you’re about to set fire to the whole place?"

"What? You think I don't mean it?" "I think pick-up lines are just so lame and overrated." I shrugged with yet another sip. Yes, let me get numb. "That's not true. There are some pretty good." "Not there aren't. They're all cheesy and predictable." "No, hear this one: did it hurt? When you fell from-" "-From heaven?" I finished for him and rolled my eyes. "You just proved my point."

But I just did, you idiot. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Devon." This guy had some of the most rinsed-out, clichéd lines. No one had ever taught him how to woo a woman? He chuckled. "I'm an aging squirrel and you're a tough nut to crack. Let me try again." He cleared his throat. "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm deeply attracted to you, but you think I'm full of...poo?" A smile crawled onto my face as I shook my head. This guy…

I never stopped punching his back and he remained unaffected. "Seriously Pretty girl, that's not going to help you." He said and I could almost sense him smirking. Pretty girl? Is that even an endearment? "You are seriously out of your mind!" I said as I could see us getting into the parking lot. "Can't help it. I am always thinking about you." "Wait, did you just use a pick-up line on me? What are you, Brett Parker?" "Don't ruin the moment for me, pretty girl."