Insulting Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

“ Damn you!” “ Oh come on Isabella, quit wasting my time and let me live through my fantasy, you don't know how many times I've imagined doing this. you don't know how many times I've heard the sound of your shower from the bathroom and imagined walking in there and f****** you so hard that you will forget your name” I had no clue if he thought that line cute, but then it was disgusting and disturbing. whoever must have told him that the lines that he said were something any woman would fall in love with must be out of her mind for even saying that.

The man smiled and looked her from head downwards, his eyes fell on her exposed thighs; well, the twist was that she had moved the split side apart on purpose, that was actually a strategy to get him lusting, which was the core holding her entire plan. His eyes were locked on her visible thighs, her enticing smooth skin caught his attention. “Nice legs, when do they open?” he asked flirtatiously. Elena would have puked in disgust on a normal day. That was one of the worst pick-up lines she had ever heard, but she forced a smile immediately and even blushed to make him feel full of himself. “They open when you want them to,” she replied softly and bit her lips seductively.

Which was practically a lie because I have never really been on the receiving end of a pickup line but I was not going to succumb to his flirty behaviour. "Ouch, that hurt my poor heart, princess," Collin pouted, placing his hand dramatically over his chest. "How about I try my other line?" "How about a cup of coffee," I countered, ignoring his attempt at another pickup line. "I'm in dire need of a steaming coffee." "I saw a café on the way to the hospital. I can take you there, and we can try out my other lines," Collin suggested with a playful grin. **{••}**{••}**

It was just a damn meet at the church for God’s sake. “Face the front,” I bit out when I felt the weight of his gaze on me without even turning. “I can’t,” he replied. “Why?” I frowned. “You look—” he paused, so I turned when the rest of his sentence didn’t come. “I look what?” I pressed. “You look like you belong to me,” He said. My eyes rolled, “That’s a stupid pickup line. And I belong to no one,” A weird sound came from the front, but Storm cleared her throat and kept her cool. Had she chuckled just now, or was I helucinating?

Then, with a sharp sneer, he added, “But let’s not pretend you’re as calm as you look.” “I remember picking up my girlfriend more than once and running into you, Mr. Ford. The way you looked at her? It was far from calm. And tell me this, do you really think she’d leave me so easily? She loved me. All I have to do is see her a few more times, apologize a little, and she’ll take me back.” Nicolas let out a short, humorless laugh. “Don’t worry, Mr. Ford. I’ll treat her well for now. We’ll get married, have kids, and when I’ve finally gotten everything I want, she…” He paused deliberately before finishing, his voice low and taunting.

she stated. "We'd better keep going before I change my mind and take you somewhere else." I grumbled, earning myself a slap on the arm from her. "What a tease!" she retorted. "Oh, baby, this isn't teasing you yet. I'll make sure to inform you and give you the opportunity to experience how I tease and flirt." "Geez, is that your pick-up line, so you can get inside all the ladies' dresses?" she asked. "I don't need a pick-up line, baby. They need me to pick them up, not the other way around." I said before urging her to get inside the car.

*wink*' The text was supposed to a flirty pick-up line or something funny. Unfortunately, my brain had still not changed gears and the only words my eyes highlighted were –I have been told. Told by who? How many girls had he massaged? Oh yes, he's a player, the count would be over the fifties. Again impulsively I typed. 'Oh yeah of course you have been told, I forgot you were a player. I can manage, thank you very much.'

He cut me off and he held a sexy smirk in his face and said, "Because you set my heart on fire." He wiggled his eyebrows. Should I laugh? This is so funny. Still the pick up line worked on me. "You have the worst pick up line ever. No wonder why you are single!" I teased him as he pouted his lips showing a sad expression. I pecked his pouted lip and ruffled his hair. "You're such a child!" I laughed. He laughed along with me not knowing why we were laughing.

The sound of his laughter worked effectively in breaking the stare, "You couldn't be any more original? That one won't work on me!" She didn't know what he really meant and answered with a confused 'huh'. With eyes lowered to his feet and the ghost of a smile still evident on his face, he explained, "It's a very common pick up line you know." "That wasn't a pickup line! I meant genuinely!" Eira defended herself and even though she had been honest, her cheeks burnt for some unfathomable reason. Slightly annoyed, she exhaled a sharp breath and saw a frown form on Nate's face. Was he offended?

‘Huh? Alex – ‘I am working on my pick-up lines. How is this?’ ‘Pathetic.’ I replied honestly. The swift topic change didn’t go unnoticed by me. ‘How about this – Are you Siri? Because you autocomplete me.’ I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at reading it. A billionaire working on pickup lines? Just wave some dollars in front of her and she’ll be all yours. ‘You can do better. Why working on it though? For Diana?’