Insulting Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

“ Damn you!” “ Oh come on Isabella, quit wasting my time and let me live through my fantasy, you don't know how many times I've imagined doing this. you don't know how many times I've heard the sound of your shower from the bathroom and imagined walking in there and f****** you so hard that you will forget your name” I had no clue if he thought that line cute, but then it was disgusting and disturbing. whoever must have told him that the lines that he said were something any woman would fall in love with must be out of her mind for even saying that.

“If you’re talking about the ceremony, it went great. You and your mother are now officially part of the family. No going back, so if you’re having a rethink, expel it from your mind.” He concluded dramatically. “Of course not. Why would I be having a rethink? I have you. You’re better than a rethink.” “Damn! That was some crazy lines. I could use that on a girl, you know?” “Well, without pickup lines, girls would certainly heed over heels for you.” His grin widened. “Yes, I am. You’re cute.” He frowned. “Eh? Me? Cute? I’m not a bunny, only bunnies are cute.”

“Or I’ll have to fire you.” “What?!” I yelped. “You can’t do that! I’ll be doomed!” Panic shot through me instantly. “Fine, fine! I’ll show up!” He laughed, a deep, rich sound that made my stomach flutter. “Don’t worry,” he said, still grinning. “I’ll make sure you don’t end up out on the streets—just in my heart instead.” I know that smooth, ridiculous line was a pick-up line but damn. That laugh of his—warm, effortless, confident. God help me.

“Boring.” It wasn’t surprising that he was mocking them. The contents of these little notes were utterly unoriginal, filled with cheesy pick-up lines. Some asked directly for her contact details, while others were more detailed: “I’m the guy sitting at your seven o’clock. If you turn around, we’ll be friends.” There were even some who gave their phone numbers directly, listing their height, weight, and hobbies, and claiming they had no bad habits, no ex-girlfriends, and were as pure as a blank sheet of paper.

I snatch the fifty dollars from his hand. “I will bet fifty dollars on you not getting your cock between my boobs tonight.” He winks and clinks his glass with mine as he raises a sexy brow. “Thank you. I will take that as a personal challenge.” I shake my head as I sip my drink. “Does that ridiculous pick up line work on many women?” He smiles and winks cheekily. “You would be surprised.” I smirk. There is something extremely honest about this guy. He isn’t pretending to be someone he’s not.

I retorted, walking ahead. "You are so beautiful, you made me forget my pick-up line." Colton flirted, jogging after me. "You are so ugly, you made me look in the other direction." I responded haughtily. "You shouldn't wear make-up, it's messing with perfection." "You should try it, you seem in great need of it." "Don't lie, you know you want to taste these lips." He pointed to his pink lips. "Don't dream, I'd rather taste Nutella in ketchup."

He cut me off and he held a sexy smirk in his face and said, "Because you set my heart on fire." He wiggled his eyebrows. Should I laugh? This is so funny. Still the pick up line worked on me. "You have the worst pick up line ever. No wonder why you are single!" I teased him as he pouted his lips showing a sad expression. I pecked his pouted lip and ruffled his hair. "You're such a child!" I laughed. He laughed along with me not knowing why we were laughing.

“Fuck, are you a lady at all?” “What? You want me to blush?” She asked sarcastically “Of course any lady will be falling at their feet just to hear me say that to them” “Then go to any lay cause I'm not them” She glared pushing my head, “Your hand is even strong” I grumbled “Learn new words, your pick-up lines are retarded” She said savagely “Aish……” I groaned and tried to stand up but she'd pushed my head back, “Learn new lines, these ones are not making me blush anymore”

His pick up lines never fail to make me blush even though we're not new to each other. "Bear me later. Just rush back to the meeting or else I'll feel guilty the entire day" "You better be. Because I'm not feeling like to stop talking to you. Get ready to pay for distracting me," he scoffs. "Bye," I giggle whispering on the call and cutting it. A playful thought hits my head as I roll my eyes evilly. He still doesn't know the worst way to get teased. Christian I get back to the cabin again where the clients have been waiting.

He smiles at me, and I look away. “What’s up?” He stumbles over his words a bit, trying to find the right ones. “I… I was just admiring your beauty.” I take a sip of my whiskey and let out a laugh. “That’s one of the worst pickup lines I’ve ever heard.” He doesn’t seem fazed. “That wasn’t a pickup line. It was a compliment.” I take a deep breath, amused by the situation. “Buddy, I know I’m beautiful and hot. I don’t need anyone to tell me that.”