Insulting Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

“Sounds like a pathetic excuse for a pick-up line to me.” “If I was going to use a chat-up line, I know for a fact that wouldn’t work. It’d have to be something dirtier for you.” I refused to blush. “Don’t fuck around, Ivan. You’re here for a reason. Now I want to know what it is.”

“Ugh, who is this ugly bitch talking to?” “You’re a gremlin. Or maybe just a slut.” “You stutter so much… Maybe your mouth’s only good for sucking dick.” …I’m not so thick-skinned that their insults don’t hurt. They’ve been getting rather creative, and the fact they circle around me, corner me, always makes my back itch. But I’m still motivated. I won’t let them ruin my paradise, especially not for anyone else. “If you…continue. Uhm.” Huff. Breathe. “If you continue…t-this, we…we will have to call someone to remove you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you trying to make me fall for you? Is that what this is?” I burst out laughing and rolled my eyes. “If it’s really not obvious then I’mgoing6 to have to bring back the pick-up lines.” “You like those lines, huh? Do they work for you a lot?” she asked, taking a sip of her wine as the waitress set it on the table. I nodded in answer. “Usually they never fail. You’re really denting my ego here, cupcake. Maybe you should cut me a little slack.” “Hmm, I don’t think so. Where would be the fun in that? You know you love me rejecting you.” She narrowed her eyes at me playfully as she leant back in her chair and studied her menu.

My laughter filled the air of the restaurant. “All right, let’s hear your best pickup line. Impress me with your smooth-talking skills.” I told him as he grinned, his eyes gleaming with determination. “All right, here goes.” He spoke before clearing his voice and looking at me with puppy eyes. “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.” I burst into laughter, my hand covering my mouth to stifle the sound. “Oh God, that was cheesy! But I have to admit, it did bring a smile to my face.” I laughed as Caleb bowed his head in mock defeat.

I use air quotes emphasizing pet names. "Oh did she sweetheart?" his smirk gets bigger. "Do I need to file another complaint or will you stop acting like a child?" "I don't think that is the proper tone when speaking to your boss" Nayel grins showing off his white perfect teeth. "You're unbelievable" I mumble flickers of amusement light up in his eyes at my irritated huff.