Inappropriate Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

she declared. "Geez, you could've given me a heads-up! You nearly gave me a heart attack," Bob grumbled. "Haha, my bad!" "It’s fine. I’d give you all my blood if you asked for it. Heck, I’d give you my life," Bob added, trying to sound smooth. "Haha, you’re hilarious. Do you actually use those cheesy lines to pick up girls?" Emely asked with a smirk. "Yeah... how did you know?" "No wonder you're still single. Your lines are way too flashy. Take my advice: bury that one and never use it again," Emely said, grinning.

The memory was so vivid I could almost smell the candles—he always mixed the scents just right. A real smile tugged at my lips since I lost them for the first time. “And when he screwed up? Forget flowers—he’d come home with a spa gift card. Oh, and his jokes…” I laughed wetly. “God, the terrible pick-up lines.” “Like what?” Luke asked softly as he pulled back onto the road.

I clinked my glass against his and took a long sip, the alcohol burning its way down my throat. “So,” he said, leaning closer. “Whoever he is, he must be a fool to make a woman like you unhappy.” I arched an eyebrow. “Is that your attempt at a pick-up line?” “Did it work?” he asked, grinning. I couldn’t help but smile. “Maybe.”

He casually swirled the red wine within the glass, like a classy, debonair beau with a confident smile on his lips. Unfortunately, even with all of his practiced charisma, the young man was quite… unremarkable in the looks department. He was also quite short. He was barely 170 cm tall, which neutered much of the suaveness he was trying to project. “Oh my God. That’s one of the cheesiest pick-up lines I’ve ever heard. Do you still live in the fifties or something? Get with the times, man,” he scoffed, eyeing Zayn and his casual attire with disdain. No luxury brands at all? What a loser.

I decided to put her out of her misery. “Cody, dude, that is the cheesiest pick up line ever. Who'd you learn that off, Odin?” He turned to face me and blushed. I laughed loudly and shook my head. “Seriously, how many times have you seen him get lucky?” He shrugged. “Exactly. If you want to ever get laid, stop taking dating advice from Odin.”

No wonder the poor guy fails. Quietly, I wonder why my friends—many guys, in fact—think a girl appreciates fancy pickup lines. Or some smolder face. Or ridiculous, practiced moves designed to be charming. I prefer to avoid coming off like a dude with “mad game” and it pays off in spades, even without my trying.

“I don’t usually need pickup lines. And this definitely isn’t usual.” Fair point.

The worst chat up line in history. That was the instant I threw a shoe at him. And found him adorable. He dropped to his knees, hands in the air, and exclaimed, “I’m so sorry! Shit! When I get nervous, I say the most inappropriate...Shit! How am I meant to talk sense when you look like that?” “Like what?” “A beautiful, hopefully very forgiving Goddess! Let me start over? No more shoes?” Stood in the room, my arms folded, another shoe of Cass’s ready to launch at him I’d not succumbed.

“Boring.” It wasn’t surprising that he was mocking them. The contents of these little notes were utterly unoriginal, filled with cheesy pick-up lines. Some asked directly for her contact details, while others were more detailed: “I’m the guy sitting at your seven o’clock. If you turn around, we’ll be friends.” There were even some who gave their phone numbers directly, listing their height, weight, and hobbies, and claiming they had no bad habits, no ex-girlfriends, and were as pure as a blank sheet of paper.

Definitely that had sexual chains but I didn’t want to jump into unhealthy conclusions. “Oh, that”. He said with a slight grin. “Just wanted to use a hot pick up line. I heard that phrase was pretty good and I tried it out”. Zack uttered which made me inwardly roll my eyes. And here I was, thinking about multiple things since he had said that phrase. “So, you thought that ‘I want you’ was actually going to freak me?”, I asked weirdly. “You’ve used your question, my turn”. He voiced out shifting nearer to me but I didn’t give him the reaction he wanted.