Intellectual Jokes Novels & Stories

“Isn’t life more fun with jokes? Something to laugh about once in a while. You know, it makes the world beautiful and fun when it’s dark. Studies even say laughter heals faster than herbs do. Lowers pain, strengthens the heart, clears the head. Makes the blood flow freer. In short — that’s why I’m looking younger and living longer. Which of those old people in the pack is as old as me, uh? None. I’m the oldest.” “The studies were indeed right. But the jokes people were talking about were comedy and funny ones, not the kind where you needed to lie to someone and find their reaction funny. The reason why the other older people died earlier than you was because your laughter came at the expense

I practically had to retrieve his jaw from the floor. ‘Well, naturally. An ex-convent girl would be far too demure to contemplate it.’ There was no missing the sardonic glint in his eye. With a bored expression she said, ‘Can we get the cliched old jokes over with? Just for the record, I’ve heard about a million variations on “Phwoor, convent girls! Always the worst when they’re let out!” ’ Twitch or tic, it was at it again. ‘No such thought ever crossed my brain cells.’

Sure enough, it didn't take long before the Internet exploded. Uncle Leonard scrolled through the comments, his face growing darker by the minute. "The comments are flooding in, and almost all of them are criticizing you." He read out the most-liked comments, "This is what today's youth are like—they don't know how to cherish opportunities! "He's wasting educational resources! He should be stripped of the top-scorer title! "I bet he's trying to be an Internet celebrity. How disgusting! "A person like him doesn't deserve the title of top scorer. Apologize to all the other examinees!

I said, I forgot about my nose for a while and was stunned by his speech. “Oh I see the problem here, my lady didn’t understand what I was saying, which happens often, it is not new, lots of people have this problem, you see the world is filled with stupidity,” I said with an air of authority as though he was delivering a lecture in a hall full of noble prize winners. “Are you calling me stupid?” I asked scratching my head. “Oh no, miss I am merely pointing out that you have a low IQ.” He said. “What!” I said and went to punch him straight across the face, which he easily dodged by taking a step back.

Jasmine said. "Hold on, hold on! I've got a joke that might lighten the caloric guilt. Why don't scientists trust atoms?" Jonathan said with a pause before adding, "Because they make up everything!" "Just when I thought I had heard your corniest joke," Florence said and rolled her eyes. The others burst into laughter, their mirth contagious, which made Clare smile. "Okay, I got another one," the young earl said. "Why did the scarecrow win an award?... Well, because he was outstanding in his field!"

“I… I want to sell the rest of my shares.” For a second, there was nothing. Then, he started laughing. It was a cold, mocking sound that filled the room, sharp and humorless. It was the sound of pure, undiluted contempt. It died as suddenly as it began. He looked at me, and his smile was a cruel, thin line. “If being intelligent was a crime, you’d be a free man.”

" Ian frowned at the question. Ian (8:15 pm) : What kind stupid question are you asking? Irritating Twat (8:16 pm) : Don't know the answer? Ian (8:16 pm): No. Irritating Twat (8:17 pm) : Because it is made out of cells! Haha! Ian gaped at the message for a long time before a small laugh escaped his mouth. The joke was really lame but it was funny.

She deadass did save my life but something in the back of my mind kept telling me that was not the reason I was agitated to meet her. "Then tell me what the fuck the reason is, you stupid brain." I yelled into my pillow, muffling the sound to the point where it almost sounded non-existent. I'm not one to play mind games, I just wanted to know the reason. Did you get the pun there? I'm so fucking funny. I know you're shaking your head thinking of what a stupid pun that was. But you know it was fucking lit. Maybe I should go into Comedy instead, I'm too funny for Urban/Realistic/Drama. Imagine my next stop being called Life of Eve: Comedy and Puns. What do you think?

“Why do you ask?” “Someone won’t keep smiling.” Oops, I had no idea it was a visible smile. I was only beaming in my thoughts. “Nothing happened, I remembered a joke, it's just so funny.” “Mind telling me this joke?” Now my brain was scanning for jokes. It was a hard scanning process because I clearly wasn’t a comedy person. I hardly watch anything that has to do with jokes. “But I have to say something!” I screamed in my head.

Engineer Akinyemi’s eyes gleamed with satisfaction as he watched the pair squirm. “Um… I don’t know, sir,” Charles finally conceded, bracing himself for the scathing remark that was sure to follow. “Tsk, tsk, tsk,” Engineer Akinyemi began, shaking his head theatrically. “So sad. Money can’t buy you intelligence—or common sense,” he drawled, his tone dripping with condescension. A ripple of laughter spread through the class, feeding the lecturer’s satisfaction. “You two should consider a career in comedy,” he continued, smirking. “The only thing humorous about you both is your miserable lives and utter lack of intelligence.”