Jokes That Will Make You Pee Novels & Stories

“Jesse, my man, which is why I’m encouraging you to talk some more! It doesn’t have to be about anything life changing. If you were me I’d say crack a joke but I don’t know if you even know any jokes.” “I know jokes.” His face lit up. “Oh yes? Tell me one then.” “Can you guess what the therapist said when I told my therapist I’m scared of dying alone? “Uh, no what?” “He said, “Most people don’t die with the company,” I said, chuckling. “Get it?” Rain looked at Matt. “Matt, am I supposed to laugh at that?” “Ideally someone is supposed to laugh when they tell a joke,” Matt said with a sigh. “Jesse, what have I told you about your morbid jokes?”

Okay, this shit got to stop, maybe I should try a joke or something? “Hello triple Ds” I say chuckling awkwardly and they just stand there not knowing what to say. “you know, because the names of the three of you starts with a D” I explain my bad joke. “Yah we got it” Dylan says with a fake chuckle, okay, maybe that joke can still be saved. “I’m a double D myself” I say laughing liking my own joke and all their eyes instantly go to my breasts. I choke in my laughter when Derek lets out an angry growl and I sink further inside my hoodie while Dylan starts counting the specks of dust on the floor and Dean find the light fixtures very interesting all of a sudden.

"You sure look better now." "And you look... worse." As far as jokes went, it was a lame joke, one that would not have made anyone event crack a smile normally, but it somehow managed to crack us both up. A second later, Silas and I were laughing like loons, laughing our heads off, clutching the counter to keep from toppling over. Silas stopped to burp and that set us both off again. Silas's unsteady hands poured us both a large glass of whisky.

It didn't help that I was wearing heels either. "Let me tell you a joke," Conner says. We all looked at him as he motioned us to come closer. "Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?" He gives us a moment to think before he bursts out laughing. "Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!" Conner raised his hand in the air with less coordination, demanding that he get a high-five for his terrible dad joke. He got a few nudges and pushed instead. If I were sober, I would have gagged a little, but since I was drunk, I am beyond the point of caring and laughed for the sake of it.

Jeff jokes around and laughs his ass out. “Shut up,” “Shut up!” Both Seid and I yell at his not-so-funny joke.

Not a good combination because I have the sudden urge to pee. But Goof doesn't stop. " Goof, you are going to make me wet myself. And not in the good way." I giggle. Not because it is funny. " Then you better promise not to call our son Goof-Goof." he said. Now the urge is greater. I need to get up. " Fine. Fine. I won't call him Goof-Goof." I yelled. Goof stops " Good." " Now get off me. I seriously have to pee." I said. Goof got up quick and helped me up. Thank the heaven he has a bathroom in here. I didn't want to have to run down the hall. Once I'm of the bed I run to the room five feet from the bed. Just before I shut the door I yell over my shoulder " I will call him Mikey." I slammed

Right before me, they began to lock lips, making me scrunch up my face in disgust. I waited for them to be done and when they were, I spoke up again. "I need to pee." I said, making all of them burst out into a round of hysterical laughter. "Go on. Don't let us stop you." Jordan mocked. "Just let it all out." Steve said, in between laughter. "Or you need to...strip, first?" Their laughter got even louder with every stupid joke they made, and I was slowly loosing it. I was tired of being laughed at and ridiculed by these bunch of assholes.

"You have no idea–I was just joking around, but those disgusting guys went crazy asking me for your contact." The old me would have already been crying, asking her how she could do this to me, voice breaking. Not this me. My teeth clenched so hard they hurt. My whole body trembled with anger. I snatched the flyer out of her hand and slapped her across the face. Tara screamed, clutching her cheek in disbelief. "You hit me? I treat you like my best friend, and you can't even take a joke anymore?" Best friend? I let out a cold laugh.

"What are you doing?" "Moral support." "I can't pee with you staring at me." "Oh, please. You've killed people in front of me. Peeing is where you draw the line?" I glared, but she just grinned wider. "Fine," I muttered. "You asked for it." "Wait, seriously—" "Too late." "Oh my God, I was joking!" "Well, don't make jokes you can't handle." She wheezed, covering her face. "You're annoying."

"But I'm the worst joke teller in this universe." "No, I'm pretty sure I am. Then you go first." "Well, what happens if a wolf falls into the washing machine?" "Uh, I have no idea." "It becomes a wash and a werewolf." He then makes a BA-DUM-CHA sound with his mouth and bursts into a wide smile. He must know he's pulled the worst prank ever known to mankind, or he wouldn't be so proud. Even though it's stupid, I catch myself laughing anyway. Laughing until the tears flow, falling like rainwater washing my face and arms. Crying until it's impossible to stop, impossible to forget what lies ahead.