Jokes That Will Make You Pee Novels & Stories

It didn't help that I was wearing heels either. "Let me tell you a joke," Conner says. We all looked at him as he motioned us to come closer. "Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?" He gives us a moment to think before he bursts out laughing. "Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!" Conner raised his hand in the air with less coordination, demanding that he get a high-five for his terrible dad joke. He got a few nudges and pushed instead. If I were sober, I would have gagged a little, but since I was drunk, I am beyond the point of caring and laughed for the sake of it.

Was someone jerking off right next to me in the library bathroom? I wanted to laugh because my week was turning into one big stupid joke. My face got hot and I felt that same sick twist in my stomach. Why do I keep thinking about how good it felt even when I know it was wrong? I tried to finish peeing as quietly as I could but my hands shook and I almost missed the bowl completely.

I sneered at the red shiny button above my head and my shoulders slumped, knowing how hard it would take to press it and it was clear to me that I couldn't wait any longer. I squeezed my thighs together, stopping the urge to have a pee. “Seriously, you can't be ‘kidney’ me.” I laughed at my stupid joke to take my mind off peeing and it just worked very much. I rose from the bed, my feet touching the ground. It was colder than usual, maybe because I was feverish. I didn't mind it at all, and came down completely from the bed, holding onto the drip hanger and pushing it.

Jeff jokes around and laughs his ass out. “Shut up,” “Shut up!” Both Seid and I yell at his not-so-funny joke.

Not a good combination because I have the sudden urge to pee. But Goof doesn't stop. " Goof, you are going to make me wet myself. And not in the good way." I giggle. Not because it is funny. " Then you better promise not to call our son Goof-Goof." he said. Now the urge is greater. I need to get up. " Fine. Fine. I won't call him Goof-Goof." I yelled. Goof stops " Good." " Now get off me. I seriously have to pee." I said. Goof got up quick and helped me up. Thank the heaven he has a bathroom in here. I didn't want to have to run down the hall. Once I'm of the bed I run to the room five feet from the bed. Just before I shut the door I yell over my shoulder " I will call him Mikey." I slammed

Right before me, they began to lock lips, making me scrunch up my face in disgust. I waited for them to be done and when they were, I spoke up again. "I need to pee." I said, making all of them burst out into a round of hysterical laughter. "Go on. Don't let us stop you." Jordan mocked. "Just let it all out." Steve said, in between laughter. "Or you need to...strip, first?" Their laughter got even louder with every stupid joke they made, and I was slowly loosing it. I was tired of being laughed at and ridiculed by these bunch of assholes.

"You have no idea–I was just joking around, but those disgusting guys went crazy asking me for your contact." The old me would have already been crying, asking her how she could do this to me, voice breaking. Not this me. My teeth clenched so hard they hurt. My whole body trembled with anger. I snatched the flyer out of her hand and slapped her across the face. Tara screamed, clutching her cheek in disbelief. "You hit me? I treat you like my best friend, and you can't even take a joke anymore?" Best friend? I let out a cold laugh.

No way. The two men immediately burst out laughing, not little chuckles, but full-blown, can’t-breathe laughter. Jefferey nearly doubled over while Joseph wasn’t much better. “The pranker got pranked,” Jefferey said, wiping tears from his eyes.

“Now. The laugh. I heard you yesterday, when you thought no one was listening. It’s too high.” He stopped in front of me, tapping his own chest. “Elion’s was deeper. From here.” The gesture was intimate. Unexpected. I flinched. His jaw tightened instantly. “Try again,” he said. “I’ll tell you a joke. It’s a terrible one. Elion hated it.” He told it anyway... something painfully unfunny involving a squirrel and a priest. I forced out a weak chuckle, the sound thin and hollow. “No.” The word cracked like a whip.

"This is going to be really embarrassing when we show up to the emergency room and they tell you I've just been peeing on myself!" "Angel," Dorian says. "If they tell you it's pee, this is going to be a hilarious story."