Jokes That Will Make You Pee Novels & Stories

My friends laughed as JB held his manhood and forced it in the measuring cup. I wasn’t able to bear any of it. The sight of Shinwoo and his frailness, the sight of him crying as my friends laughed and forced him too pee himself. They kept scaring and threatening him just so he could pee in fear and fill the cups. It made my stomach turn, so I ran away without a word.

I burst out laughing so hard I nearly choked on my soda. Jenna looks deeply unimpressed. “Yeah, real fucking funny,” she mutters, side-eyeing both of us. “Keep laughing, you bunch of soggy mofos. I’ll remember this when you two need someone to body a man for you in public and I’m too busy teaching spin hooks to felons named Big Maria.” Dawn snorts into her drink. “You’d thrive in there, don’t lie.” “Shut up,” Jenna says, but she’s already smiling.

“I don’t want one of those!” Percival and I both cracked up, watching our boys react to the world in the most honest way possible. Always curious. Always full of surprises. But then something changed. My laughter suddenly halted. I felt warmth flood into my underwear, and my first thought was great, I probably just peed myself from laughing too hard. Pregnancy problems, right? But the moment was ruined by Zar’s loud, matter-of-fact declaration: “Ewwww, Mommy pee’d herself!” The whole pack burst out laughing, but I froze.

Joe’s eyes bulged, his brows furrowing in pure rage, but his hands moved against his will, rubbing moose excrement into his own face. “You know what Gigi told me?” I said conversationally, turning to Nikolai. “She saw on TikTok that some men don’t wash their asses.” I tutted at Joe. “We can’t have that. Rub your ass in that shit, bro. Get it between the cheeks.” Joe looked like he was about to slaughter us, but he was powerless as he rolled his ass in the dung, grinding into it like he had the world’s itchiest bottom. At this point, Nikolai and I were crying with laughter, struggling to breathe as we doubled over, barely able to steal glances at each other without completely losing it again.

She laughs outrageously as she pulls the plastic, transparent shower curtain out of its holder without conscience. She hummed melodiously as she approaches the corpse in it's pool of blood. “This room stinks of sluttery....” Rachel pinches her nose and squeezes her face in disgust. “ooh...I forgot it's you bitch...hahaha....in your next life,you stay away from MY husband” That remains the most appropriate time to make jokes because only then is the joke funny. She places the shower curtain on the floor and arranges it as if she was making a bed.

Noah and Levi were waving their hand in front of my eyes while talking to me. “Sorry… I…I was eh… thinking in myself. sorry.” I look up and I can feel my cheeks getting red. “That’s okay, don’t worry about it. We were asking if you want anything else to eat?” “No thank you, I’m full. It was delicious. But if I eat more then I will exploded.” Levi and Noah start laughing. This laugh of both of them was different then I heard all my life. Not that they were laughing about me, more that they were laughing about my joke. It felt really good to hear this laugh.

He made me laugh, a genuine, bubbling sound that felt good after the fear. “Your turn,” he challenged, when he finished. “Tell me a joke. Something to keep the darkness at bay.” I thought for a moment. “Okay, okay… What do you call a fake noodle?” He raised an eyebrow, a slight smile playing on his lips. “What?” “An impasta!” I delivered the punchline with a flourish, and he actually laughed, a deep, booming sound that warmed the room. “Alright, alright, that was a good one, for a rookie,” he teased. “My turn. Why did the scarecrow win an award?”

If I had the energy to smack them, I would have done it, but alas, aside from being able to move my lips and fingers slightly, I feel like I’m completely bedridden. “Here, have some water. You must be thirsty as hell after all this time.” Somebody said before I felt a straw by my lips and with all the energy I could muster, I sipped and sipped. I must have been drinking a lot because I heard the sound of people coming in and one suddenly spoke. “Whoa, somebody’s about to create another desert.” I knew only Aspen would come up with such a terrible dad joke so I used up my energy to flip him off from the bed, which made everyone else laugh.

someone yelled. "I won’t shut up until someone answers!" Lucas shouted back, clearly enjoying the attention. "We don’t know and we don’t care, so shut the hell up, Lucas!" another voice barked. "Wrong! It’s called Lemon-aid! Get it? Like the drink?" The groan this time was even louder. "Dad jokes are never, ever funny," Elodie muttered, shaking her head.

“Don’t you mean fangtastic?” “I most assuredly do not.” His face was now stern. I rolled my eyes. “OK, got it. Dick jokes are OK but vampire jokes are not. Touchy much?” His mouth was drawn in a thin line “Funny jokes are acceptable. Others should be met with the derision they deserve.” There was a pregnant pause and all silly jokes and puns rushed out of my head, so I settled for rolling my eyes at him as I jumped off the bar stool instead. “Do you have anyone you need to let know you’ll be away?” he asked