Minion Jokes Novels & Stories

I told him, slowly, so it'd get into his brain quicker. He shrugged, then spoke, "Whatever the weirdo says. Don't you think you should be giving these orders at the Adult Home where you belong?" His minions—Daryl, Josh and Drake—burst out laughing. He looked smug, like he'd just won an award for best comedy. This was why highschool bored me. They were always in a fucking competition—the wrong kind, to be exact. I was only twenty in twelfth grade, but the joke about me belonging in an Adult Home made it look like I was some grandpa. I loathed this place as much as I needed it.

He grins. “One moment they are ‘fuck you youngest child’ and in the next they want us to produce the next population of the country. It’s like ‘make up your mind will ya? Are we important or not?’”, He continues joking, eyes lighting up when he hears me chuckle a second time. “Yeah, literally”, I agree, having to lower my eyes. I feel far too ashamed. I not only chuckled at one of his jokes, but at two of them. And I did so because I actually found them funny.

He came closer and I stepped back. “Chill, I don't bite,” he said extending his hands. “You look like a grasshopper.” I spat and he laughed, looked at his minions and they laughed too. “It is fine, the size of my dick ain't a grasshopper though.” He dirtied the conversation which made me suspicious. His minions laughed again. “Good point, Felix.” The minion with red hair tapped his shoulder, laughing hysterically.

Way too much food. But nobody seemed to care. The apartment filled with laughter. Stories. Jokes. Playful arguments. At one point Lily and Greta somehow ended up debating who knew me better. Minnie naturally joined in. Mostly to expose embarrassing childhood stories. Which I absolutely did not appreciate. "Remember when Carla tried cutting her own hair?" "Minnie." "And cried because she looked like a mushroom?" "MINNIE." The laughter that followed nearly shook the apartment. I buried my face in a pillow.

“Then let’s make a bet, you manage to break their relationship in three months. I pay you handsomely, might I add. And if you’re unable to then baby, we are never breaking up.” She stares at me for a brief moment before falling over in fits of laughter. I dust myself from the floor now, frowning at her. “What’s so funny?” She pauses, looks at me trying to hold back her laugh. “Oh you’re serious?” “Of course I am serious.” “Why’d I indulge in such a silly thing?” I pinch the bridge of my nose, fighting the urge to put her in her place. At first, it was cute, adorable even but now she’s being so freaking infuriating and that’s one thing I fucking hate about minions, their lack of ability to th

"Eww" "Why eww?". "Cause you are foolish". "Hey!". "But you are a fool, aren’t you?". Jae Min sighs as they call each other with names. “I dated girls before you know” he pouted. “Well, I know my dear assistant” Rae grinned. “I even know that you have failed your tenth attempt on a date because they called you nerd”. Jae Min's expression flushed red, he looks down from the detective as if he’s ashamed.

" Oh please stop with your whining, you yourself have a high ranking mate and you're stressed out because of that thing? "Puleeaaseee, He will so dump her ass." "No he would so not." "He would so." "No, he would not." "He would, do not waste your breath." "He doesn't seem like the type to actually need a mate." Goddess I hated Mel's Minions, they were completely useless, their brains must have turned to mush, from obeying all of Mel's orders. "Shut up you two." Mel ground out, irritated by their stupid argument.

It felt good—light, like a breath of fresh air in this park where the wind rustled the leaves around us. We sat on the bench after that, side by side, our shoulders almost touching. He started telling these silly jokes—the kind that weren’t even funny, just dry and ridiculous, like “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.” Corny as hell. But I laughed anyway, hard and genuine, because the real joke was how bad they were, how he delivered them with that straight face like he thought they were gold. It warmed me up inside, chasing away the chill for a bit.