Miserable Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

That got my attention and I looked up at him. I saw my reflection in his chocolate-brown eyes. I blinked at him and he blinked. "What was I about to say?" He mumbled his eyes looking around and I let out a huff of laughter. I immediately pursed my lips to hide my laughter and he frowned. "Laugh." With one word, I threw my head back and laughed hard. Does a motivational speaker forget his quotes? The heck? I had been laughing for some minutes before he paused. "It's okay. You can stop laughing now." He said and I shook my head still laughing like a crazy maniac.

“Jesse, my man, which is why I’m encouraging you to talk some more! It doesn’t have to be about anything life changing. If you were me I’d say crack a joke but I don’t know if you even know any jokes.” “I know jokes.” His face lit up. “Oh yes? Tell me one then.” “Can you guess what the therapist said when I told my therapist I’m scared of dying alone? “Uh, no what?” “He said, “Most people don’t die with the company,” I said, chuckling. “Get it?” Rain looked at Matt. “Matt, am I supposed to laugh at that?” “Ideally someone is supposed to laugh when they tell a joke,” Matt said with a sigh. “Jesse, what have I told you about your morbid jokes?”

"Sorry love but are you gonna let him step on you like a carpet?Take this bullsh-t by the horns and show him he messed up with the wrong cookie..." Lucy would make a good motivational speaker. "That's funny..." She started laughing and I gave her a deadly glare that made her cover her mouth. "Sorry love but are you gonna let him step on you like a carpet?Take this bullsh-t by the horns and show him he messed up with the wrong cookie..."Lucy would make a good motivational speaker.

Heavy with shit we weren’t saying. I cleared my throat. “Alright. That’s enough depressing hospital talk. You know what would really make my day better?” He glanced at me, brows raised. “A really dumb joke.” Andrew blinked. Then tilted his head a little, lips twitching like he was fighting a smile. “A dumb joke?” I nodded, lips curving around the cigarette still hanging from my mouth. “Come on. Hit me.” He gave me a look—half skeptical, half amused. “Fine. What do you call a sad strawberry?”

“If I choose the job, I obviously can’t go back to my mom, though?” It took her few seconds before she sighed. “Yeah, it makes sense. Sorry, I got it from p*******t and thought it was a cool quote.” I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. But failed miserably as she made an eye contact with me. I cracked up to the point she throws the sofa cushion right onto my face. “Shut up.” “It’s a cool quote, though.” “Fuck off.”

“I'm already going mad. Being demon-food is the least of my problems.” “You're not mad, ignorant slime. You're enlightened.” “Well it feels like crap.” “Maybe it's just your piss-poor attitude,” he said sourly. “I'd make myself sick if I were you. Constantly whining, rude to no end, unable to take a joke...” I cried out as my guts began clenched. Cold sweat poured from my brow.

"Stop crying, you idiot, we're going to have to serve the crazy rich Richard Smith world soon." Her words just now managed to make me laugh out loud. However, when I realized the name Natty had mentioned, I was hit by reality again. I was slapped by the fact that my life had been really miserable. The fact that there was a family named Richard Smith who was nicknamed crazy rich, as well as a woman named Sara Smith who chose to live a miserable life with an asshole man for years, made me shed tears again with my chest feeling very tight.

It was obvious he was weary the moment he gulped the shot. “Only sad folks drink that way.” I said, rubbing my palm against my forehead. That was the hypocrisy I exhibited when I myself was sad and drunk. “Nah, I'm way more than that. Just disappointed.” “In who?” He gulped another, “In what?, you should ask.” “I'm all ears.” I wrestled with my woven bracelet. “Disappointed in that thing called love. Love is shit.” He chuckled. A chuckle that one could easily tell he was depressed and in extreme pain. Emotional pain.”Cheers to us that believe love sucks.”

"One thing I've learned from experience, we can't judge other people's lives, let alone compare suffering. If you think your life is the saddest, it means you're weak." "Are you making fun of me?" Ruby took off her coat in one quick move so her hair was a mess. Her pale face had turned red with anger. "No," Amber widened her smile, "I'm making fun of my old self." A second later, she began to survey the entire room. Little by little, the curve of her lips turned sour. "It happened in a room like this," she sighed before laughing bitterly. Ruby's brows furrowed deeper at her strange act.

he murmured, his grip tightening slightly, not forceful but stubborn. “Because I can’t even look at you right now.” My voice cracked. “Don’t you get it? I’m filthy. I’m a horrible person. I ruin lives and destroy families—my own included. And I make jokes to cope with it, because otherwise I’d drown in a pool of my own blood!” My words tumbled out one after the other in a jagged rush, my chest heaving. His reply was quiet, almost a whisper. “Really? Then I guess I’m rotten.”