Momma Jokes Novels & Stories

The moment Mom said this it was like my world came crumbling. “Mom this is a joke right?”

Yes, and the fact that I was married before. “I know, it's just, oh, it shows how old we are getting!” “Babe, forty-eight aren't old. Now look on the bright side; at least we have a few more children to get through school before they get married.” Dad laughed but mom didn't find it funny. She was acting a bit strange these past few weeks. Making me wonder what is going on with her. Mom glared at dad, “You think you are funny? Well, let's see if you like this joke, daddy, to be!”

Momma nudges me with her shoulder and my cheeks burn brighter. “No, I’m having a tropical moment.” I sass back, and she laughs, throwing her head back before she kisses my head and hugs me. “Yeah, right, and I’m the pope.” She says, and I groan at her. “Don’t let your dads or brother, for that matter, find out about your … Tropical moments. You know how they are.” I glare at her and she winks at me, smiling. “Hey Mav, how are you and little Melody finding it here?” Oh just great, did I tell you my momma is the biggest wind up merchant there is out there? No, well yeah, she is.

Yep, my son is taller than I am. Suddenly, Luca pushed Damien from me. "My mummy". He glared at his brother hugging my neck. "Hey, she's my momma too". " No my mummy". "My momma" "Mine" "Nope buddy, she mine". "That's enough Dame, stop upsetting my baby". Luca pouted his lips. "Damien, clean Emma and Luca please and Lisa so wash up too. I'll clean the kitchen while you guys are at it.

she went on. “We are both tired, as well, Mom. See? We aren’t your biological sons.” Josh couldn’t resist joking, earning him an eye roll from his mother. “Do you get as tired as women, though? They both wore eight-inched high heels the entire day. “Besides, what’s the point of telling me that? What, do you want them to give you a massage in return? In your dreams, maybe,” their mother said with a snort at her own joke.

, I said, my lips almost tearing apart for smiling too hard. " You're welcome dear", mom said. " Mom?" " What is it?" she rolled her eyes, chewing what was in her mouth. " You're not dad". " Says who? I and your father are one", she said, mimicking the voice of the monkey priest in The Lion King movie. We burst out in laughter. The sound of laughter made the aroma of the pancake more pleasing.

From: Mom [Thu, 9:39 pm] That's okay, you can laugh as much as you want even though you're sad for having a broken heart. I gasped. Mom can turn tables, doesn't she? To: Mom [Thu, 9:41 pm] I am your daughter, mom! I can't believe you can do me dirty! I answered, pasting crying emojis. From: Mom [Thu, 9:42 pm] I'm just joking, haha! I hope you're doing fine, we love and miss you so much!

Mom requested. ****

I explained in a small voice. "Miscounted?" Mom spat, interrupting me. "You're the only one who didn't get anything. She was probably annoyed that you were trying to get one. Why must you be so greedy? You're so embarrassing! Will you only be satisfied when everyone ridicules me for raising such a greedy daughter?" A wave of stress crashed into me. I dug my nails into my arms and scratched myself until my skin turned raw and bloody. However, I didn't feel even an ounce of comfort.

I can’t be too careful. God, I wish she was right less often. It’d make moving away and resenting her phone calls way easier. “Will do,” I say. “How are things back home?” She spits out a few rapid-fire anecdotes. Mom has the craziest ability to strip the humor out of even the funniest stories. I make it through one about a woman that apparently used to coach my soccer team throwing eggs at her husband during a town meeting without cracking a smile. “And you, Benjamin?” she asks.