momma jokes

I've been married to Elliot Graves, the mafia drug lord in NYC, for the past eight years. But today—on our wedding anniversary—I received a photo of him with my best friend, Lila, celebrating as if they were the ones married. And in her arms was my son, Owen. I stared at the image, then typed out two words in reply. “How perfect.” Half a hour later, Elliot stormed through the front door. His voice thundered through the hallway. “Why do you always have to be so bitchy to Lila?” Owen, my own little boy, shoved at my leg and glared. “Bad Momma,” he said. “I wish Miss Lila was my real mommy.” I didn’t flinch. I simply walked over to the drawer, pulled out the crisp stack of papers I’d long prepared, and dropped them on the table with a quiet finality. “Alright,” I said, my voice calm. “It’s all my fault. Now, can I go?”

It’s all fun and games until a body washes up…. Beth Monroe just wants to make it through the summer baseball season without being the constant target of her brother Shane’s jokes, but he is relentless, and she’s ready to lock herself in her room and hide. Until the new girl shows up. Halley appears in small town Barryville like a ghost. No one knows where she came from or anything about her past, not even her last name. When she gives Beth a piece of unsolicited advice that, “It’s what’s on the outside that counts,” Beth changes everything about herself. By the time Beth realizes she’s becoming a monster, it might be too late, and Halley has already sunk her claws into Beth’s best friend Ryan—who might’ve been something more if Beth had opened her eyes a little earlier. As Halley’s past catches up to her, Beth realizes there’s more to this mysterious girl than she realized. Can she stop Halley from revealing her true, monstrous nature to Ryan before it’s too late?

She is a free spirit, trapped in a bird cage of death, danger and despair. Little Alessa has always known one thing above all- she was born to be the perfect Principessa of the Cosa Nostra, the Italian Mafia. She was urged to smile when asked to, laugh even when the jokes were anything but funny, charming to all who were allies. She was perfection incarnate...well, that's what they think. They know nothing of her wild abandon, of her plans to be anything but the perfect princess, royalty of a world dredged so deep in blood, she choked on it. Her plans to run were absolute...well, until HE came along. The mysterious Pakan-a Don like her father- shielded by the shadows that he ruled from. He was the anomaly that she least expected. He destroyed her plans and she hated him for it. So why then does her heart beat so fast when he is near? Why is he the one she thinks about before she sleeps? Why does she so long to see him when she's sad? She wanted the freedom, the life beyond the shadows and explore the world. But Emerald colored eyes, cocky smirks, rough hands, cigarettes and darkness were starting to look a little more appealing...

Claire, the chosen one by the moon goddess was born to Omega parents and unable to shift at sixteen, she experienced loneliness and exclusion. Alpha Jacob had mated with her and heartlessly dumped her the next morning because she was a human. Upset Claire flees, concealing a three-year-old child. Four years later, destiny reunites them, sparking a story of love, deceit, and a band that could possibly make a comeback. ************************* Mike noticed her with his sharp eyes and enthusiastically yelled, "Momma!" before running towards me. His face lit up with a bright smile as I eagerly embraced him, his happiness infectious and briefly lightening the burden of the difficult situation. While embracing Mike closely, I made eye contact with Alpha Jacob. At that moment, I noticed a spark of recognition in his gaze. He had only just discovered that Mike was his child. Claire who is disguise to be Bella resolve to protect Mike and maintain her new identity, as Bella is tested by Jacob's relentless pursuit and the undeniable connection between him and Mike. The story concludes with an air of uncertainty, as Bella must decide whether to confront her past and potentially reconcile with Jacob, or to continue safeguarding her son and moving forward without him.

" L-let me go! Please!" I screamed my lungs out. " Your mumma just loves to provoke me, darling.How could she call me a rapist? Now, it would be a disrespect if I don't prove her right." he smirks, taking threatening steps towards me. Every inch of me trembles in fear. Picking myself up , I try to run but the crowd doesnt give me a way out. " Please." I scream trying to run but they all just pushed me back towards the monster. Move." I yell slapping a lady. She stumbles back but more men pull me and throw me back towards him. " No escape , huh." he laughs as his hands travel to the zip of my dress. " No , please. Someone help me." I scream. " Don't struggle Sagel. Your little brother is watching us , I'm just trying to prove his momma right." he chuckles dumping me on the ground. " Leave me." I scream as he gets on top of me opening the buttons of his pants. --- A mute lost princess, who has spent years in a cage. A brutal monster, who has lost his believe in love. Both of them tied in a peculiar mate bond. Where will this take them? { Extremely Dark. Strictly 18+ }

Run! Run! Run! Carmella run!!!! A huntress been chased by demons...... Not just demons, soul eaters and other vile creatures She is destined to be the next demonress But.... Something keeps calling her..... It whispers Calling out to her Carmella...........your blood!!!!!! Between this demonic possession, she finds companion in an angel..... But something..... Something feels wrong!!!!! Something walks to the door.....then knocks...... "Carmella....... "Open my sunshine!!!! momma is here for ur blood!!!!!

When three people meet each other by chance a romance knocks them on their ass. ~Casey~ A 21 year old virgin working in one of the hottest night clubs in town. She may seem innocent but deep down she is a psycho who enjoys torturing people. She's never been touched by a man and she's killed the ones that have tried. She loves her only remaining family, her older sister Carrie. She has trust issues and a foul mouth. Can she find someone to match her crazy? ~Lincoln~ A 20 yr old street racer with a rough past. He is a bisexual, submissive with some masochistic tendencies. He's gorgeous and catches a lot of attention from both sexes. His cheating ex doesn't won't leave him alone almost borderline harassment. He jokes to hide the pain he bares every day. See how his life changes when he bumps into a little waitress. How will he react to a sexy, possessive man trying to gain his affections and encourage a little woman's psychotic tendencies? ~Malachi "Psycho" Sokolov~ He's a 23 yr old torture expert. He's well known in the underground and with the mafia families for using his pack of dogs during his interrogations. To the public he's a businessman, owning several nightclubs, a couple restaurants and some miscellaneous businesses. He is also bisexual and has had only a few lovers that can handle his bedroom habits. No one has really caught his attention until he sees a young man arguing with one of his staff and a new waitress that's as sweet as can be with little bit of fire and crazy. Find out if their love blooms or burns.

We all know how it ends, the story of the sexy cheerleader and the captain of the football team. But this is different. Every cheerleader always dates every guy on the football team it is a "high school achievement". You know how it feels to walk down the hall and have all eyes on you, most of them envy you, some wish they were you, some wants your man and the few just would stop at nothing to drag you down. Well that's a "high school challenge" one way or the other student see school as a battle field in other to meet up with the high status, keeping up appearances, expressing themselves and getting high. Keeping up good grades is only secondary. PROM, PROM, PROM, that's what's on every girls mind and it will be embarrassing when your girls ask "who are you going with" and you say "with no one", "that's a high school walk of shame". High school is like a bed you lay. You can choose how you want to lay it, what matters is you lie on it eventually. By The story of the sexy cheerleader and the captain of the football team are just like the fairy tale story of Cinderella and her prince charming but the question is, does every story end up like that? Still, standing at the far end of the hallway was a simple introvert, trying to cook up the courage to say one word to her. He could see her laugh at her friends jokes, but can she SEE him?

[How do you avoid the darkly handsome Beta that wants to... eat you?] Camilla: I was sent to Alpha Jackal’s mansion to pay off my foster parent’s debt. It wasn’t something I feared until I learned that Rin, the pack's Beta, is a powerful demon. Now I'm stuck under the same roof as Rin, and there is no chance of avoiding him. I wish I could. Why? Because a demon murdered my parents in cold blood. I fear Rin. Demons are monstrous, which is why it must be one of life's cruel jokes to have inserted Rin into my life. Rin: I should stay away from the new housekeeper, but how could I possibly keep away from the seductive she-wolf? She is gorgeous, and my Alpha would punish me if he knew badly I wanted her to sit on my face, squirming and moaning my name. He can never know the truth, especially not since he seems interested in her too.

George Hemsworth and Shrey Khatri were a happily married couple blessed with five years old twins Luke and Kendall, One blissful afternoon, they decided to go for a car ride when suddenly George's car abruptly halted its progress, slinging Luke, who was comfortably sitting on his momma's lap, and Shrey against the center console with bone-jarring force, hit her head she lost her consciousness but was able to save his son. On the other hand, Kendall, who was sitting back seat, was struck by the driver's seat, which jolted her forward and backward When George and Shrey gained consciousness, they anxiously searched for their daughter everywhere but couldn't find out. Due to her daughter's loss, Shrey gets mentally disturbed and loses her memory As a result of amnesia, she considers herself as eighteen-years-old, Louis lambert's girlfriend who used to work in George's one of the companies but was kicked out for doing some fraudulent scheme in the company, to find out how George is going to make his former secretary and beloved wife remember him and will they be able to find their daughter and protect her from the kidnaper and perpetrator of the accident for these; let's dig into George Hemsworth's romantic and ecstatic world, who is "bound of remembrance" of his wife.