Random Thoughts Funny Novels & Stories

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.

I ѕhооk mу hеаd іn a vain аttеmрt to ѕnар myself оut of thinking anymore inappropriate thоughtѕ. Yеаh, like thаt was really gоіng tо hеlр. “Hmm yeah, I dоn’t wаnt to gо tо school wіth a trout роut.” There wеrе еnоugh of thоѕе аlrеаdу. Wе bоth lаughеd together, thоugh mіnе wаѕ ѕlіghtlу mоrе awkward.

"I'm Kernan..... erm.. I mean Keenan. my name is Keenan. " "I'm Nivea but you can call me Ni for short." she said as she blushed. She's so perfect. All the way from her flowing curly brown hair all the way down her curvy body. I wonder if she's a smart as she looks. We ended up talking for hours on end and kept buying her drinks that she slowly sipped on. I found out her favorite things: Favorite pass time: watching movies on N*****x. Favorite food: Spaghetti and meatballs

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'Why tease me when you're not even going to give me the meat pie? I laughed again. 'We can always buy a new one.' 'Too late. I lost interest.' She took her drink and started drinking from the straw. I watched how her lips tightened around the straw. Don't you wish your lips was the straw right now? Oh shut it. I burst into laughter at my own thoughts and Jade looked up. 'What's so funny?' I shrugged. 'My thoughts. Funny how crazy my thoughts are these days.' 'Care to tell me about them?'

When had I become so boring? My eyes landed on the mirror across the room, and I walked up to it, dragging my fingers through my damp hair. "When was the last time you actually did something for yourself, Yuki?" I whispered to my reflection. Silence. I sighed, letting my head drop back. Then, out of nowhere, a thought struck me. A completely random, impulsive thought. I needed to go out. Tonight. Something about the idea jolted me, like plugging in a dead phone and watching it flicker back to life.

“Neither can I. I mean, a cat, a platinum card, and a mysterious disappearing man? This feels like something out of a soap opera.” I laughed a little, but it wasn’t from amusement. It was the kind of laugh you give when nothing makes sense and your brain’s trying to hold it together with duct tape.

she said, glaring at Luke and Wynona. "You mean you want me to Take 5?" Ruthie continued to crack up. "If this is a dream, please wake me up." Zander's voice floated through my mind. "I might have to jump out a window if I hear another bad joke." My lips twitched as I looked up at him, trying not to grin. "Between them and the doctor, it sure feels like some weird kind of group therapy!" Zander groaned.

I just widened my eyes to the point where it seemed as if my eyes might pop out of my sockets to express my dread while he conferred me a knowing look. "You....You tend to hold your farts in, don't you?" I couldn't help give him the stinky-eye. "What!!" He frowned as if he couldn't even begin to comprehend my state of mind. "You have to. Because that's the only explanation for all of your sh*tty ideas. Since your farts can't find an outlet, they must travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where sh*tty ideas generally come from."

What the hell can I do to get him fired? I guess it's my first time and I can't think of anything when it comes to removing the bodyguard. I used to have a lot of ideas and thought it was silly, but now it's gone. Hey, I don't know what's going on in my brain right now! Maybe I just lack sleep or food? "Hey what a funny guy!" I hit him on the shoulder to make him stop laughing. "Pfft, why are you crouching so close to my thigh." He laughed at this promise.