Sardonic Humor Novels & Stories

He said but it came out sounding more like a question. “What?” He took a glance at the dumbfounded look on her face. “You know… just boiling the hell out of it.” He told her. “That was a good one.” She was quite impressed by his humor. “What does it look like I’m doing?” He asked. His voice was suddenly laced with sarcasm as he jerked his chin at the packet of instant noodles. Oh, that wasn’t humor. Lilith realized. She bit her lower lip in embarrassment. His shoulders shook with silent laughter. He loved messing with her.

“Indeed. You’re the most talented rock skipper here.” He chuckles and nudges me. “You know, sarcasm is considered the lowest form of wit.” “Point out someone who believes that, and I’ll show you someone who proves that common sense isn’t as common as they think. Anyone who says that phrase is someone it takes minutes or even days to realize they have been insulted through what they consider wit that’s beneath them. They are the true geniuses among us.” “Hmm…you may have a point,” he says. After a few minutes, he glares at me. “Rude.”

Well, I fucking opened myself up to that one. “As a solution to a problem I in part caused,” I say emotionlessly. “I’m going to assume by the vague answer, you don’t wish to discuss it.” “You’re very astute for a human,” I commend her. Her face slips into an emotionless mask, “Yes, we mere mortals are quite astute. We’ve also mastered fire and invented the wheel,” she says sarcastically. “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit you know.” “At least one of us has some,” she says, taking another sip of her drink.

"Are you so desperate to get married? Wearing a fake ring? If it's real, I'll be thanking you for finally leaving me alone. You know how annoying you've been? Like a dog that won't go away." His mockery hit hard. His friends burst into laughter. Before, I'd squirm with embarrassment. In a good mood, Colin would smooth things over. In a bad one, he'd insult me even more harshly. This time, I didn't hold back. "If I'm a dog, what are you? Poop or a cheap bone nobody wants?" My sarcasm got under his skin, and the laughter around us died down. Some tried to defuse the tension. "Why is this getting so serious?"

I snickered, he scoffed at my words. "I can taste the sarcasm in your words. " "I am glad you still know sarcasm. " I couldn't help but retort and he laughed. Alaric actually laughed. Not the dark, terrifying ones that creeped me out. It was soft, melodic and soothing to the ears. "With that tongue of anyone can bully at work. " I was stunned. Was he worried I would get bullied at work? I batted my lashes at this man I couldn't figure out. He was the perfect meaning of warm and cool.

"It's not like that," "Really?" He bit back sarcastically, sounding a lot harsher than he had meant to. "So you doubling over with laughter was me telling you a joke," "No, I was just surprised-" "-Yes and the most natural reaction to surprise is hysterical laughter." He scoffed, putting the gun away and beginning to walk away.

"You thought I was laughing because it was funny?" Was he an idiot? Yes. Yes, he was and still is. "I told you, I was giggling because it was cute." I told him, "It wasn't because I was making fun of you guys!" His frown turned into a confused look, "Really?" I nodded, "Positive." "Are you sure?" "Oh no, no. I'm not sure since I'm me." I said sarcastically. "Oh... then I apologize again." He said sheepishly, "Will you forgive me?"

He frowned, utterly deadpan, and it broke me unexpectedly. It pulled a genuine hearty giggle out of me, and I realized our weird conversation has completely lightened my mood with how utterly ridiculous it is. I never thought this would be a topic I would ever have with him or that he could be this funny, and I’m not sure if he meant to be. He has my sense of humor, dry and sarcastic with a solemn tone. I think I’m liking him even more. Definitely, there’s a side to him I may have previously overlooked.

Heck I made sure of it so what was this story I was hearing? “Are you certain of this?” I asked unable to accept it just yet. Sedar laughed sarcastically. “Of course I'm not. Three of my men died just a few minutes away but yeah, I still suspect it's some cock and bull story.” I shuddered. His voice was choleric and I could literally feel the sarcasm, no I could touch it.

Alongside the curiosity, there was a flicker of sarcasm in Reagan's voice as he asked. "Did she catch another fever? Or, did she trip and fall down the stairs?" he asked, his gaze locked onto Liora's hospital room. " What's with your sarcasm, Reagan? Why do you have such a strong opinion about her?" This time, Soren turned to look at Reagan as he asked, annoyance framing his features. " Because from an outsider's perspective, I can see things clearly for what they are. " Reagan deadpanned. " And what can you see? "Soren asked, almost mindlessly, his hands deep into his pockets, his eyes still on the door, as if he was guarding it for an unforeseen danger.