Super Funny Sayings Novels & Stories

I start saying at a snail's pace but I get cut off by him. “Shut the fuck up." He orders in a low but demanding voice. “Yes, Daddy." I reply automatically. Shit! Fuck! Holy shit! Fucking hell! Oh my fucking goodness! I did not just fucking say that. Time stops, I run out of air, and the universe laughs at me for blindly falling into its embarrassing trap.

His arms tighten looking for my acceptance of his apology. "I understand. You're a man in demand. This is the part where you have to save the Internet by pressing buttons on your laptop, right?" Finn relaxes his grip a little at my joke. "Kind of, but I type fast. Some might even say I'm a speeding bullet." Even I catch his Superman reference and groan at the horribleness of it, but it's nice to hear one of his nerdy jokes again. Maybe nothing is wrong after all.

Sarcasm evident in my words *Just hurry up* *Fine* I replied and as I was about to keep my phone back into its rightful place I bumped into someone and my hot cocoa slipped from my hand unto the floor "We have to stop meeting like this cupcake" Only one human being in the world called me that. "Sorry about your hot cocoa though. At least it didn't spill all over your shirt" he said with an amused look on his charming face. Maybe if I ignore him he'll go away

He in turn groaned in reluctance, and a moment's stillness later, he spoke like he was spilling gold out of his pie-hole, "I am the one who you like to call the Jerk Mummy King." Do you ever just forget to hide your expressions for a minute and then you're like 'I did not mean to make that face out loud'? Yes. That face. I was making exactly that face right about now. The Oh-sh*t-I'm-screwed face. Think! Think Lithe think! You are the sassy, smartassy most awesome little lollipop triple dipped in brilliance. Making an excuse is a piece of cake. Anything will do. Just speak up. You know you have got this. You can do this!

About fifteen minutes into the drive, I asked, “Why so slow?” “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you feel the need, the need for… going faster?” I laughed so loudly I almost snorted and had to put both of my hands over my nose since even a baby like me recognizes the famous movie quote he almost said. “You’re a funny guy in an unassuming way.” He turned a slight shade of pink. “Yeah, well, in our line of work you have to find some way to be a little bit of a comedian, or you’ll end up in the loony bin.”

I say honestly as I look at the trees passing by "you gone be cool ma, just be yo self and you good" I smile at his advice "just don't laugh you don't want to scare him away with yo hyena laugh" I push his shoulder "shut up you cant be serious for one second" "I can be serious ma but I'm just trying help you cuz if he say some funny and you start cackling he might get scared" I stared at him "what, I mean I'm used to it but he not".

But then again so was everyone else. “He’s the dude broiest bro ever in the history of dude bros dude.” I yelled back at her. Ahhh… yep. Totally drunk. Sara shook her head seriously. As if anything I just said made sense. “Dude you’re so right.” She said. Sloan chimed in then. “Dudes a weird word!” She shouted. We all agreed and started laughing. “Duuuaaddee” Abbey said. “Dude .. dude .. doodie dude.” Sara tried.

"Quickly, get to the point before I go to sleep!" "Huh?! Okay, okay, I’ll try to shorten it! You don’t know the art of speaking!" "If everyone learns the art of speaking like you did, it’s guaranteed to be boring and send people to sleep in a blink!" "Dare to make fun of older people, huh?" "Yes. Why? It looks like someone said yesterday that they know how to return the favor, right?"

This is painful. “Gabe” - she says as soon as she sees me. A small smile appears on her face and I look at her. “How are you feeling?” - I ask her. Stupid question I know. “Like I have meningitis” - she says offering me another smile. “How can you be cracking up jokes while you are laying there” - I say “Because I am that awesome” - she says with a wink. I can’t help but chuckle at their stupid jokes.

He said, spitting everything out in some bad laughter. Shit. What did this guy do? What was he even saying? So this was the reason? Absolutely silly.