Twilight Quotes Funny Novels & Stories

“Padilla quoted me something like if I could dream at all. It wouldn’t be about you. I was stupid, and my mind went blank, but I tried to impress her. I said, Lao Tzu? She laughed at me like she really laughed at me, tears filling the corner of her eyes. That’s why I liked pissing her off.” I joined Kye in laughing. “Who said it?” “Edward fucking Cullen.” “Who’s that?” “A guy from Twilight.” “Twilight Zone?” Kye asked. “No. The Twilight Saga. I watched the entire series in one night. It was dumb and cringy but entertaining somehow. I mean, she died, came back to life so beautiful, and became a vampire.” “Okay.” I raised my hand. “We got it. So, you did that to Padilla?”

The cold I had felt earlier was long gone and I was more wide awake than before. In no time, half of the alcohol in the bottle was gone. I wasn't drunk yet but I sure as hell was already starting to feel lightheaded. "Hey, stars," I said, eyes still fixed on the little stars that I could see as I dragged in a long sip from my bottle. "How does it feel, huh? Being stuck in the sky?" I took a gentler sip this time, trying to keep my eyes on one star. "You know I'm just like you. You know that, right? Well, if you don't, now you do. Not technically though. I mean, I don't float in the sky like you do. But we are equal, you know? You don't have a brain and I don't sparkle. Only vampires do that

“I know уоu’rе nоt hungrу, Iz, but уоu have tо eat. I’m thіnkіng wе can hаvе a Twilight marathon. Nothing lіkе реrvіng over ѕеxу vаmрѕ and wеrеwоlvеѕ to mаkе уоu fоrgеt аbоut nаѕtу mаn-whоrеѕ.” A hint of a ѕmіlе played оn mу lірѕ. Hе knеw mу Twіlіght weakness. I wеlсоmеd any distraction at thе mоmеnt. “Yeah, okay,” I said ѕіghіng, аnуthіng to mаkе hіm hарру. “Rіght, I’ll gо оrdеr the ріzzа.” He smiled, аnd I fоrсеd a fаkе one bасk. It slipped thе moment he lеft the rо оm.

Twilight POV You'd think that I'd be angry or something close to that, but I just laughed as if I'd just heard the best joke of all time. It was the kind of laugh that made your stomach hurt and had you wheezing. The kind where you'd even start crying. I should probably stop because he's looking at me as if I've finally lost it and belong in a mental institution. And my stomach was starting to hurt too. “Don’t mind me. I was just laughing at the bittersweetness of the situation. Believe me, you'd be laughing too if you were in my shoes.”

Theron's POV The day of the event was finally here. This is the day I officially put Twilight on the map. Another success to celebrate. Many of my past lovers have been calling nonstop to accompany me to the event but I turned them all down. I don't want any drama tonight so I decided to just go alone.

Valen listens, but his hand stays lightly on my thigh, fingers brushing idle circles that make my cheeks warm. Lira leans back, laughter bright in her eyes as she trades barbed jokes with Thalen. “You always drink too fast,” she teases him, tipping her goblet toward him. “Someday you’ll drink yourself into a tree and forget how to fly.” He winks back. “I’d rather drink myself into a good night with a pretty woman than remember how to fly.” The table echoed with laughter. Rhaenan smirks and raises his glass. “To good nights, then. And to our Lady of the Twilight Court"

“Why are you still on your phone when you’re dating me?” I put down my phone. The variety of food served was tasty. But somehow, I felt that something was missing. My phone rang. It was a call from an unknown number. I hung up. But the number called again. After four or five repeated calls, I could not take it anymore and answered it. “Hi, may I speak to Ms. Twilight?” They actually knew me by name. “Speaking. May I know who this is?” The person on the other end of the line grew excited. “Ms. Twilight, I’d like to ask for your help with a case.”

I wondered why. “Of course they only come out at night,” replied a guy on the other side of the room. “Sunlight burns ’em up.” “No, it doesn’t,” a girl countered. “But sunlight makes their skin sparkle, which gives them away.” I had to work hard to stifle a laugh at that last comment. The girl was clearly a Twilight fan. Sparkling vampires are not something I’ve ever seen or heard of in the real world.

Caroline and Jade follow us, their presence like an added layer of protection, but it’s still overwhelming. I glance up at Caleb, attempting a weak smile. “You know,” I say, trying to inject some humor into the moment, “I feel like Bella from Twilight when Edward brought her to school.” Caleb looks down at me, and for a second, he’s quiet. Then, he bursts out laughing, the sound bright and contagious. “Really? Of all the comparisons, you pick that one?” he teases, his grin wide. “What? It fits,” I say, unable to help the small laugh that escapes me. “I mean, everyone’s staring like I’ve grown a second head.”

I guess the whole story about werewolves and vampires not liking each other is, in fact, real. "Hey princess!" The twins suddenly popped up beside my bed while I was deep in thought. Wolves These two are wolves. "Eek!" I screamed and threw a pillow at them. It hit them both on the head. Ren and Dan playfully feinted death. "You guys are not really helping." Nate grumbled as he fixed his coat. He glared at the twins who only stuck their tongue out at him and made funny faces. As if a switch was flipped, Nate's eyebrow began to twitch in annoyance. When the twins didn't stop, Nate rolled his sleeves up and dived at the twins.