Twisted Funny Dark Quotes Novels & Stories

I asked, "So, Miss. How is it going with the Dark humour guy? Any update so far?" "HA! Dark humour! He's the funniest guy, I've ever met. Didn't you hear that line of him? I mean he called himself motherfucker; oh my, that's the kind of humour I love. Every time he cracks a joke, it makes me head over heels for him. And not forget his awkwardness around girls" the sarcasm was dripping from her mouth. But that changed my mood. And we both started chuckling, "He's not that bad!" I exclaimed. Right? He's not that bad.

The fact that he was trying to justify his dirty deed made me scrunch my face in disgust. "You got me fired on purpose for your selfish needs and just when I was desperate for a job, you tried to lure me with this fake job advertisement to become your partner and help you out. This was all a fucking plan. Fuck!" I let out a dry laugh, as the realisation sunk in and ran my hands through my hair in frustration and anger, "I must say, well played. God, you know what? You are the most selfish and arrogant person I have ever met. Stay the fuck out of my life," I shouted and walked outside, slamming the door shut behind me and rushed towards the nearest washroom to throw up.

"It happened in that warehouse apartment. He’d drugged me at the bar when I tried to seduce him. I smirked. "Sounds about right for a guy called Viper." "You don’t get it, Maria," she snapped, but there was no heat behind it — just frustration that I couldn’t see it the way she felt it. "He’s funny. But not ‘tell a joke’ funny. Dark funny. The kind of fun that makes you laugh when you’re scared. He says the filthiest crap. Stuff that should make you want to slap him, but then you want to fuck him instead."

The whole thing was just a sick, twisted joke. "Hahaha... omg y'all are so so funny."

“No questions. No pressure. I promise.” “And if I do like it?” she said. He smiled faintly. “Then we had fun.” Imani searched his face for even a hint of doubt. There wasn’t any. That should’ve comforted her. Instead, something deep inside her whispered a warning she couldn’t quite translate. She picked up her coffee again, now lukewarm, and took a slow sip while thinking. This wasn’t just about curiosity. This was a door. And doors didn’t just open. They led somewhere.

I stop fighting the vines and let them spread my legs. Already lost to it, Javier has two vines on him. One is buried deep in his ass, the other wrapped around his cock, stroking as he curses in Spanish and English. "Más duro, cabrón... yes, like that. Scott, you seeing this? I've got plant dick in my ass, and I've never been happier.” Breathless laughter bursts from me as my own vine finally pushes inside. The fluid it pumps is warm and tingling, making every nerve sing.

He looked at me and grinned. “Are you always this dumb?” he said with a mocking tone. “Who wouldn’t be happy after getting someone arrested for scamming their family? Although… no. I’m not happy. But she deserves it. For what she did.” He leaned forward slightly, eyes narrowing. “And you… you should be with her right now.” I blinked. “So why am I still here?” His smirk deepened. “Watch your tongue,” he warned. “You wouldn’t want me to make you cry again. You had so much guts a few minutes ago, I almost thought something was off with you. Maybe not right in the head? Because you cried all the way here like a child.”

A ghost of a smile curved the corner of his mouth, the blood still sliding lazily down the side of his face. Elara swallowed, throat dry as ash. Her eyes were keenly focused on the blood “Over my dead body” The words came out smaller than she intended, but they were there. His gaze flicked to her mouth for half a heartbeat, then back to her eyes. Something flickered in his dark, hooded eyes for the first time. Interest, maybe. Or amusement. Or both. “Admirable,” he said softly. “You might as well end up dead before tonight.” Her back stiffened with his words and she couldn't tell if he meant it or not, with how calm he was being.

The dark humor was so perfectly Jaxx that I couldn't help but laugh. I burst out laughing, the sound bright against the lingering tension in the room. The absurdity of his grim humor never failed to catch me off guard, to remind me that beneath the violence and the control, there was a man who made me laugh in the darkest moments. Jaxx just shrugged, completely unbothered by his own dark wit, though a small smile played at his lips, softening the hard lines of his face.

Only then did I notice the hands gripping at my feet. “You will never be forgiven!” “You will never be forgiven!” I tried to call out for help yet no matter how I screamed at the top of my lungs, no sound came out of my mouth. I waved my hands, searching and finding anything I could hold onto to stop myself from being dragged deeper into the darkness. Yet no matter what I did, the hands continued to claw and pull me deeper. I… I couldn’t breathe… Am… Am I going to die? **