Novel & Cerita Two Blondes Walk Into A Bar Joke

"Hey Jerry, that's my daughter! Where do you think you're touching?" My colleague, Jerry Steele, has had too much to drink in the bar. He's mistaken my daughter, Maya Glover, for an escort of the bar. His hand keeps roaming across her thighs. At one point, he almost reaches up her skirt to touch her. What's crazy is that Maya seems to enjoy the way Jerry touches her, based on how horny she seems. Then, I look at Jerry's daughter, Lucinda Steele. Her chest is so big that her top is about to burst from the pressure. In that case, don't blame me for what I'm about to do to your daughter, Jerry!

The news of Jared Foley and me breaking up completely stuns our social groups. After all, we've been together for ten whole years. Even the invitations to our wedding are printed. When faced against our friends' doubts and questions, I merely reply, "We broke up over a joke." At a classmates' reunion on the day before, the drunken Chuck Garner, the class president, suddenly asks Jared a question. "Heather's your fiancee, whereas Paige is your first love. Who would you rescue if both of them fall into the sea at the same time?" Jared doesn't even bother glancing at me as he answers immediately, "Paige, of course!" For a moment, the atmosphere in the private room becomes awkward. Soon, someone quickly eases the tension. "Have you all forgotten that Heather used to be the swimming champion back then? She doesn't need Jared to save her!" Jared shoots it down immediately. "Nah. It's because Heather talks too much." A pause later, Chuck bursts out laughing. "It's been ten years! To think that the top scorer has picked up a sense of humor!" Everyone else joins in on the laughter except for me. After all, I know that Jared is speaking the truth. He's already sick and tired of me rambling on and on when I share every little detail that happens in my life with him every day. That's why he mutes my chatbox on WhatsApp. I've always thought that this is a part of Jared's personality. That is, until I accidentally stumble upon the chat history between Jared and Paige. He even makes sure to take photos of what he has for breakfast and sends them to Paige every morning. Only then do I realize that Jared isn't cold and aloof by nature. He's just cold and aloof toward me. In that case, why should I stubbornly cling to the ray of light that has never illuminated my life?

My SAT scores are out. It turns out that I'm the top scorer of my state. But I insist on applying to an obscure, third-rate private college in front of my friends and family. Everyone thinks that I've gone nuts. Mom even gets down on her knees and begs me not to destroy my future. "You can go to any top college you want! Why must you attend that trashy college instead?" I remain unmoved despite the fact that everyone keeps convincing me to change my mind. What they don't know is that if I don't go there, everyone will die in three days.

On the night meant to celebrate her two-years wedding anniversary, Hadley’s world burns—literally and emotionally. After two years of standing loyally beside her husband, Andrew Shaw, even helping him secure a major deal with Sky Group as his company’s director, Hadley receives a terrifying call: his office is on fire. Without hesitation, she rushes into the flames to save him… only to find him entangled with her own sister, Laura. Betrayed, humiliated for being overweight, and trapped in a blazing inferno, Hadley watches in disbelief as the two people she trusted most choose each other—and abandon her to die. But fate isn’t done with her yet. She survives. And this time, she walks away. Divorced and carrying Andrew’s child, Hadley disappears from his life, only for the truth to surface—she was never just the devoted wife he discarded. She is an heiress, powerful and untouchable, with a new life rising from the ashes of her past, and no longer overweight. Now, the woman Andrew once betrayed and mocked for being overweight is no longer someone he can control or insult anymore… yet she becomes the one he can’t forget. As regret consumes him, Andrew begins his relentless pursuit to win her back. But Hadley has already learned her lesson. This time, will she choose love… or revenge?

On April Fool's Day, my husband sent me an intimate photo of himself and his secretary, Claire Bennett. "I've actually been with Claire for three years. Our child is already two years old. "I'm planning to fake my death in a car accident and then move overseas with her and our daughter." The look of shock on my face made him burst out laughing. "Got you. It was April Fool's Day. You didn't actually believe that, did you?" I had just breathed a sigh of relief when he casually added, "But the part about Claire and me having a child is true." I said nothing as I looked at the smug, provocative grin on his face. What he didn't know was that I'd possessed a Lies Come True System since childhood. Whenever someone sincerely told me a lie, that lie would come true. And the death he casually joked about would become reality just three days later.

"I'm sorry, Harold! I won't come to the bar ever again… Ah, you can't touch me there…" A drunk, beautiful woman clad in a pair of black stockings can be seen at the entrance of a bar at midnight. Since she's lying on the sidewalk, her white panties are all exposed. Elated, I stick my hand beneath her skirt. Little do I know that the woman, Crystal Conley, has mistaken me for her sugar daddy, Harold Townsend, and thinks that I'm here to teach her a lesson. She's so petrified that she dares not move a muscle. I use the opportunity to part her legs and pin her down hungrily. Poor Crystal shrieks in fright, "How could you punish me like this, Harold?"

I worked tirelessly to secure a major project with the design institute, but my husband fabricated lies out of nowhere, claiming I was dragging the company down. He handed the credit for my work to his first love. Instead of getting angry, I laughed and gave my position as the company's Design Director to his precious first love too. "Working on projects all the time is exhausting. Why don't I just make you the company's Design Director instead?" Every single colleague thought I'd lost my mind, but nobody knew the project could only succeed because of my unique design style and my connections. Without me, the project would not just fail. The entire company would collapse.

Bradley Fry, my CEO husband, loves bringing his friends home for meals the most. He claims that this makes them feel like an actual family. As they drink in the feast I've whipped up for everyone, one of Bradley's friends comments smilingly, "I knew that you were a virtuous one, Emily! Now this is how the legitimate wife should act!" My expression doesn't falter as I ask in a half-joking manner, "Oh? Does Bradley have a spoiled and pampered mistress by his side, then?" His friends are stunned by my question. A trace of panic crosses their eyes simultaneously. But Bradley just wraps an arm around my shoulders with a smile. "Don't listen to their nonsense, Emily. Who else is worthy as my wife but you in this world?" As I look at Bradley's nonchalant expression, I just shoot him a smile. But when I leave the room, I dial a number. "Philip, Bradley has cheated on me with another woman. I want him to be locked behind bars for the rest of his life."

As soon as my husband sat at the dining table, he couldn't stop himself from talking. The humiliations of my school days had become his favorite entertainment, served up to his drinking buddies like appetizers. "Back then, she got her clothes torn off in the bathroom, beaten so badly she crawled on the ground like a dog, too terrified to make a sound. If it weren’t for my kindness—" That was it. I couldn’t take it anymore. I told him I wanted a divorce. He laughed it off, utterly unbothered. "Seriously? It’s just a joke! That was ages ago. You’re way too uptight—it’s just for a laugh, right?" For a laugh? Was I the only one with a past? Did he think he was untouchable? Maybe I should tell a few embarrassing stories about his precious childhood sweetheart. Fine. If it’s all about “fun,” I hoped his sweetheart found it equally hilarious when her turn came.

Our elders always advice us to stay from our enemies but what will if they themselves arranged the marriage with your enemy. Same happened with Krisha and Abeer. Abeer is an IAS officer with good looks , sense of humor and little bit of aggression. On the other hand Krisha is a lawyer with full of sarcasm and beauty a perfect combination. She is confident lady. The question is how did they become enemies? And will they able survive in this arrange marriage. Or it will turned out into complete disaster?