Willy Wonka Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

I scanned the words once, then again, because my brain refused to believe what I was seeing. Hello little bunny. Enjoy the champagne. It’s on the house.

The quote was attributed to Winnie the Pooh, and the center of the box frame held one of Michelle’s baby pictures. The TV was the Deadmonds’ reliable old Curtis Mathis, surely so out-dated that it couldn’t possibly even work anymore. He stared at it, a hint of a smile touching his lips (“I object to all this sex on the television,” Michelle used to joke in her best British, Monty Python voice. “I mean, I keep falling off!”), and he felt that rough diamond trying to rise again.

"Put on one of my shirts and come with me." I put on a plain white shirt and my panties and get out of bed. As soon as he puts on a pair of jeans, we leave the room in the direction of the dungeon. The door wasn't even locked, but he stops in front of it with his hand on the knob, smiling. "Hold your breath, make a wish, count to three"* He pauses and opens the door. "Ladies and gentlemen, the chocolate." He talks like Willy Wonka in the first version of the movie, which is the one I like best. I tap him on the arm.

I raised an eyebrow, "Butter who?" "It's butter if you don't know," he said cracking up laughing half way and I stepped aside to let him in, he bent down kissing my cheek which felt strange "I have a pizza joke too but it's not that funny. Ooh what smells nice? I have pizza, monopoly, and shit six dollar wine I picked up from ALDI, if we get poisoned, call triple zero, so have that on speed dial"

he mumbles, chewing slowly. I crouch beside him. “Weird how? Bad weird or good weird?” “Both.” He thinks for a second, then grins. “Like when you eat ice cream too fast, and it's cold and sweet but also hurts your teeth.” We laugh at his descriptions. By the time we reach a stand selling guavas, Andre's notebook is a chaotic mix of scribbles and smiley faces. He's practically vibrating with excitement, firing off questions faster than Carlton and I can answer.

Which was unusual for the party popper she was. “No, you can. You just won’t, right?” I said giving her that look. “Right. I got this huge ego on my shoulder that won’t let me.” she replied dabbing her eyes and chuckling a bit. I breathed in relief. “Now you sound like those cartoon villains in our favourite shows.” I admitted. Even at this age, cartoons were one of our guilty pleasures. We enjoyed it so much. “Oh, do I? You sound like Martin Luther King, you know. Quit this, Serena. Cause the Calily you know is finally back!!” she suddenly let out.

I gave zero fucks about their judgemental gazes. "Well, it is their loss if they are not capable of picking out a gem in a sea full of dull stones." He winked at me. My eyes narrowed, and my lips pulled up lightly, "That was a good line." Willem chuckled and said. “I’m just learning a few.”

“I'll take you out to sweet swirls if you finish your food.’ Ivy didn't budge— at least not when a visit to her favorite ice cream store was on the line. Madame Browne noticing my gained pleasure from watching her endure having Ivy, immediately chimed in, “Don't worry about that. I'll take her to Willy Wonks. That is a much more better Ice cream factory with everything made out of chocolates.” “Yay!” Ivy squealed in delight. She smiled briefly at me, her gaze hiding a flicker of something way darker than the sweetness in her voice. Her gaze was hard on my skin, her expression dark and daring as if threatening me to push further but I didn't.

I shook my head and went to sit across Audrey. She was laughing at the quotes on the wall. “These are hilarious,” she said, reading one aloud: ‘I don’t need you to brag about me, I just don’t want you to deny me in front of people. – FART!’ Her laughter burst out, filling the café. I just stared, completely captivated. Every laugh, every sparkle in her eyes, it was contagious. “Here’s another one!” she giggled. ‘What a life! Eggs every single day… eggs, eggs, eggs… Do you know who said that?’ Her eyes gleamed mischievously.

I said, looking for the screen. "Yeah, Kevin Hart is hella funny" he said, chuckling. I laugh, of course I agree with him. I stood up and turned off the lights. I went back to my seat and played Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle. We sip our cocoa munching on the cookies as we watch it. ******