Yo Daddy Jokes Novels & Stories

“Oh my God, you’re alive!” I laughed softly. “Stop it.” “Girl, do you know how many rumors I’ve had to listen to? Everyone says you ran off and married some old rich guy.” “Old?” I repeated, biting back a smile. “That’s what people said! Ugly and ancient. Like sugar-daddy levels of tragic.” I couldn’t help it, so I started laughing. “Well, they’re wrong on at least one count.” She narrowed her eyes. “Wait, so you did get married?”

“Fine. What is it?” “Candied old man.“ “What?” He looked totally lost. I sighed, shaking my head. I forgot, we have a very different sense of humor. “What’s the literal translation of 'sugar daddy' in our language?” I prompted. Dylan shrugged. “I don’t know. Why would I know that?” “I just told you!” I pouted. How did he not get it? When I heard Aunt Ivy say it, I nearly died laughing because it was so spot on. Poor Attorney Damon Fontanilla looked so embarrassed.

“Who would miss him when Papi’s right here?” Ash whipped his head toward him. “But Daddy’s funny.” Zane slid a hand into his pocket. “I’m funnier.” “Daddy’s strong.” “I’m stronger.” “Daddy makes chocolate milk.” “I can make chocolate milk while doing push-ups.” I turned my head slowly. “Zane.” “Too late,” he replied without shame, still staring at Ash with a smug little thank you on his face. Ash wrinkled his nose. “Daddy likes dinosaurs.”

he said gently now, “you are my daughter. Nothing will change that.” “Then why does it feel like it changed?” she whispered. There was silence. Daddy walked closer to her. He placed his hand on her shoulder. “You are jealous,” he said softly. Tessa quickly wiped her tears. “I am not jealous,” she said stubbornly. But she was. She was jealous of the way Daddy looked at Emily. She was jealous of the way he defended her. She was jealous of the soft voice he used with her. Daddy sighed. “Emily is important in this house,” he said. “But that does not mean you are less important.”

“Be a good toy. If you do well, tonight I’ll fuck your pussy and ass at the same time one toy in each hole while I use your mouth.” The promise made my pussy clench hard around nothing. For the next two hours, I moved around the house doing light cleaning dusting, making the bed, washing dishes all while the thick vibrating dildo stretched my ass and the collar bounced lightly against my throat with every step. Twice Daddy called me into his office just to check on me. He made me bend over his desk, spread my cheeks, and show him how well the toy was staying inside me. Each time he increased the vibration for a few seconds, leaving me whimpering and dripping down my thighs.

I said and offered him a smile. “Hmm,” he sighed and closed the door behind him, while I sulked at the fact that he didn't return the smile. In my boredom, I found a pen and a sticky note. “I would rather doodle,” I said to myself before getting at it. FORMER OUTLINE Book title : Daddy's best friend My dad's best friend has been my best friend and nanny since birth, but tonight my heart wants him. "Just call me Shawn", he says with his gaze still locked with mine as we click our champagne glasses.

"JASON!" A belt of laughter unleashes. I turn around with a glare, which only makes Jason bobble up and down even harder. The guy is shirtless, and his abs are clenching and shit. What the fuck? It can't be THAT funny! "Stop laughing, you fucking asshole! I'm trying to work here! And I liked this t-shirt!" "Really? It got paint on it!" I deadpan while Jason wheezes at his horrible dad joke. His lips won't stop trembling. There are tears in his eyes, and suddenly, he leans forward to dab purple on my boob—I'm so shocked that I sit entirely still while the lunatic laughs even harder.

“He’s not in his suit, grandma! And he’s been staying here for a long time. And he has beards growing… my friend from school said his Dad lost his job and so he stopped taking care of himself… and now he has a gut! And he drinks. Are you going to get a gut, Dad?” I’m almost dying from how hard I laugh, by the time he’s done with his explanation. Mom and Dad look fondly at Jared as he gazes at me with the most concerned face he could muster. When I recover from my laughing fit, I turn to him. “Buddy, not all people who loose their jobs get a gut… but I’ll tell you a secret…” I tell him, gesturing for him to come closer. He looks genuinely happy to be hearing my secret even though I speak out

I let out a deep, heartfelt sigh, my voice filled with warmth, "Happy birthday, Dad." "Thank you," Dad replies Kai joins in, his arms enveloping Dad, "Happy birthday, Uncle Ezra." Dad smiles warmly, replying to Kai's embrace, "Thank you, Kai." Without missing a beat, I playfully interject, "Ohh, I can’t believe it. My sweet daddy is getting old." My voice softens as I gently pat his cheeks. It's become a yearly tradition for me to jest about his age, and the banter always brings a smile to both our faces. "Don’t grow old, Daddy."

I tried turning him away at the door because he was hardly in a state to donate his shit but Mrs Cunningham, the old bat, seemed to think he was a son of hers at the moment and ushered him in. Ryan shook his head sagely and stood up from the hassock to pace the small living room. "The guy was fully pissed, but I remember him muttering something about winning a bet or dare. I think his rich bastard friends like him must have dared him to go donate his sperm for cash, probably while at some booze club." Kiersey tried not to let her heart sink further and further as disgust washed over her. Alcoholism was not in the blood, right? "Do you remember his name? Or address? What he looked like?"