Yo Daddy Jokes Novels & Stories

"Do you think every man will fall for your wiles? I'm sorry, but you're not my type at all! There's no telling how many other men had been down there—it's filthy!" "Don't you talk to my mommy like that!" Dicky suddenly shouted, his little cheeks contorted with rage. "You little bastard! Do you even know who your father is? The adults are talking!" Adam scoffed. "My daddy’s John Levine!" Dicky yelled, just as loudly. Everyone was left taken aback for a moment, but were soon roaring with laughter since they thought it was a ridiculous joke. "You little brat!" Adam raised a hand, ready to slap Dicky in the face.

He gives me a dead pan look and I burst into laughter, I bend over clutching at my sides as I laughed at him. “Keep laughing and I will throw you out.” He tells me through gritted teeth. “I’m sorry, it’s just so funny to me, don’t tell me you ever said the words, darker than my soul.” I imitate a grumpy voice when I say this. He carried the bowl of ice cream and popcorn he had been making and walked out of the kitchen, leaving me behind as I laughed. “Why did you rent a movie? Nobody does that anymore, we have streaming services now.” He tells me like I was a caveman.

Dad cut the doctor off on time before the doc could start d*cking about complicated medical shit with terms we could not understand. “Try to save your breath, doctor coz we understand only English,” Dad grinned and the doctor rightfully turned beetroot red. “Spare us the scientific nonsense, ex lover. Don’t show everyone that show off is your middle name,” Mom exasperately said. Ex lover ? Woah !! No wonder Dad jokes about Doctor Anderus stabbing him on the examination table. Haha.

Dad cut the doctor off on time before the doc could start d*cking about complicated medical shit with terms we could not understand. “Try to save your breath, doctor coz we understand only English,” Dad grinned and the doctor rightfully turned beetroot red. “Spare us the scientific nonsense, ex lover. Don’t show everyone that show off is your middle name,” Mom exasperatedly said. Ex lover ? Woah !! No wonder Dad jokes about Doctor Anderus stabbing him on the examination table. Haha.

Daddy thinks he’s scary, but he’s silly. There's a kid here I don't know who keeps crying near the bouncy castle. I hope his mommy comes to get him soon because I don’t want crying at my birthday. Daddy’s wearing the shirt Mommy likes. She came back yesterday and he said he wants her to see what she’s missing. I don’t know why she’d be missing his shirt, but grownups are weird. Uncle Mason does the toast, because he won the rock-paper-scissors contest. Uncle Julian said he was the best at making speeches, then uncle Mason said uncle Julian wasn’t allowed to tell dirty jokes in front of the kids so he’d have nothing to say, then uncle Julian said uncle Mason was boring and nobody wanted to li

someone yelled. "I won’t shut up until someone answers!" Lucas shouted back, clearly enjoying the attention. "We don’t know and we don’t care, so shut the hell up, Lucas!" another voice barked. "Wrong! It’s called Lemon-aid! Get it? Like the drink?" The groan this time was even louder. "Dad jokes are never, ever funny," Elodie muttered, shaking her head.

She asked with a smile. “We went to play with the neighbors, they are so friendly and they have so many toys!” Scott exclaimed and Adrianna pat their head. “Their daddy played hide and seek with us! I’m sure daddy will do that for us too,” Scarlett pouted. “Yes mummy, where’s daddy?” Skyler added and it felt like she’s just been hit with a truck. “Ehm, Daddy will come home soon,” Adrianna muttered and slowly tears dropped on her gown, Dora noticed the situation and move closer to the kids.

He proved to be a great listener I wondered two days in if he’d ever wake up. This morning I went through the routine when my mom called me and our conversation ended up in her cussing at Peter because, in her words, he is a 'dirty man whore' Now I went into my newfound hobby of gazing at the man in my bed. I'd giving him a name too, Kel, after my dog I had when I was eleven. I couldn't still place where he was from because he didn't look American one bit and now that I think about it neither did those men.

“Huh? Hump! We won’t want him to be our daddy. He is a big daddy that constantly bullies Mommy. He is not our daddy!” Jerry tilted his head and said in an adorable voice, “But Mommy has never told us who Daddy is? He is most likely to a daddy. I heard he’s getting engaged to another woman next month.” “Oh, hehe! We will send him a big gift when he gets engaged!” I said with a smile. Jerry’s interest piqued as he asked, “Jason, what idea did you come up with this time? Our previous prank on him didn’t seem have much effect. It didn’t cause any harm him either!”

I exclaimed and chuckled. He was laughing too as he told his story. "I know! After I said that, he and our old men stared at me for a long time. Then Papa cursed me in Español and stormed out. But I know my joke was funny because I saw some of our old men holding in their laughs. Mama heard about it and lectured me about it. Anyway, it was one of my funniest jokes to date." Imagine being a kid and joking in front of your father after he just killed a person. And then imagine being so mad you had to kill in front of your child and he just jokes about your face. I guess craziness runs in their blood.