Yo Daddy Jokes Novels & Stories

He simply comes up behind me and rests both hands on my belly, chin on my shoulder. “They’re going to love this room,” he murmurs. “I hope so.” “They will. And they’ll love their mother even more.” Zavian joins us a few minutes later. The three of us stand together in the completed nursery, looking at the space we built. No one rushes to fill the silence. It is enough to be here, surrounded by the evidence of the future we are making. Evenings have become my favorite part of the day.

"Do you think every man will fall for your wiles? I'm sorry, but you're not my type at all! There's no telling how many other men had been down there—it's filthy!" "Don't you talk to my mommy like that!" Dicky suddenly shouted, his little cheeks contorted with rage. "You little bastard! Do you even know who your father is? The adults are talking!" Adam scoffed. "My daddy’s John Levine!" Dicky yelled, just as loudly. Everyone was left taken aback for a moment, but were soon roaring with laughter since they thought it was a ridiculous joke. "You little brat!" Adam raised a hand, ready to slap Dicky in the face.

My smile widened as I mindlessly took off my jacket setting it down on the leather seat. I clung to Dalton chatting with him as Enzo thought it was the time for the like of the day as he called it. It was one of those stupid habits that we had going on as kids and it kinda stuck with us and Enzo was the one with the shittiest and corniest jokes. I braced myself to hear one of his dad jokes, Dalton was holding in his laugh at the eager look on his brother's face already. "What do you call a joke without a punchline?"

Dad frowns I tried my best not to let my chuckle slip, it slipped anyways. The frown on daddy's face deepens "pumpkin?" "I swear dad, I am not playing with you. I am being very honest." I say, laughing already "Weren't you just crying some minutes ago, now you are laughing." he raises his eyebrows questioningly "Daddy, I am very serious." I exclaim He shakes his head knowingly, and palm his forehead "You are bipolar, pumpkin."

Gael Slater: Freddy Frugal is upping my allowance? Lucian rolls his eyes and tousles the boy's hair, earning a groan of protest. Lucian Slater: I think what you mean to say is; 'Thank you, pop. That was so generous. You are the best daddy in the world'. Gael raises an eyebrow as he glances up at Lucian. Completely against the suggestion. Lucian Slater: Twelve dollars. Gael's eyes pop open. Gael Slater: You're the best father in the world, and I love you more than I love your sloppy joes.

It's pathetic! He dropped that bomb and strutted off before I could fire back. I could hardly believe my ears that such boneheaded words came from the man I have loved for years. His so-called 'cozy winter promos' were just a table with free cups of cheap black coffee and some giveaway gloves out front. The coffee often went cold, untouched, and those gloves ended up in the street bin. However, Seth, of course, thought they were pure gold. Somehow, I was the one cashing in on Lily's ideas!

He gives me a dead pan look and I burst into laughter, I bend over clutching at my sides as I laughed at him. “Keep laughing and I will throw you out.” He tells me through gritted teeth. “I’m sorry, it’s just so funny to me, don’t tell me you ever said the words, darker than my soul.” I imitate a grumpy voice when I say this. He carried the bowl of ice cream and popcorn he had been making and walked out of the kitchen, leaving me behind as I laughed. “Why did you rent a movie? Nobody does that anymore, we have streaming services now.” He tells me like I was a caveman.

Dad cut the doctor off on time before the doc could start d*cking about complicated medical shit with terms we could not understand. “Try to save your breath, doctor coz we understand only English,” Dad grinned and the doctor rightfully turned beetroot red. “Spare us the scientific nonsense, ex lover. Don’t show everyone that show off is your middle name,” Mom exasperately said. Ex lover ? Woah !! No wonder Dad jokes about Doctor Anderus stabbing him on the examination table. Haha.

Dad cut the doctor off on time before the doc could start d*cking about complicated medical shit with terms we could not understand. “Try to save your breath, doctor coz we understand only English,” Dad grinned and the doctor rightfully turned beetroot red. “Spare us the scientific nonsense, ex lover. Don’t show everyone that show off is your middle name,” Mom exasperatedly said. Ex lover ? Woah !! No wonder Dad jokes about Doctor Anderus stabbing him on the examination table. Haha.

Daddy thinks he’s scary, but he’s silly. There's a kid here I don't know who keeps crying near the bouncy castle. I hope his mommy comes to get him soon because I don’t want crying at my birthday. Daddy’s wearing the shirt Mommy likes. She came back yesterday and he said he wants her to see what she’s missing. I don’t know why she’d be missing his shirt, but grownups are weird. Uncle Mason does the toast, because he won the rock-paper-scissors contest. Uncle Julian said he was the best at making speeches, then uncle Mason said uncle Julian wasn’t allowed to tell dirty jokes in front of the kids so he’d have nothing to say, then uncle Julian said uncle Mason was boring and nobody wanted to li