Yo Mama Jokes For Adults Novels & Stories

“Why would I change when you’ll never stop trying to earn a joke from every situation?” “Isn’t life more fun with jokes? Something to laugh about once in a while. You know, it makes the world beautiful and fun when it’s dark. Studies even say laughter heals faster than herbs do. Lowers pain, strengthens the heart, clears the head. Makes the blood flow freer. In short — that’s why I’m looking younger and living longer. Which of those old people in the pack is as old as me, uh? None. I’m the oldest.”

I exclaimed and chuckled. He was laughing too as he told his story. "I know! After I said that, he and our old men stared at me for a long time. Then Papa cursed me in Español and stormed out. But I know my joke was funny because I saw some of our old men holding in their laughs. Mama heard about it and lectured me about it. Anyway, it was one of my funniest jokes to date." Imagine being a kid and joking in front of your father after he just killed a person. And then imagine being so mad you had to kill in front of your child and he just jokes about your face. I guess craziness runs in their blood.

I would ask you, but my mother said you don’t ask a lady their age. EMomma: I don’t mind. We’re the same age, though my birthday is in October. MountHD: Then I don’t have to worry about a generation gap. Some messages I received had slang and shorthand that I think I’m too old to have received the translator for, lol. EMomma: LOL. I’ve stayed up to date on it all, but my kids are fifteen, so I need to know these things. MountHD: That makes sense. My son is 24 going on 25, so I never learned it all *shrug*

Oh my God, this is so abso-fucking-massively cool, as massive as an elephant's balls: I found the vampire's weakness. "Aww, you want him to call you his daddy, don't you?" I wiggle my eyebrows and glance over my shoulder to wink at the man who wants to kill me about a thousand times more than he wanted when he arrived. "Come on, be a big boy, DeAmes, grip your big boy panties and call the blood sponge your daddy; he's waiting." Side note: these three are fucking boring. I'm on the roll today, delivering the best jokes ever, and none of them acknowledges my effort. Fucking boomers.

I'll only ever be a disappointment to him. I still make my jokes though. Thats the time where I can be myself, and make people happy. I want to make people happy. I've never liked it when they're upset. Everytime Theo got upset, I'd tell him a funny story and that usually worked. I wonder if Mommy would have liked my jokes?

“I want to stock up on Snickers, Chips Ahoy and maybe some M&M’s. You know, melts in your mouth, not in your hands.” “Good choice, honey,” Mrs. Montemayor says. “Those will bring you luck because M&M is also our family monogram. Get it? Montemayor.” The mother winks at her daughter and freezes her face like an emoji. Grace groans loudly and Kate and Mikaela laugh. “Yep. You’ve still got the monopoly on mom jokes,” Grace says, shaking her head.

He let out an overdramatic groan, and the room erupted in laughter once again, the harmonious symphony of camaraderie and jest "Grandma Maria, cut it out, will you? I'm not a kid anymore," Marcus protested, a playful glint in his eyes. Grandma Maria raised an eyebrow, her expression one of mock seriousness. "Are you, now? Maybe once you stop your flirty ways and quit turning every she-wolf's head, I'll consider treating you like an adult," she retorted with a sly grin. Jessica couldn't help but join in, her laughter chiming in harmony with Ryan's. "Yeah, Marcus, even the moon's blushing when you're around," she teased, earning another round of laughter.

I confessed moaning. "Your mama raised you well, that I'm definitely sure of," Jackson said moaning and hardly catching his breath. "My mom was a better whore than I am, I am sure she is the best sex tutorial lecturer ever," I admitted honestly to Jackson. "Okay, start riding on my dick softly but be careful of my fibula, they are silently freaking out too," Jackson said jokingly. "Yeah," I swiftly replied to Jackson.

I murmur, looking through the stuff, "Half of this won't make it past my ass." "Hey, I love your ass," Leo rushes to say, but his mom gasps so he makes a grimace, realizing what he said in front of her, "That was a joke." "Don't be crass, especially not in front of other people," she chastises him, "You are definitely not fat, Jolene and I'm sure we'll find something you love in your size." Huh. My mom would've called me an obese whale by now, but I guess not all moms are the same.

She paused "Our time is in the past, Maureen. Let the young ones find their own way.” Maureen looked at her mother with pure admiration. “Mama, can I ever defeat you in an argument? Just once?” “Only when you’re at rock bottom,” Mama Eunice joked, a wicked glint in her eyes. “Or when you’re being used as compost for my prize-winning tomatoes.” Another round of laughter filled the room, longer and louder this time, and it felt really good.