Yo Momma Jokes Dark Novels & Stories

Ryan “ɪᴛs ᴅᴀʀᴋ, ᴍᴏᴍᴍʏ.“ ɪ ᴡʀᴀᴘᴘᴇᴅ ᴍʏ sᴇᴠᴇɴ ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴏʟᴅ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ʜᴀɴᴅs ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴍʏ ʙᴏᴅʏ ᴀs ɪ sʜɪᴠᴇʀᴇᴅ, ᴍᴏᴍ ʟᴏᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀsᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ, sʜᴇ sᴀɪᴅ sʜᴇ ᴡᴀs sᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏɴsᴛᴇʀs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏɴsᴛᴇʀ.

Adam’s lips press against my temple, “Have I ever told you how hot I get when you get all vengeful like this, little skunk?” My lips twitch at his words, “Will you stop calling me that already?” But as if the universe deemed it so, my daughter begins to parrot, pointing her little finger at me, “Skunk. Skunk. Skunk.” I glare at my mate who has dissolved into peals of laughter, “You are a terrible person.” “Mommy is not a skunk,” I correct Sheila. “Daddy’s a piece of poo though.” Adam is too busy laughing to say anything in his defence.

"Duh, I'm not a complete dolt I know I can't drink." "Didn't say you were babe but when you get around this bunch you always lose your damn mind." I glowered at the table at large and got goofy smiles all around. Fuck were these women up to? "This bunch is your two sisters, your mother and her friends." "Uh huh, your point?" "I never thought I'd see the day, my son the bad ass is whipped." Ma and her friends whooped it up at my expense and then the male jokes started. Apparently we were all pussy whipped asses being led around by our dicks. I never knew ma even had those types of conversations.

"So, you were expecting me to give you a massage that would bring you to the edge of cumin? Do you think mom has ever had an orgasm in her life?" Jen got feisty, "YEAH LOSER, THAT'S WHAT I WAS EXPECTING! I think you are all hype, the golden boy. Let's see how good you are, loser." Then she started laughing. "And, NO! Mom would have a seizure if she ever came. She wouldn't even know what was happening."

Aaron saw the conflict in me, and told me to go ahead and make all the jokes I wanted. I couldn’t help the “yo’ momma” jokes that immediately came out of my mouth. Aaron’s situation was incredibly sad and tragic. Even so…the idea of Aaron’s mate leaving him out of fear that he was sleeping with his own mother… how do you not make jokes out of that???? When I couldn’t stop making jokes, Aaron decided to tease me that my mate story was only marginally better, having met my mate while wearing a wedding dress.

My younger brother bullied me at school until my liver ruptured. When I was carried into the nurse's office, I begged my mother to save me. She was the school nurse. But instead of looking at me, she rushed to my brother because he had a scrape on his wrist. "Mom, please. I'm dying." She slapped me across the face. "If you're so desperate to die, then die already! How did I end up with a heartless animal like you? What if your brother scars?" So I did exactly what she told me to do. I died. By the next night, my mother had lost her mind.

I taunted her, saying "Mom, you just orgasmed without touching yourself. You came just from sucking your son's hard cock. And then you swallowed my cum with a smile on your face." Mom surprised me by continuing to proudly smile as she said, "That's because I'm a dirty slut that isn't happy unless I have my sweet son's hard cock inside me. I love feeling your hot cum spraying into my slut holes. I'm a dirty slut of a mother that gets off on being my baby's fuck hole and cum bucket."

I explained in a small voice. "Miscounted?" Mom spat, interrupting me. "You're the only one who didn't get anything. She was probably annoyed that you were trying to get one. Why must you be so greedy? You're so embarrassing! Will you only be satisfied when everyone ridicules me for raising such a greedy daughter?" A wave of stress crashed into me. I dug my nails into my arms and scratched myself until my skin turned raw and bloody. However, I didn't feel even an ounce of comfort.

My light energy wasn't strong enough to save me and I could feel myself slipping away until all I could see was black. And then I saw a faint light and a figure that glowed in the surrounding darkness. "I'm right here," the figure said in a soothing manner. The voice sounded awfully familiar and I almost groaned when I realized who the hell it was. "Are you in my head again mum?" "I am. It's really dark in here, have you seen the light switch?" My mom had an uncanny ability to make bad jokes in a bad situation. It was her coping mechanism that I wished she got rid of or at least wished she'd tell better jokes.

"Xavier, what happened to you? Your mom just wanted to borrow your house for your brother's wedding. If you didn't want to help, fine. But calling the cops and having them arrested? "Your mother and I worked so hard to raise you. We never asked for anything in return. But this is how you repay us?" Just as he expected, people around us started whispering. "He had his own mother arrested? What kind of son does that?" "I can't believe it. What an ungrateful brat. His parents wasted their time raising him." "Look at him. Cold as ice. You'd be better off raising a dog than a son like that."