Yo Momma Jokes Dark Novels & Stories

Promised I'd hang with them tonight Tyson Chicken: Damn cockblockers Me: You have a hand :) Me: Two if you need one for your second cock too Tyson Chicken: Will you be using your hands tonight? Me: Wouldn’t you like to know Tyson Chicken: Will find a way to find out ;) "What's so funny?" My mom took me out of a trance I didn't realize I was in. "Nothing. Just some funny comments on an I*******m post," I replied. "Clearly her phone is more entertaining than us." My dad gave an amused smile.

I said with a snigger, "While my mom is more of a rational demon." "R-Rational demon!?" He knitted his brows, utterly puzzled as to what I meant. "Yeah, she is like... I'll kill and die for you at one moment, and in the next moment she is like 'I'M NOT YOUR GODDAMN MAID AND WILL BURN ALL THE SHIT ON YOUR BEDROOM FLOOR IN A MASSIVE BONFIRE AND DANCE AROUND THE FLAMES IN GLORY AND RAGE' you know." I mimicked my mama when she morphed into 'The Momster.'

"I figured that much. She swore me to secrecy, but she told you?" "I had to tell someone!" Roni explained. Watching them as they talked about babies and marriage and their future, there was no doubt in Gio's mind Noah was not making a mistake. Abel's mom was just old school, but to Abel, she could do or say no wrong. Whatever the woman said was golden as far as he was concerned. As much as Abel could kick some ass for the most part, he stayed cool unless provoked. But the one thing that would light his fuse faster than anything was saying something bad about that boy's momma. You couldn't even mess around with Yo Momma jokes with him unless you wanted your ass handed to you.

"The only person who could have an answer to my question is your mother, and she is dead." Now it was Raziah turned to start laughing like a lunatic and Dark raised up his brows. "What's funny in what I said? You think I am joking with you?" he said in a very dangerous tone which didn't stop Raziah from laughing, if possible she laughed more. Dark made as if he wanted to climb the bed and strangle her and he had nearly succumbed to the thought. Raziah stopped laughing and became serious. "I know that's what Barwolf told you, he told you what you needed to hear but you see, my mother is much alive." Raziah told him.

"You are very bright, eloquent and deceptive." "You are very bright as well," Pamela commented. "Your other failings you compensate for by being an exceptionally erotic fucker." "Exceptionally? Not really. Any situation that has 'fuck' in it, I'm usually on board with; even if it is 'fucked-up', 'fucked-over', and 'royally fucked'," I joked. I paused. "I need to warn Dad. This is a truly demented situation and I need to warn him to burn anything to do with Mom before the freak show arrives. The gift from Grandpa that keeps on giving. I almost miss not killing him myself."

my mom said sarcastically, rolling her hazel brown eyes. "Boy, you roll your eyes way too much mom," I said trying my best not to roll my eyes and keep my lips from twitching into a smile. "Well, it's a contagious disease," she smiled. Pft! I rolled my eyes. She chuckled and I felt myself hiding back a laugh myself. This lady really knows how to lighten the mood. "Point taken," I said folding my hands across my chest and sat across from her on my loveseat. "Very well. Now that we have got that out of the way, we can get down to business," my mom paused for effect. I raised a dark eyebrow at her. "As you know, the Black Diamonds Pack were planned to come here, but-"

Just yesterday he was trying to make Clara calm down and now today his mom not only insulted her but also slapped her, he tried standing up but the pain from his crotch made him realized he was still in the hospital and remembered the doctors words, instantly he screamed as Annie quickly ran to his bed side afraid he might harm himself. “Mom, I'm….. I'm,” Annie quickly signaled him to shut up, he looked at Clara and he instantly got what his mom meant. He calmed down and looked at Clara as he tried to smile. Clara felt irritated instantly, this was the person she had poured six years of her youth into and two years of her life in his company but what did she get in return,? She felt absorbed

But instead of acknowledging my feelings, she brushed them aside, insisting on her own version of reality. “I think you’re the one who’s living in delusions, Maddie. After everything we’ve been through, you’re just gonna drop it like nothing. Don’t talk rubbish, Maddie. You’re not that stupid.” Her dismissiveness grated on my nerves, igniting a simmering anger within me. "You think this was a joke?" I snapped, my frustration bubbling to the surface. "I am serious, mother." But Mom's response was a chuckle, "Enough with the jokes, Maddie," she said, her tone light and unconcerned as if my words were nothing more than a jest to her.

"If Mom asks about Cordelia one more fucking time, I might have to perform harakiri on myself." I understand my brother's frustration; he spends many of his days looking out for our mother. And someone with vascular dementia can a fucking challenge to deal with. I jokingly shove Timofey's shoulder. "Stop stealing mom's chocolate, dolboyob." Mom's eyes dart between us. She doesn't understand our banter anymore. "Don't worry, Matuskha," I say. "We're just joking. You know your sons love each other." I hand her the box. "Have another one."

Dre asked sweetly from behind Joy, while fluttering his eyelashes for further effect. Joy’s jaw clenched in fury and the Alpha she wolf was only seconds away from murdering the bratty Beta. However, he suddenly flashed his phone screen with Lex written on it, towards her and warned, “If you hurt me, I will send your embarrassing videos to your mate. I am sure he will enjoy them all,” he threatened with a smug smile. “I knew eating dark chocolate affected babies during a pregnancy. Aunt Maelis (Dre’s mom) should not have eaten those while carrying you, only to give birth to the darkest soul ever,” Joy hissed.