You Hurt Yourself To Make Me Stay นิยาย & เรื่องราว

“You’re hurt; you need help.” “Get me out of here. Just help me stand,” I insisted. “You’re a moron. Stay where you are.”

I can’t help being a sharp shard of hurt piercing right though my heart. “You’re such a selfish egotistic idiot. No one told you to sacrifice anything! You don’t get to decide what I want for myself. You’re my happy ending, okay, so nothing else matters… I’m going to stay and fight for that, so shut up and let me help you get out of here.”

Maybe that's you, never change you always give everything to me. I always knew that, knew that you loved me so much and couldn't live without me. But I, who is selfish and stupid, do not feel grateful. I even used that excuse to torture you, make you cry, and act arbitrarily. I also don't know why I'm like this. You are a precious person and I don't want to lose you. But, I also can't stop hurting you. Maybe this is a disease, a disease that makes me selfish, stupid and grows into a thorny chain that is holding you back. ***

"Because you matter to me? Because I'm not going to sit still while something terrible happens to you. I couldn’t possibly do that to you. I couldn't possibly do that to me either." "you speak as though what hurts me could hurt you as well." "because that is how it is, Ky. What hurts you hurts me, and I couldn't live with myself if I had to outlive you." he placed both hands on my cheeks, but I still smiled through it. "you won't have to. I'll do what I can to stay safe. I'll do what I can to make this harder than it already is. I promise."

“How do I—?” “Cut yourself,” she said simply, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I froze, my heart skipping a beat. “What? I have to hurt myself?” “Yes, and make sure the wound is deep.”

Like it was that easy. But it wasn’t. “You won’t always be able to,” I said. A pause. “Then I’ll try anyway.” I looked at him. Really looked. And for the first time since everything changed I saw it clearly. He wasn’t staying because it was safe. He was staying despite it. And that? That made it harder. Not easier. Because now If I lost control I wouldn’t just lose myself. I might lose him too. “I don’t want to hurt you,” I whispered.

He had long left the bed and was pacing back and forth now, his hand constantly going back and forth on his head. My emotions were conflicted, and I didn't know which one to lean to. Which one to embrace. I need to get back home, that is the most rational thing to do. But why do I want to stay? Why do I want to be around a man I had only met yesterday? Why the desperate urge to wipe away his pain, his sadness? Why the desperation to make him… mine? I sighed, making up my mind. This is insanity. Staying here is not an option. So I did what I knew how to do best. Hurt people.

he yells to myself. “ Why do you care if she do that to me!” I yell back. “ Because nobody can hurt you except us! Anyone hurting you would pay for it!” he shouts as he finds his way to the door. I’m speechless and I feel my knee weak now. I want to fall so I hold the wall for support. I’m fucked for thinking they would ever trust me. Shit fuck me! “ Fuck me big time!!!” I yell to my reflection as I stand in front of the mirror, gripping it tightly that it almost cut through me.

Why does it keep getting more painful? "You don't deserve someone like me. You'll just get hurt more if you stay with me. That's why I will force you to take you out of my life because I deserve to be alone. I-I shouldn't have dreamed of someone like you." I heard him choke. He stood up from his seat, his back to me, his hand on his waist. I saw his eyes, forcing himself not to cry.