You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

My fiancé, Keith Odell is a hot air balloon pilot. His first love, Michelle Lavigne, insisted on taking a risk and flying to a thousand meters above ground when the balloon’s helium began to leak.  In that moment of crisis, Keith grabbed the tandem parachute and leaped with her.  With tears in my eyes, I begged him, “I'm pregnant with your child. Can’t you take me first?” But he reproached me. “Is this really the time to fake your pregnancy because of a bit of jealousy? You learned how to skydive but Chelle is afraid of heights. We’ll wait for you on the ground.” Then he forcibly shook off my hand and parachuted down with his first love.  He failed to notice the hole in the only parachute he left me. Michelle had deliberately done it.  Carrying our unborn child, I closed my eyes and leaped.

I was dismembered and thrown into an abandoned warehouse. Before my consciousness faded away, I used the last bit of my strength to send a message via mind link to Timothy Russell, the Alpha heir that I had loved for six years. "Timothy, I'm in so much pain..." The next second, a cold mental barrier crashed down between us, cutting off all communication. That was his response to me. I knew I had been too presumptuous. I had disturbed him while he was at an auction helping his foster sister, Rochell Lucas. The moment my heart stopped beating, Timothy, who was helping Rochell put on a bracelet, felt his chest cave in. While everyone watched, the future Alpha knelt on the ground as countless bone-deep wounds appeared across his body out of nowhere. He convulsed in agony, screaming my name. Only then did everyone notice a glowing blood pact mark appearing on his tongue. I remembered. Once upon a time, he swore an oath to the moon. "If I ever betray Leah, every bit of suffering she has endured will return to me tenfold."

SHE likes HIM. HIM likes HER. HER likes... What would happen if SHE accidentally cast the spell on someone else instead of HIM? And that someone else SHE casted the spell with is HER! Can SHE handle the mess before it gets out of control or the mess will handle them and put them under its control? Is HER really under the spell?

Terkutuk dan dikurung dalam cermin, memiliki kekuatan sihir jahat yang harus dihancurkan. Rose dipertemukan dengan Bara lelaki unik yang tak sengaja mengucapkan mantra hingga ia terbebas dari cermin, begitupun mengembalikan warna putih pada bunga mawarnya yang menghitam, dengan arti bahwa Bara mampu menghancurkan kutukan pada diri Rose, serta akan dapat membantunya untuk melenyapkan sosok penyihir yang telah mengutuknya dan masih terus mengejarnya sampai detik ini. Namun, hati Bara rupanya terlampau keras, bertemu dengan Rose baginya adalah petaka, terlebih hatinya telah tertaut pada gadis sombong benama Lily. Bara membiarkan Rose terkurung dalam gelapnya kutukan. Semua semakin diperburuk dengan rahasia yang mulai terungkap, mengenai sosok penyihir yang ternyata sudah lama berada di dekatnya. Mengintai tanpa diketahui, menunggu kedatangan waktu yang tepat untuk melancarkan aksinya. Sampai tiba malam bulan purnama, Rose resmi diabadikan dalam kutukan. Tepat di depan mata Bara. Menyaksikan itu, apa yang akan Bara lakukan? Mungkinkah perasaannya masih mengharapkan Rose agar pergi? Atau untaian kenangan dapat mengubah perasaanya dalam sekejap? sirahshe ~ Copyright 2021

"Her knight in shining armour or her kidnapper?Allie has loved Jay forever. But he sent her away when she was eighteen and forced her to live her own life, away from the street and the gangs. Away from him. It had hurt, but she’d done it. For ten years she'd built a career and a life separate from him. Now he's back and he wants what belongs to him.Furious that Allie was hurt while out of his protection, Jay decides it's time to bring the woman he loves home where she belongs. Whether she wants to come or not. He's done lurking in the shadows, watching but never touching. She was always his. The difference is, now she knows it.Will Allie quietly accept her new life and let her old one go? Or will she fight the man she's loved her entire life because she can't risk losing herself again...Because You're Mine, Mine to Keep is created by Nikita Slater, an EGlobal Creative Publishing signed author."

Nicole Summers has been kept in the dark her whole life, that is until she meets Leandre — the transfer student and the heir to the Midnight Moon Pack. As her seventeenth birthday approaches, her siblings reveal that she's a werewolf, just like them. Animal attacks and abductions happen, entangling her life into the deep web of werewolves, vampires, and witches. More secrets unravel themselves right in front of her, entangling her in a world full of surprises, new abilities, and danger. A story of family and mysteries. "You're a Werewolf"

Max, Ryan, Sam and Hannah are back in the anticipated sequel to Forever Yours. Please read the first book first as it is the direct sequel. The boys have grown up, with each of them having a company of their own. Samantha and Hannah had just completed their studies and are searching for jobs. Sam played Hannah and made her get a job in the company she never wanted to work in: and she couldn’t get out just because of the contract she signed. And you are right. It was Ryan’s company. She was freaking out. She was mad at Sam, she hated Ryan, she couldn’t believe anything but that was the truth. So she had to face it.

ASTRID YU, a washed-up, burnt-out former child actress, starts a YouTube vlog in an attempt to stay relevant in PH mainstream media. She collaborates with a local coffee shop, Brew Blends, so she could make her content for one of her vlog's many series (“Be a Barista with Me!"). However, she gains a following for all the wrong reasons—her viewers ship her with the coffee shop's owner, ENRIQUE LEE. Which would've been fine… if he hadn't been the infamous high school sweetheart she left behind for the sake of her acting career. Not to mention that after all this time, Astrid is still deeply in love with him. And Lee? Well, Lee hates her guts.

In the eighteenth century Asia, nestled in eastern Korea, there was a peaceful and the most captivating kingdom called Noam, but even Confucius had his misfortunes. It was time when the royal family of Noam experienced a tragic incident. Queen Iseul, the beautiful fair royal consort of Noam, did something heinous against a poor girl with the help of a Shaman. The dying girl, with no other alternative, viciously cursed the Queen's unborn twins leaving behind a scar in the walls of the royal family. From there, the foundation of an unfortunate event started to set it's roots. The heart wrenching saga of misfortune inaugurated. The Devil's Bible was the last resort to lift up the curse, but unfortunately the solution to lift the curse leads to a bloody path. The major part of the story revolves around Si-ri, the cursed child and her journey to freedom. A girl who has been imprisoned in an old mansion by her father to ensure her safety.

Zara Thomas is 23, broke, exhausted, and desperate. A waitress clinging to dead-end shifts and shattered dreams, her world collapses further when her mother is diagnosed with cancer.and the bills are more than she could ever afford. Out of options, out of time, and out of hope, Zara does the unthinkable: she sells one night of herself for money. She walks into a luxury hotel suite expecting shame. she meets Alexander Sterling a dangerously magnetic billionaire who strips her down with his eyes and undoes her with a single touch. One night. No names. No emotions. Just survival. Until fate twists cruelly. A week later, she lands a dream job… as his personal secretary. He’s cold, commanding, and acts like she’s invisible. But his gaze lingers. His touch remembers. And so does hers. What begins as tension spirals into a relationship laced with passion, pain, and everything neither of them expected. But just as Zara starts to believe in something more, a ghost from his past returns, lines blur between duty, desire, and something deeper, past secrets begin to surface, and one devastating truth could change everything. Will love be enough to rebuild the empire they lost or will the weight of their past destroy everything they almost had?