You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

SHE likes HIM. HIM likes HER. HER likes... What would happen if SHE accidentally cast the spell on someone else instead of HIM? And that someone else SHE casted the spell with is HER! Can SHE handle the mess before it gets out of control or the mess will handle them and put them under its control? Is HER really under the spell?

ASTRID YU, a washed-up, burnt-out former child actress, starts a YouTube vlog in an attempt to stay relevant in PH mainstream media. She collaborates with a local coffee shop, Brew Blends, so she could make her content for one of her vlog's many series (“Be a Barista with Me!"). However, she gains a following for all the wrong reasons—her viewers ship her with the coffee shop's owner, ENRIQUE LEE. Which would've been fine… if he hadn't been the infamous high school sweetheart she left behind for the sake of her acting career. Not to mention that after all this time, Astrid is still deeply in love with him. And Lee? Well, Lee hates her guts.

A tale of two souls, intertwined by fate: One soul, cloaked with isolation and grief, was a solitary figure who struggles to connect with others. The other soul has a heart hardened against the possibility of love. Florence “Flo” Emry, now twenty-one, has retreated into a life of solitude following a traumatic car accident that occurred when she was sixteen. It changed her life forever. The accident left her completely deaf in one ear and partially deaf in the other as she needs hearing aid for it. She was devastated when she found out that she became disabled, but she was more broken when she also found out that she had tragically lost her parents and older brother in only one night. Feeling abandoned and worthless, Florence, who was filled with debt from her student loan, has become deeply disappointed and resentful towards herself, seeing herself as a useless human being. One fateful day, a chance encounter with a mysterious man named Zacchaeus “Chaos” Spencer Battenkurt the filthy rich billionaire playboy, 26 years old, turned her life upside down. This charismatic, very polite and respectful man, seemingly ordinary, was actually hiding a deep dark secret. These two souls, so different yet intertwined by fate, must navigate their own internal struggles while also confronting the challenges of their external world. But the question remains: Will they be able to break down their barriers and find solace in each other’s company or will their differences prove to be insurmountable obstacles?

Five years ago, Ava Sinclair was forced into a contract marriage with Damian Cross, a ruthless billionaire CEO, to save her family from financial ruin. Their marriage was cold and transactional, but one night, emotions got the best of them, leading to a passionate encounter. The next morning, Ava overheard Damian saying he would never love her—only tolerate her as his wife. Heartbroken, she left him, pregnant and in hiding. Now, five years later, Ava is back in the city as an accomplished and a successful executive in one of Damian’s rival firms. A scandal forces her company into a fake engagement with Damian, a strategic move to keep the media at bay. Damian has no memory of their past marriage—a mysterious accident erased that part of his life. To him, Ava is just an ex-employee, a woman he feels inexplicably drawn to. But when he starts chasing her back, desperate to understand why she despises him, Ava is caught in a web of revenge and longing.

"Her knight in shining armour or her kidnapper?Allie has loved Jay forever. But he sent her away when she was eighteen and forced her to live her own life, away from the street and the gangs. Away from him. It had hurt, but she’d done it. For ten years she'd built a career and a life separate from him. Now he's back and he wants what belongs to him.Furious that Allie was hurt while out of his protection, Jay decides it's time to bring the woman he loves home where she belongs. Whether she wants to come or not. He's done lurking in the shadows, watching but never touching. She was always his. The difference is, now she knows it.Will Allie quietly accept her new life and let her old one go? Or will she fight the man she's loved her entire life because she can't risk losing herself again...Because You're Mine, Mine to Keep is created by Nikita Slater, an EGlobal Creative Publishing signed author."

Si Crisanta ay may matagal ng pangarap na maging isang sikat na news writer kaya naman madalas siyang tumambay sa opisina ng kanyang ninong na hepe ng pulisya sa kanilang bayan upang makasagap ng scoop or balita. Dito niya unang nakita ang gwapo at makisig na pulis na si Sergeant Alexander Ricarfort, pangalan pa lang ang kisig na. Tinamaan ka agad siya ng palaso ni kupido lalo na ng masalat niya kung gaano "katambok" at "katigas" ang abs nito. Gumawa siya ng paraan para mapalapit sa binata at ng makakuha na rin siya ng magandang article para sa kanilang newspaper. ayun nga lang mukhang lagi siyang inaalat, dahil sa tuwing mag lalapit sila ni Alex ay kung ano-ano namang kapalpakan ang nagagawa niya na lalong ikinainis ng binata sa kanya. Paano pa kaya siya magugustuhan ni Alex kung lahat ng gusto nito sa isang babae ay wala sa kanya? idagdag pa na meron na pala itong "babe". Wala na nga kayang pag-asa ang mapagmahal na puso ni Cris para sa makisig nating pulis?

Max, Ryan, Sam and Hannah are back in the anticipated sequel to Forever Yours. Please read the first book first as it is the direct sequel. The boys have grown up, with each of them having a company of their own. Samantha and Hannah had just completed their studies and are searching for jobs. Sam played Hannah and made her get a job in the company she never wanted to work in: and she couldn’t get out just because of the contract she signed. And you are right. It was Ryan’s company. She was freaking out. She was mad at Sam, she hated Ryan, she couldn’t believe anything but that was the truth. So she had to face it.

Damien Logan, a ruthless billionaire, is used to control and power. But his life is shaken after a one-night stand with a mysterious woman, Ariana. When he wakes up to find her gone, he assumes they’ll never meet again until fate steps in. Struggling with debt and the loss of her job, Ariana unexpectedly finds herself back in Damien's world. Faced with his grandfather’s demand to marry a woman of his choosing, Damien comes up with a bold plan: a marriage contract with Ariana. In exchange for pretending to be his wife, she’ll get the financial stability she needs. Reluctantly, Ariana agrees, stepping into a life of wealth and lies. But as their fake marriage goes on, their walls start to crack. The line between pretending and real feelings starts to blur. Secrets and insecurities threaten to ruin everything. Can a love built on a lie survive, or will their contract end before they find each other’s hearts?

Who would show up? When are they going to appear? What do they desire? Maya Asher has just turned twenty three in the year 2023... Thomas Roman was reborn in the year 1919. He become a watchful vampire guardian. He had been Maya Asher 's guardian since the moment of her birth, watching from between realities. Trying to remain unnoticed but bound by a blood oath. Their love wil be tested from the moment of that electrifying touch...that magical kiss...

A storm. A wrong turn. A stranger in the dark.Elara Voss has spent her life hiding the fever that burns through her once a year ,a desperate, shameful hunger she’s never understood. One blood-moon night, it drives her deep into forbidden mountains… and straight into the path of a man who looks at her like prey.Kai Blackthorn doesn’t do gentle. He’s all hard muscle, silver eyes, and raw command. The second he breathes her in, something primal snaps inside him. One touch, one taste, and he’s lost,claiming her body against his cabin walls, on the rug by the fire, in his bed until dawn, in ways she’s never even fantasized about.She flees before sunrise, convinced it was a reckless mistake she can bury forever.But some mistakes have consequences.Three months later, Elara’s quiet new life begins to unravel… and Kai has never stopped hunting the woman whose scent is branded on his soul.He’s coming for her. And this time, he won’t let her run.