You Re So Old Jokes One Liners Novels & Stories

The jolt of electricity that surged through my arm and into the rest of my body at the way he grabbed my wrist, brought me back to the first day he touched my arm in high school. Quickly, ridding the memory away before my mind has the chance to relive how the rest of that day went, I decided to tease him back. "I know a guy with a little dick that sounds like an owl," I say, hoping I get the response I need to not look like an insane person right now. He raises his brow, this thumbs thrumming against the steering wheel. "Huh? Who?" "Exactly," I smirk, silently exhaling in relief at his answer so that I was able to finish the lame joke.

, He asked another question instead of replying to the question which I had asked before. . I shrugged my shoulder. “Just to know how old are you?”, I replied casually and waited for his answer this time. He remained silent for a while until he finally replied. . “Old.” . Well, what kind of reply was that? “Old?”, I asked, to which he nodded still having a serious expression on his face. “Old enough to be my father?”, I teased him. . “Nope.”, He replied with a smile. “Old enough to be your great great great great great grandfather.”, He replied, giving me a naughty smile. I laughed at his joke and he smiled a little more seeing me laughing.

How could I be expected to remember he was only my fake boyfriend when he told me I was beautiful right before nearly slamming the door in my face yet again? “Hannah?” Lincoln’s voice jolted me from my thoughts. I was trying to remember some jokes from when I used to babysit in high school for extra cash, but so far all I had was “knock-knock.” I couldn’t remember the rest, which was truly sad since there were like a million knock-knock jokes to choose from. “Sorry, what?” He twisted the side of his lips up, probably amused that it was me messing up the conversation now. “I just asked if you were ready to go in.”

He teased, even having the audacity to ruffle my hair. "I'm aware of that, Oldielocks." I rolled my eyes. "If I'm not mistaken, you should be retired now, or we should all be coming to your funeral." He let out a boisterous laughter at my remarks, making some of his Deltas widen their eyes in surprise. I bet they never thought he had a sense of humor. "Oh...that never gets old." He said, wiping some tears from his eyes. "I bet Nolan would have found this hilarious." ...and here we go again.

And you should laugh when someone older than you cracks a joke. Me Yeah, one week old. Such a long time. Joey Hey, one week is a lot of time. And it doesn't change the fact that I'm the older one. Me Yeah, whatever. Goodnight. I hope your plane crashes only for you to survive with an itch all over your body. Joey Ouch, that hurt! But your wish won't be fulfilled. Goodnight Apple pie;) Great, just great now there would be Joey too to drill holes into my Brain. How can one sleep in such a situation? Tips, please. __

I muttered sarcastically, in return I was poked in the ribs by him. "Hey, don't do that." "Don't call me grandpa. Ever." "Why grandpa ?" I teased. "I am not, take that back." "I don't believe you. You are an old man. In fact you were an old man since high school." I replied while giggling like a school girl, Unfortunately my best friend wasn't a strong guy like others but he was genius when it came to studies. Typical nerd. "You know I wonder what Rehana saw in you as she agreed to marry such an old man." I continue to tease.

“Though I suppose at my age I should be grateful anyone still thinks I’m capable of creeping anywhere. These old bones announce me long before I arrive most nights.” The dry little joke caught me off guard and pulled an unexpected huff of laughter out of me. “You move quieter than most people half your age,” I told her, shaking my head as the tension in my shoulders finally began to ease. “I think you just have practice at being invisible when you want to be.”

“Now. The laugh. I heard you yesterday, when you thought no one was listening. It’s too high.” He stopped in front of me, tapping his own chest. “Elion’s was deeper. From here.” The gesture was intimate. Unexpected. I flinched. His jaw tightened instantly. “Try again,” he said. “I’ll tell you a joke. It’s a terrible one. Elion hated it.” He told it anyway... something painfully unfunny involving a squirrel and a priest. I forced out a weak chuckle, the sound thin and hollow. “No.” The word cracked like a whip.

“I bet Az didn’t let you live that one down.” His head fell forward with a groan, “He made the same owl joke for months. ‘I heard someone in this packhouse was impersonating an owl,’” “Nooooo,” my lips pulled between my teeth as I stifled a laugh having heard that joke. “Oh yes. He got me every single time,” Finn chuckled, shaking his head. “I’d love to see photos of the two of you when you were young,” I leaned my head on his shoulder. “I’ll have to ask my mom,” Finn whispered.

“Because they’re assholes with no lives. Don’t read it anymore." But I couldn’t stop, I refreshed my feed wanting to see more, both sides were debating about us. One side posted: “They’ve been through hell. Let them be happy, leave them alone.” Replies: “Hell they caused it for themselves, she's a old hag preying on younger rich guys.” Age shaming jokes were everywhere, me being older and Xander the “poor naive kid.” Cassandra’s name was trending too: “Justice for Cassandra! She warned us about Olivia.”