Your Momma Jokes Novels & Stories

I screamed at Mom, "What is wrong with you? I've told you over and over to stop running your mouth! Can't you think before you speak? Will you only be happy when you've gotten me shunned and abandoned by everyone?" Seeing me completely lose it, Mom lowered her voice considerably. "I didn't know she'd get upset. All I did was tell her the truth—who knew she'd be so petty?" Dad was angry too. He reprimanded Mom loudly, "Don't you know there's a time and place for telling the truth? You speak without any regard for who you're talking to or what the occasion calls for. Instead, you just blurt out whatever pops into your head! There's something seriously wrong with you."

Yes, and the fact that I was married before. “I know, it's just, oh, it shows how old we are getting!” “Babe, forty-eight aren't old. Now look on the bright side; at least we have a few more children to get through school before they get married.” Dad laughed but mom didn't find it funny. She was acting a bit strange these past few weeks. Making me wonder what is going on with her. Mom glared at dad, “You think you are funny? Well, let's see if you like this joke, daddy, to be!”

Dad asks with a broad smile. Is this some joke to him? "Uh... My dad was a sick asshole who killed my mom and left us for dead." The table falls in silence. I laugh. "Forgive my dark sense of humor. Just joking..." They all laugh but my dad doesn't move a jaw. He's still, staring at me intently. I sip the red wine. "My mom was a great woman. But being a great woman didn't stop her from falling for a monster. He was the death of her."

I groaned. “Mom, I’m really not in the mood for jokes. It was a long drive and I’m getting a killer headache.” “Because you are drinking too much,” she mumbled. Darting my line of vision to her I wanted to talk back. ‘Well you offered,’ my subconscious screamed. “This isn’t a joke,” Justin now had a thick accent like he was from bloody England. Ha, see what I did there? “Mother,” I chastised which had my Mom standing up. She gave me the same stare when she caught me coming home at 5 a.m. hanging out with my friends and soap bombing the town’s water fountain. “What?” I fiend innocence.

Their songs about pack life and full moons always made me feel like I belonged somewhere, even if our real life was kinda crappy. Me and Lucas shared a little joke before we said goodbye to our mom, Dottie. She was in the kitchen, stirring some soup that smelled like old vegetables. “You two behave out there,” she said, her voice tired but with a small smile. She worked two jobs just to keep the lights on, and her fur was starting to gray around the edges from all the stress. Lucas leaned in and whispered to me, “Hey, Hazel, what do you call a wolf who’s bad at hunting? A ‘howl’-failure!” I giggled, even though it was dumb. It was our thing—stupid jokes to lighten the mood. We hugged Mom tig

“Speaking of Dad. Where is he? I haven’t heard his voice since we’ve been on this call.” “It’s poker night so your dad is out with his friends,” she replied. “Oh, I totally forgot that still happened,” I said. “Yeah, you know old people and their habits.” “Mom, you guys are not old.” “I don’t feel twenty anymore,” she countered. “That’s because you’re not twenty, but y’all aren’t even close to old,” I replied, a hint of my Southern accent obvious in my words. “That’s my southern belle,” Mom said. “Good to know that New York hasn’t completely eliminated everything about you.”

"I have a sense of humor, thank you very much. I just don't find your fart jokes funny." Felecia snickered. "Everyone likes a fart joke, Moana." Harper waved his fork at Kelsey. "I don't care who you are. Fart jokes are classic." "Stop calling me Moana." Kelsey rolled her eyes. "They're disgusting." "You're disgusting." "Your mom's disgusting." Jamie's brows shot up and he covered his mouth with a fist. "Oh." "Now who is being immature?" Harper's grin only widened. "Your mom jokes are classic. Everyone knows that." Kelsey waved her hand.

It was one of her comfort potions whenever she had dysmenorrhea, or whenever she was stressed. "Mom, you do realize that I'm already a family man now, right?" Ira chuckled, yanking his mother's hand away from his face. "Please stop squeezing my cheek as if I'm still your five-year-old errand boy." "I know, I know," said Helena, tapping his jaw gently. "Nice to see you again, Miguel," his father greeted him, too. That was the latter's pet name for Ira. "Hey, dad. I'm sorry we came late for the family breakfast."

He said, adjusting his glasses. " Oh! Of course! You're baby! Bookworm took it as an offence." I sarcastically snapped in a mocking tone. " My daughter is kidding," Momma said, forcing a smile on her face. " I hate this mocking stuff." Mrs Sood grimaced as stared at me. " I'm not kidding. " I snapped. " Shut up! Lovey. He is a good person. You'll be happy with him." Momma got annoyed. I was angry too.

She said as she pulled me in for a hug. “I thought I'd surprise you guys,” I replied while trying to breathe. “Mom look who's here,” My mom shouted through the house. “If it's that Mrs. Jones from down the street, tell her I don't give a rats ass if the dog shit in her garden again,” my nana shouted in reply. I giggled as my mom quickly pulled me into the house and slammed the door behind me. “Mom, shh, the whole neighborhood can hear you!” My mom shouted with embarrassment in her voice.