Your Momma So Dumb Jokes Novels & Stories

Mom stepped out on the deck next, her eyes honing in on my girl. "Dad's ogling my baby." "Ooh, Jace is that your new girl? She's gorgeous, smoking hot. Way to go son, nice trade, a definite improvement from the last one. That last one looked like horse food." She was no help, but why would I expect anything different? "Mom how do you know what horse food looks like?" "Or any food for that matter?" Dad got a slap behind the head for that one. Mom is the world's worst cook hands down.

Val gave an apologetic smile and sipped from her glass of coke. “We wouldn’t need to say it out loud because the amount of fat in these would literally kill us one day.” Zia scoffed, grabbing a bite of lasagna, and then pushed her palms out, seeing Mamma take a step in her direction. “Mamma, I’m just joking.” “Why do you eat it when you have to complain?” “It’s not like I can puke everything out now.” “Then stop puking stupid words.” Val and I could barely contain our laughter, the sounds, which according to my Mamma, were too unladylike, but little did we care. The ringing cell in Mamma’s apron pocket interrupted us. Mamma pulled it out and her brows creased.

“Ok, mom.” “What? Did I hear you say mom again?” Jina shakes her body amusingly as she severs into a loud sarcastic chuckle. Esther didn’t find anything amusing about what she had just said. There was nothing wrong with referring to her maternal aunt as a mom. She looked at Jina with a bemused expression on her face as the latter laughed her heart out in an offbeat manner. She reiterated the word mom often and elicited a toothy grin now and again. When she had satisfied herself with her present enchantment, her countenance changed immediately and she spoke vigorously and with much arrogance.

Elaine felt that his compliment had an implicit meaning to it. ‘Dad doesn’t like it when women are too smart. Mom is the best example. She’s someone that won’t hide her emotions and speak frankly about everything. That’s why Dad always says that Mom doesn’t have what it takes to be someone’s wife. ‘However, the funny thing is, men don’t like smart women, but they like smart women who know how to play dumb.’ She asked, “Are you telling me that you’re not praising me with an ulterior motive?”

She touched the side of my face and caressed softly, "If he is not the one. Then he was never meant to be the one. Everything happens for a reason." "Even a rejection?" I whispered softly. "Especially a rejection!" she smiled, "What if he is some kind of dumb idiot who treated you like garbage? What if he is the one who is not right for you, instead of you being wrong for him? Oh my..." she dramatically leaned in to whisper, "What if he has the thing down there between his legs the size of my pinky?" I immediately burst out in laughter through my tears. My mother was never the adult joke kind of mom. Listening those words out of her mouth was so damn hilarious.

"Xavier, what happened to you? Your mom just wanted to borrow your house for your brother's wedding. If you didn't want to help, fine. But calling the cops and having them arrested? "Your mother and I worked so hard to raise you. We never asked for anything in return. But this is how you repay us?" Just as he expected, people around us started whispering. "He had his own mother arrested? What kind of son does that?" "I can't believe it. What an ungrateful brat. His parents wasted their time raising him." "Look at him. Cold as ice. You'd be better off raising a dog than a son like that."

An old white woman had rolled down her window and told Momma that she was going the wrong way. She had become enraged. Momma had actually stopped her car in order to cuss out the older woman, proclaiming that she wasn't stupid, she could read, that the woman wasn't the exit police…Juicy had just watched from her passenger seat in wide-eyed disbelief that her Mother had reacted so strongly. Once they had sped off, Momma had mumbled to herself that white people always thought blacks were stupid.

Maybe the feeling that I knew she was right She was so fucking right. “Can't believe you'd make such a dumb mistake, Emma!” She continued, at that point, it felt like she was just venting on me for external reasons. She sounded so mad, so livid. “If that was how I let niggas pop babies into me, I'd have my own football team by now.” Like how shitty and stupid I already felt wasn't enough, my mom, as always, made me feel dumb. I felt like that stupid young girl that was always told what to do and what to not.

mum tells her and her frown gets wider than before Gee thanks mum, now maybe I might get a prayer or two. I don't know why I'm just so out of it today. " Oh that must hurt a lot. doesn't it ? " she asks Are you dumb, can a bruise or a bump this big be so comforting or comfortable. of course it hurts " No it doesn't. in fact I feel so good " I say sarcastically and the woman shows anger. " Kids " mum says trying to joke to get her friend to forget what I had said but not that I care.

And blessing that one day I’ll run the fucking world with, if I ever get out of this hell. Some of you must be wondering why or how I can make jokes at a time like this when I might possibly have a cracked rib or two and a small cut above my left eye and well the answers simple really my mom always used to say "Demi no matter what happens in life take it and use it to push you, don't ever let someone break you, show them what they want to see, deception is a very powerful tool that over time you'll learn to use it to your advantage" Smart woman my mom she was a hard worker who always had a smile on her face and never let anyone see her fall.