Your Momma So Dumb Jokes Novels & Stories

“I’d like to talk to her, but she told me she doesn’t want to talk to me. Has she changed her mind?” “She told my grandma she wants to talk to you but she doesn’t know how. I think that’s dumb, because all you need to do is push your name to call you. Look, I did it, and I’m talking to you. Moms are stupid.” James let out a deep sigh. “Your mom isn’t stupid. Being an adult means things can get complicated.” Harrison inhaled. “Did your mom really say that to your grandma?” And am I really getting love advice from a first grader? Talk about desperate.

one can resist love's pull," he finished, smiling knowingly at me, to which I shot him a small smile of my own in return. "Not even my super smart son. god, how'd you get so smart? I'm sure you didn't get it from me though; my reports cards were always swimming with F's." He gave a hearty laugh as he spoke, and I chucked. "Maybe I got it from mum," I offered. "Well," he drawled. "Well what, Jeff Andrew Moose?" Someone was screwed. Mum crossed her arms, eyeing him down while he just gave a shaky laugh. "Well, Berry Blast, I mean, he must have gotten it from you because you're my super smart wife." "Oh, yeah?" She asked, mauling him with her wooden spoon, with dad giving exaggerated cr

Her hands were in the air. “Since all you know how to do is to stay dumb, remain dumb, and enjoy being dumb. What is your problem, huh? You only know how to make your mother satisfied, not anyone else. She always does the wrong thing yet you support her. “Watch your tongue. My mother is always right. She’s old and knows life more than you. She knows how to handle situations like this unlike you who are acting all too childish and goofy.”

"You know what mom, get out." "Hey, don't be like that Lucy, I know you better than anyone else. You can't be mad because you found out that a guy is a certain way. There must be a certain benefit attached to the guy that you've not received isn't it?" She nudged me and gave me a certain eye wink which irritated me further. "You know you look dumb right now mom," Mom looked stupefied but I couldn't clear less at the moment. "Lucy…" "If you want to be dumb don't do it while I'm here, so please, leave me alone!"

"We've been talking about it for years, you know that." "Yes, I know." "I'm asking, seriously, why do you hate her so much?" Mom sighed. "I don't hate her." "Then what is it?" "It's dumb. In my day, people didn't date like they do now." I thought about how Jules dated. "What? You mean because she hooks up with girls sometimes?" Mom flushed a deep red. "I told you it was dumb, just forget I said anything." I was utterly confused. "What does that have to do with me?" Mom didn't say anything. "Do you think I'm going to catch the gay from her or something?"

" I gripped the phone, barely holding back laughter. Since we started going out, Seth had always known just how to charm my mom with little gifts and money. She saw him as some kind of hero and would always tell me to stay in line. She must have gotten some kind of sweet deal to rush over and play peacemaker without even bothering to ask what the whole mess was about. I kept my cool, did not bother with excuses or arguments, and just waited for her to run out of steam before I ended the call. The phone screen was still glowing when I hit up the client group chat and dropped the bomb. [Hey everyone, I'm thinking of leaving Hoffman Real Estate. If you need anything property-related down the li

"It's rather interesting to see how much joy cheap candy can bring to a scary woman like her." By that time Mom was munching on the bar, which limited her vocal abilities, but the hard slap on Dad's back said more than words ever could to the point that I had to laugh at the expressions of both of them. "I knew you wouldn't budge," she said after she drank Dad's water. "Stubborn as a rotting old donkey, you are." "Turns out you're a lot like your mom, Ash," Dad added. A chuckle escaped my mouth. Mom once again hit him, harder this time, making him wince slightly, though putting on a smug face, it showed that the pain had been worth it.

I knew immediately that I had to help mom; that any resolution might appear harsh to anyone who had not seen these recordings. As for that vignette, it ended with the young punk having dad put mom on his desk; he proceeded to fuck her with amazing ferocity and speed; the fact that he pulled out and all he could tinkle was four pathetic drops was amazing. She didn't need the pill and a diaphragm for THAT dude. When I replayed the DVD another time, with headphones this time, I actually heard mom 'coo' sarcastically to her old man that this young punk had come with twice the spend that he (dad) produced. Wow, what a wimp dad was if this guy's joke-like four droplets put him to shame.

I said with a nervous laugh, as I scratched the back of my neck. ‎Mom let out a sigh. “Cleopatra give it a rest will you? Even if that was the case, you wouldn't be the one tricked, considering you are the bad twin,” She said nonchalantly, and I had to agree. ‎In those movies, the female lead is smart, she could cook, she is so adorable. I couldn't possibly pass for one, considering how incompetent I am at everything. ‎“You're probably right mom. I pretty much the useless one,” I said with a small laugh, those were the only few words she told me over the years and honestly now I am admitting it, even though it hurts.

I murmur, looking through the stuff, "Half of this won't make it past my ass." "Hey, I love your ass," Leo rushes to say, but his mom gasps so he makes a grimace, realizing what he said in front of her, "That was a joke." "Don't be crass, especially not in front of other people," she chastises him, "You are definitely not fat, Jolene and I'm sure we'll find something you love in your size." Huh. My mom would've called me an obese whale by now, but I guess not all moms are the same.