Your So Dumb Jokes Novels & Stories

I shook my head, "no... no... you don't get to..you can now go back to your amazing comedian friends and forget this confused hated prick.." "Precious they didn't mean what they were saying okay. They were just making jokes..." "Making ME a fucken joke.. that's what they were doing.. that's what YOU were doing. I'm a fucken joke to you... my life is a joke to you. I don't get you.. I swear to God I do not get you at all." "Your ankle is swelling please let me just..."

"Neither do I." "So don't do something dumb," Justine said dismissively. "And things will get better." "Stupid in what way? Are you capturing alive rottens for some lunatic researcher to experiment on?" Peter inquired; his brow furrowed. "You better stop being a savvy ass here now, guy," Justine said, beaming. "Better to be a clever one than a foolish one," they both joked as they smiled at each other, and I felt much better about our predicament.

This is Geology for god’s sake and not a fucking pickup line class or dumb forums for dumb boys. Valentine is a clear shot joke! In the end, I have to answer all five of the questions on my own, to the best of my ability with my independent brain, and my own stock knowledge and my trembling hand and my own damn sleepy eyes. Valentine was just there sitting right in front of me playing something on his phone. He’s so insensitive and rude and handsome, and above all of that, he was a dull, stupid fatuous person.

" Ian frowned at the question. Ian (8:15 pm) : What kind stupid question are you asking? Irritating Twat (8:16 pm) : Don't know the answer? Ian (8:16 pm): No. Irritating Twat (8:17 pm) : Because it is made out of cells! Haha! Ian gaped at the message for a long time before a small laugh escaped his mouth. The joke was really lame but it was funny.

Oh my God, this is so abso-fucking-massively cool, as massive as an elephant's balls: I found the vampire's weakness. "Aww, you want him to call you his daddy, don't you?" I wiggle my eyebrows and glance over my shoulder to wink at the man who wants to kill me about a thousand times more than he wanted when he arrived. "Come on, be a big boy, DeAmes, grip your big boy panties and call the blood sponge your daddy; he's waiting." Side note: these three are fucking boring. I'm on the roll today, delivering the best jokes ever, and none of them acknowledges my effort. Fucking boomers.

Because I am a lunatic. Because I’m losing my mind here. [Yesterday, 6:02 PM] Look, if this is about that STUPID fucking joke yesterday—I’m sorry. No, I’m beyond sorry. Like, I deserve to be kicked in the throat levels of sorry. I didn’t mean it, okay? I wasn’t thinking. I was being a dumbass. [Yesterday, 6:04 PM] You didn’t even say anything to me directly about liking him— I heard it from someone else and I still made a joke out of it like a jackass.

He grins. “One moment they are ‘fuck you youngest child’ and in the next they want us to produce the next population of the country. It’s like ‘make up your mind will ya? Are we important or not?’”, He continues joking, eyes lighting up when he hears me chuckle a second time. “Yeah, literally”, I agree, having to lower my eyes. I feel far too ashamed. I not only chuckled at one of his jokes, but at two of them. And I did so because I actually found them funny.

Joker shakes his head no and looks away, and just like that, the subject is dropped. “Pizza is safe, right?” I said, questioning everything at this point. “What are you brain damaged?” Jack asked snarkily. “I just said that one of the only numbers in her phone was a pizzeria. That's it. This settles it; having a kid for sure lowers your IQ.” “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Queenie snaps at Jack. “The man has had his life flipped upside down, making him stupid, but you don’t have to point it out, asshole!”

"Just because I tell you to kill yourself doesn't mean you should do it! Are you dumb?!" At that moment I noticed something. I'm actually an asshole.

I’ve seen that from last night through this morning. “I think your brain is clogged from lack of air, we say congratulations.” I help him out, my fingers massaging his scalp when I know fairly well it isn’t going to make him feel any better. “For someone rumored to be so fucking smart, you’re quite dumb.” I tug harder and he coughs, his laugh coming out choked. “No offense of course, you’re a bit touchy I see.” “What are you talking about?” I ask, referring to the first thing he said. He laughed again, this time it came out clearer as I released him.