Your So Ugly Jokes Novels & Stories

Then someone in the crowd sneered, their voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, that must be Sophia's sugar daddy. Showed up to defend her. She's not picky, is she. She'll take a guy in his fifties." The crowd erupted. Some covered their mouths, laughing. Others joined in openly. "Yeah, I heard she doesn't care about age. Maybe this old man's a regular too." The dean's expression tightened. He turned sharply toward the crowd. "All of you–shut your mouths!" He glanced at my injuries, his voice urgent.

I laughed, knowing that I had hit a sensitive spot. But then, Sophia suddenly looked up at me, a sly grin spreading across her face. "Actually, my ex-husband was a cheapskate," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "He took me to the most luxurious place he could afford... the McD*nald's drive-thru." I burst out laughing, unable to contain my amusement. Sophia's joke was hilarious, and I was impressed by her quick wit. As I laughed, Sophia smiled, looking pleased with herself. "I'm glad I could make you laugh," she said, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

I asked, "So, Miss. How is it going with the Dark humour guy? Any update so far?" "HA! Dark humour! He's the funniest guy, I've ever met. Didn't you hear that line of him? I mean he called himself motherfucker; oh my, that's the kind of humour I love. Every time he cracks a joke, it makes me head over heels for him. And not forget his awkwardness around girls" the sarcasm was dripping from her mouth. But that changed my mood. And we both started chuckling, "He's not that bad!" I exclaimed. Right? He's not that bad.

I know that he is thinking about something bad, so I decide to say something that will make him divert from his original thoughts. “Don't be stupid Michael, of course he knows that I'm ugly and he love me because of it, and by the way you should really stop trying to bully me, you know in 2 days time you won't be qualify to use the same toilets that are I use." I said proudly and stood up from the couch. “Both of you should be lucky that I didn't tell Killian all you have been doing to me in this house else you would have been rotting in jail for life.” I added before making my way upstairs.

he added, glaring straight at me, “stop spreading lies about what never happened before I make you regret.” He turned and stormed out. The silence didn't last long. They all began to laugh, even much louder this time. A crumpled paper hit my shoulder. “You heard him,” a guy said. “You are so pathetic and ugly.” I couldn't say a word to defend myself. Susan appeared like a storm. “ Even if it's true, so what? What's your business?” she snapped, glaring at everyone. I don't know if I should feel better or not because of her actions. I'm already ashamed of myself.

"Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology." "Why don't you slip into something comfortable, like a coma." "Shock me, say something intelligent." "You are so fat when you wear a yellow coat, people scream 'taxi'" "Why don't you shut up and give that hole in your face a chance to heal." "You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back!" "Fine! I quit, you win. Anyhow, we are going for some ice cream." Jake, at last, commits to his failure.

"And what are you apologizing for? Trying to make your waist seem skinnier? It's sad, really. I bet you came here with one goal: to seduce rich men." The humiliation was a hot, sharp blade. People started to turn, their whispers growing louder. My face flushed, and I felt a familiar, unwelcome heat behind my eyes. “There’s no need to be rude.” I spoke, my voice low but loud enough for him to hear. “Rude?” he scoffed and took a step closer to me. “I’ll show you rude.” he grabbed me. “You know, you’re actually not ugly. A bit chunky. But…” his head tilted to take a gander at my backside. “You do have a nice ass.” He reached his hand out to slap my butt. “How much for one night?”

“They deify you, and you are a devil.” “Yes, of course, of the worst kind, and I don't think I'm unattainable or that I have it in gold. I remember a saying of my grandfather's that says ´both the pretty and the ugly also poop and pee.”. “Lol is a very funny friend, but that doesn't mean that you have to go around the street like a hunter looking for a prey that satisfies your crazy desires, and besides, the poor guy would surely fall in love, and you would throw him away after a week, like you do with everyone else.”

an ''he stuttered already pulling down his pants'' I opened his filthy boxer And before he knew it, i already pepper sprayed his d**k and his eyes I took to my heels as his loud screams echoed through the alley ''Hey don't look at me like that, i did say he'll cry'' That'll teach him never to mess with me again This is what i should have done to mr ugly Stupid handsome man!! Gosh isabelle stop saying his handsome, he's Ugly! Ugly!

" Ugly mannequin " " Have you ever seen one? " He asks with a sneer on his face " Try melting one and you'll know " " Idiot " he mutter standing up straight. " Just wanted to tell you that I'd odered food and it's already in the sitting room so if you like starve and if you like don't starve. I don't care what happens to you either " " You know something? I wanted to tell you that you'd finally had sense but you just had to spoil somehow. Can't blame you any ways it's just not my fault you're like that "