Anakku Bukan Anakku

My heart is beating wildly as I stand next to the lake.

I should be confident. But a part of me is terrified.

There's still a few minutes left and I close my eyes, trying to steady my breathing.

Opening my eyes, I gaze at my reflection in the water, "You can do this. It's in your blood. Once you transform, you and Hunter can be together.”

Hunter Cage.

The Alpha of Stone Wolves.

My childhood friend and my fiancé.

The thought of the man waiting back at the den for me gives me some courage. I'm usually quite brave but for some reason, I can feel my hands trembling. Everything depends on this moment.

My eyes fall on my tense face. My vcs is a dull silver and my eyes a dark blue. Nobody in the pack resembles me, not even my own parents.

I have always been an oddity in the back even though my parents tried their best to shower me with love.

I curl my hands into fists, focusing on the reflection of the moon in the water. The minute it hits the small rock in the center, the transformation should hit me.

Everyone describes the shift as different. In the beginning, it's supposed to hurt and then the second time you shift, there's no pain, just release from the human skin.

And then I see it.

It’s time.

And just as if my body knows, a crippling pain overtakes me and I let out a howl of agony. The pain is focused in my center and I fall to my knees, whimpering, “Oh, God!”

Nobody said it would this bad!

I'm on my hands and knees, my fingers digging into the dust, as I wait for my bones to break and shift. But the pain intensifies and I hear nothing.

I grind my teeth and scream out in frustration, trying to hurry up the process.

Transform, damn you, I scream internally.

I strain my body again, screaming, the urgency catching up to me. The pain intensifies in for a moment, I feel a ripple in my spine. I arch my back, the warmth of hope building up in me.

But the ripple stops and once again, I’m left like this.

“No, no, no,” I gasp, sweat flowing down my face. “I - I have to try again. I nearly have it!”

I howl, blinded from the spasms of agony inside me but this time, I feel no ripple.

I scramble towards the water.

“You can’t do this to me!” I scream, slashing into the water at my unchanged reflection.

The blood keeps pouring from my nose as I push and push, crying and begging for something. And then when I look up, my blood grows cold.

It’s gone.

The time has passed.

The reflection of the moon is no longer being obscured by the rock.

I lean back on my haunches, feeling hollow inside.

The shift never came to me.

I can’t transform.

And if I can’t transform - The horror that fills me takes my breath away.

What is going to happen to me now? What will my pack do to me?

Just then, I hear the snapping of a twig.

My tear stained face whirls around and I see the familiar face of my best friend.

The girl is a stunning blonde with red eyes.

“Valerie,” I whisper, hoarsely, my heart in my throat at the sight of her. Why are you here?”

“You didn’t shift,” Her eyes are wide and filled with a malicious glee.

“You don’t know-“ my sharp eyes catch a silver simmer on the edge of her fingers. It’s only visible because her hand is submerged in the shadows.

My angry words died down as a sick feeling intensifies in my stomach.

The only thing that I know to leave such a stain is Wolfsbane-esque formula.

Not wanting to believe it, I lift my gaze towards her face. The knowing look of ruthless satisfaction in her eyes tells me all I want to know.

“What did you do?” I ask in horror.

No wolf would do that to a member of their pack.

Let alone my own childhood friend?

She gives me her sweet, harmless smile which is so familiar to me, “I did you a favor, Sarah. I did this whole pack of favor. You’re not worthy of standing next to Hunter.”

My insides are churning with the pain of this betrayal.

“You used wolfsbane on me,” I mumble, staring at her in horror.

She just smiles at me, “I don’t know why you’re so surprised. You knew I was in love with Hunter.”

“W-What?” I try to scramble to my feet. “what are you talking about?! Hunter is my fiancé!”

“Was,” Valerie corrects, gently, as if talking to a child. “He was your fiancé. Once he finds out that you can’t shift, I’ll have to be his mate. You’re not even a wolf anymore.”

And then it hits me.

She doesn’t just want to steal Hunter from me. She wants me thrown out from the pack.

I need proof.

Which proof, I can still save my relationship.

I don’t hesitate, breaking into a run.

I can hear Valerie chase after me and I push past the door of the den, ignoring the few passing packmates. Valerie’s room is in the living portion and I burst into it.

The smell of wolfsbane is distinct.

I know what it smells like.

I look around and jump towards the dresser.

I’ve just opened the first drawer when I feel Valerie grab me and throw me to the side.

My head smashes against the wooden bed and I feel dazed, watching as she takes out a small vial which is nearly empty.

To my utter horror, even as I rush towards her, she smashes it on the ground and kicks me away.

“No!” I scramble toward the broken glass, horror filling me.

“They will never believe you!” She taunts, out of breath, a vicious smile on her face. “You have no proof!”

“The scent doesn’t –“

She slices her arm without hesitation, keeping eye contact with me, triumph in the cruel red of her gaze, “My blood will cover any scent and you’re going to get punished for harming me.”

My eyes widen in horror.