Cinta yang Telah Menjadi Masa Lalu

I exhaled the last smoke I smoked from the cigarette I was holding while looking up to watch the stars. I looked down at the cigarette I was holding and then shook it before sighing. I immediately looked for the trash can to throw it there. I'm not overthinking but I'm just very stressed right now and I think that's the only way to reduce the stress I'm feeling right now. 

 I lost one of my patients today. I did everything I could but there was nothing because that was all his life could handle. As a doctor, it is very heartbreaking to lose a patient, I feel that I have not fulfilled my duty. Add to that the feeling of parents losing their child. It's so heartbreaking and I know the feeling of losing a child because I've experienced something like that.

I took a deep breath and immediately went straight to the trash. I'm out of the house today because I don't want to spoil my sister's party. I left my friends there for a while because I also wanted to be alone.

"Don't blame yourself, Eli. It's their faith," I whispered to myself when I threw the cigarette in the trash.

I was about to go back inside the house when I saw something as if someone was hiding on the side of the plant next to our big wall outside. I turned around and saw someone even though it was dark there. I felt nervous but my curiosity prevailed to see who it was.

I walked towards it but it immediately turned around and walked quickly. It has a black jacket and a black cap. I don't know why he was there on the side of our gate as if watching us so I want to know what his purpose is and who he is.

"Hey!" I called as I followed it. 

I don't know why I'm following him but I don't feel any fear now.

"Wait! Who are you? What are you doing outside our house?" I asked one question after another as he continued to walk. 

"Who are you?!" I asked again with my louder voice. 

When I saw that he slowed down, I also slowed down. When he finally stopped, he remained to turn his back on me, which is why I felt scared right then but I forced myself to be brave. 

"Who are you?" I asked him again. 

I reassured myself when I saw him slowly facing me. When I saw his face, I was stunned and stood there for a moment.

"D-Dad?" I asked while stuttering. 

I immediately shook my head. My father is already dead thirteen years ago and I witnessed how he was buried on his grave. He died because of a car accident so what I see now is not right. I shook my head because maybe I'm so stressed that I'm hallucinating now. I rubbed my eyes because the alcohol I drank earlier might have hit me too. 

When I finished rubbing my eyes, I looked at the man in front of me again but his appearance did not change. I still see Daddy's face. 

"What the hell is happening to me?" I asked myself then I patted both cheeks.

"What you see now is right," said the man in front of me.

My heart pounded when I heard that even my father's voice was just like his. There were tears in the corner of my eyes because I couldn't deny that I miss that voice. If what's happening to me right now is just a dream, I hope I don't wake up. 

"This is not true. This is just a dream but.." 

I couldn't finish what I was going to say because I immediately came to him to hug him tightly. I missed him so much. Daddy rarely appears in my dreams so he will make the most of it today. Maybe he knows what I'm going through now so he visited me in my dream.

"Hijah, wait. I'm not your father," he said to me then immediately pushed me away from him. 

I frowned at him and shook my head. I watched him closely and it looked like what was happening now was real and not a dream. 

"I know you will be surprised when you see me but I am not Adie," he said. 

I shook my head and swallowed because I couldn't understand what he was saying to me. "I'm his long-lost twin brother. 

"Your mother doesn't have any idea about me. I've been watching you for a long time and looking for a time to show you because my conscience can't take it anymore," he continued explaining to me.

It's like I can't believe what I'm hearing from him. Daddy doesn't even mention anything to us about his siblings. All we know is that he no longer has family, so what I know now is surprising.

I rubbed my forehead again, "Conscience? What for?" I asked.

"I know it's been a year, but I know you also got in trouble from the mess I made before. I also felt bad especially for you, Eliana. That's why I want to pay for everything," he said with a serious voice. 

"Wait.. what are you talking about? I don't understand everything. W-What did you do that made you feel sorry for me?" I asked because my mind was confused.

"Just wait for the news and then you will know everything. Eliana, you are my brother's daughter and I am begging you not to tell your mommy what you found out now. Please wait for me to introduce myself and show him as well as your siblings," he said that causing me to nod. 

I feel that he is telling the truth that he's my father's twin brother because he looks so much like him. The only thing I didn't understand was what he was saying, which made my mind even more troubled.

"My gosh Eli, where have you been?! We were all worried about you!" My sister got hysterical when I came back. 

"I'm sorry. I-I just talked to my ex," I said as an excuse.

When I came back earlier, my eldest sister, Allison was with other maids and guards and it looks like they checked the CCTV because they asked who that man was. They said that they had been noticing for a long time that it seemed to be hovering around the house and that they were afraid of it. 

"Ex? Do you mean, Stefan? And why would Stefan come here?" Allison asked one after another.

I shook my head before I talk.

"No. That's my ex-fling and that I ghosted three months ago that's why he's visiting me now. He's shy to show himself so he's looking for a time to talk to me" I lied. 

It's a good thing that Allison didn't ask about it that's why I asked her not to tell our mother and my friends because I don't want to talk about it anymore. Even if I wanted to tell them what I found out right away, I couldn't because I was keeping the conversation.

In the following days, I asked my mother if she knew my father's brother or other siblings. She told me that she knew one of my father's brothers, but he hadn't shown up in a long time since they were young. Se didn't mention to me that my father's brother that we're talking about was his twin.

I've been thinking about what I found out for a few days even at work and that's why I've been always focused on the news but I can't see anything. I wish I had taken his number so I could contact him in case I wanted to talk to him. 

"Eli," Josiah called me. 

I just finished doing rounds and I'm still yawning from sleepiness. I was about to go back to my office when I met Josiah who looked like he was going to make rounds.

"What?" I asked him while raising an eyebrow.

My friend laughed a little then scratched his head so I took it back and just grinned.

"I have a favor," he said immediately. 

I frowned, "What is it?" I asked.

"Come with me and you'll see," he said with a serious voice so I just nodded. 

He started walking so I followed him. I have nothing else to do now besides my appointment with a patient before lunch. I don't know what favor Josiah is talking about, but whatever it is, I feel nervous because he just asked me for a favor. 

"I will pass one of my patients to you. Please, Eli," he pleaded.

"What? Why would you pass it to me?" I asked with a shocked face while following him. 

"I-I just think I can't... and we all know that you're the best surgeon here in our city. I don't have the courage for this surgery right now," he explained to me.

I couldn't understand what Josiah was saying so I continued to follow him until we stopped at a door. I was about to speak again when the door suddenly opened causing me to turn around.

It was as if my heart was pounding when I saw who it was and I wanted to retreat.

"Eli," Josiah called me again.

I  swallowed hard there and I couldn't even move. What is that man doing here in my hospital? I want to ask questions and speak but no voice comes out of my mouth. 

"Jos," I called Josiah because I didn't know why he brought me here. 

"His wife is the patient that I would transfer to you, Eli," Josiah immediately explained to me.

"Let's come inside so you can check up on her," Josiah added then entered the room.

He went in there first and I was left standing in front of Stefan. Stefan is my ex and the father of my son. It's like I just want to sink from where I'm standing because I can't imagine that the world is so small. I knew that we would meet and meet again, but I didn't expect it this way. 

I never thought that the people who hurt and cheated on me before would still come to me to ask for help. Most people are right. The world is round. You will not be at the bottom forever and not everyone who has hurt you too much will always succeed in life.