Embracing Darkness

GABBIE TORRES

“WHAT! You want me to live in the province. Again?!” My eyebrows were raised when I heard my dad say that I needed to stay in the province because he had received a death threat. Again.

He is a judge, and nothing's new with his kind of job. It's normal for us. But right now, I can't agree with his decision because Mateo is coming to the Philippines this week.

“Dad, no! I can't agree with you this time.” I told him as I started to leave his office.

“Gabriela!”

I frantically turned my head back to him.

“My goodness! Why do you have to call me that name?”

I hate it every time he's calling me by my real name. Ang manang ng datingan. Of all names that they could name me, they chose that name.

He massaged his temples. Napailing. “That's my order! As long as you are living under this roof with me, you will follow me. No BUTS!”

I sarcastically laugh. “What? Are you serious? If that's what you want, sige. Aalis ako dito sa bahay.”

Napatayo na si dad. Binagsak ang palad sa lamesa. “Tumigil ka sa kahibangan mo.”

Taas noo kong sinalubong ang tingin ni dad. “I won't. I can manage myself. I love you, Dad but I don't want to be thrown away again sa province like you always do. Kung saan-saan mo na lang ako dinadala na probinsya sa tuwing may death threat ka. Hindi naman ako siguro kasama sa papatayin nila.”

“Gabriela! Watch your mouth.”

“I'm just stating the truth. Kung maipatapon mo ako ako sa kung saang lupalop ng Pilipinas akala mo wala na ako sariling buhay.”

“Wala kang magagawa kun'di ang sundin ang sinasabi ko. Sa Quezon Province ka maglalagi hangga't hindi ko sinasabi na babalik ka na rito!”

“No!”

“I'm not asking you. Sinasabi ko sa iyo na uuwi ka ng Quezon hangga't may banta pa sa buhay ko.”

I wanted to yell and tell him na hindi ako pumapayag. Ayaw ko. Hindi ko gusto. But my mouth just keep silent.

Inis akong tumalikod.

“Gabriela! Come back here.”

Napatigil ako sa tuluyan na paglabas ng office ni dad ng may bumangga sa akin na naka-maong na jacket na nakatupi and with his white plain shirt inside. He is wearing also his tattered jeans. He has lots of tattoo both in his arms. Ayun agad ang napansin ko dahil nabangga ko siya. Tiningnan ko siya mula paa hanggang ulo.

My jaw dropped with his handsome but serious face.

Dad approached us as I stared at this strange man in front of me.

Sinulyapan lang ako nitong lalaki na kaharap ko.

Ang sungit! Akala mo kung sinong gwapo.

Yeah, I admit that he's handsome but I think ka-edad na niya si daddy. Mas bata lang siya I think ng 10 years kay dad. Nasa late forties na si daddy and I'm twenty two now. Maagang nagpakasal sina mommy at daddy. But he's not my biological father.

I have no plans of knowing or even trying to know where my real parents are. I have a better life with my parents now at kung nasaan man ang totoo kong pamilya, I don't care anymore. They have their reasons, that's why they gave me. And whatever reason they have, I don't want to know anymore.

Humalukipkip ako sa harapan niya. Giving him a poker face. Hindi ba niya ako kilala? He didn't even say sorry to me. Tsk. Rude.

“Gabbie, this is Wyatt. Your new bodyguard.”

Mas nalaglag ang panga ko sa sinabi ni dad. Bodyguard? Siya? I think I am in trouble. Mukha siyang strict teacher na barumbado. Iyong tipong nakick out noong nag-aaral pa tapos magiging bodyguard ko. Ang malas ko naman.

I rolled my eyes. “No way! This can't be, daddy.” Reklamo ko. Hindi ako papayag. Mas mukha pa nga siyang nakakatakot.

I heard Daddy heavily sigh again. “Pagpasensyahan mo na lang siya, Wyatt.” Kausap niya kay Wyatt

Isang tango lang ang sinagot nito kay dad. Ang tipid.

“Wyatt? As in why and what?” I told him with a little humor dahil masyado siyang seryoso. Ni jindi nga siya ngumiti man lang. He remained serious.

Matandang boring.

Siguro matandang binata 'to. Masungit, e!

I make a face. “Boring,” I said, referring to him, but he never even glanced at me.

Nakakainis talaga siya.

“Gabriela…” saway sa akin ni daddy.

“What?! Totoo naman. He doesn't respond. He'll be my bodyguard, but he didn't even greet me. Rude.” Inis kong sabi.

“Ano na ba ang gagawin ko sa iyo? You are not listening to me anymore.”

Wyatt is just listening to us. Tahimik masiyado. Ang dalawang kamay niya ay nakalagay sa harapan niya. Too formal.

“Just let me live here.” I quickly answered.

He rubbed his forehead. The way he's looking at me, parang nauubusan na ng pasensya sa akin.

“I already hired him to protect you. Sasamahan ka niyang hanapin ang totoong nanay mo. The last information I got was, nasa Quezon province sila. Wyatt will accompany you until you know the location of your biological mother.”

My lips hang open in surprise. “What for?”

“You know that I received a death threat. Mas mapanganib ngayon ang nagbabanta sa akin. Whatever happens to me, alam kung may pamilya kang mauuwian at makakasama mo. I don't have to worry about you.”

“Dad! Why are you saying that? If that's only your reason, I will not go with him. I can take care of myself. Besides, I don't want to find out where they are.”

Hinawakan ako ni daddy sa magkabilang balikat at pinaharap sa kanya. I looked away. Nagtatampo at naiinis ako sa kanya. Ilalayo niya ako at dadalhin sa Quezon para lang makita ko ang nanay ko na nang-iwan sa akin.

“Gabbie… just please, listen to me. I am doing this for you. Puntahan niyo ang address na binigay ko kay Wyatt. Kapag hindi ka niya tinanggap, bumalik ka rito. And I will allow you to move out and live on your own. May binili na akong condo para sa iyo.”

I slowly turned my gaze to him. For sure, hindi ako tanggapin ng nanay ko o baka nga hindi namin siya mahanap.

Napakagat ako ng labi. It's a great deal. Magiging malaya na ako. We will travel six to seven hours only, and after that, we can go back here na in Manila.

“Deal. Kailan kami aalis?”

“Tonight.” He quickly answered.

Nanlaki ang mata ko. “Huh! Tonight agad? Hindi pa ako nakapag-prepare.”

“You don't have to bring much. May bahay na si Wyatt sa Quezon. You will stay there. Ipapadala ko na lang ang ibang gamit mo.”

“What?! Akala ko ba, kapag pinuntahan namin ang nanay ko, if she will not accept me, I can go back na here? Why do I have to stay in his house pa?” turo ko kay Wyatt na muntik ko nang makalimutan that he exist here.

“You will get back here until we are safe.”

“No way! Parang wala namang pabor sa akin ang deal mo,” reklamo ko ulit. I pout my lips. Nakakainis talaga. Akala ko, makakalipat na ako pero hindi pa pala. I don't like his deals. Parehas na ayaw kong gawin.

“You will only stay in Wyatt's house just in case na hindi ka tanggapin ng nanay mo. Hanggang safe ka lang na makabalik ulit dito. That will only last for four to six months.”

“Seriously, dad?” I asked in disbelief. “Four to six months? That's too long. Ayaw ko!”

I stomped my feet.

Inakbayan ako ni Wyatt. “Ako na ang bahala sa kanya, Judge Torres.”

Inalis ko agad ang kamay niya. How dare him to touch me like that! FC. Feeling close.

“We're not close. My goodness! You are just my bodyguard.” Maarte kong sabi kay Wyatt at pinagpag ko pa ang balikat ko na hinawakan niya.

His jaw clenched while looking at me.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” mataray kong tanong sa kanya dahil parang gustong sumagot sa akin.

My dad, on a third time, deeply sighs. “Sige na, Wyatt. Ikaw na ang bahala sa kanya.”

Wyatt nodded his head. Hinawakan niya ako sa braso at hinila palabas sa office ni dad.

Nagmatigas ako para mahirapan siyang mahila ako. Akala ba niya, madali lang niya ako mapapasunod.

“Let go of my hand.”

Bigla siyang huminto at humarap sa akin. Tumama ang noo ko sa baba niya dahil hanggang balikat lang niya ako.

“Why did you stop?!” hawak ko ang noo ko na tila nauntog sa pader. Ang tigas. Kasing tigas mg mukha niya.

He didn't answer me. He just stared me. Ano ba 'to? Ang hirap kausap. Parang pinipili lang niya ang sasagutin niya o ang mga salita niya.

Inis kong binawi ang kamay ko sa kanya at tiningnan siya nang masama bago siya nilampasan.

Mag-eempake na lang ako ng gamit ko kaysa mamuti ang mata ko na kausapin siya dahil hindi naman sumasagot.

• • •