34. OBSIDIAN

“Show me,” he demanded.

My walls were cracking. I had built them up years ago when I first saw what my sadistic urges could accomplish. It was a wall I had built around a part of me I knew the pride wouldn’t accept, not that I really cared what they thought.

“You don’t know what you’re asking.”

My eyes dropped when he licked his lips. I watched the movement of his tongue with interest. A shudder raced down my spine as I imagined all the things he could do with it. His tongue was raspy like mine and not the same texture as Vanya’s. A memory pushed the images aside—one of Vanya licking the blood from my skin.

“Show me, Obsidian. Show me what you wanted to do to her.”

I swallowed.

He was watching me, urging me on with eyes a shade lighter than mine.

Eyes that had watched my abuse.

“No,” I growled as I got off him. “Leave.”

“Why not?” Devrim yelled. “You want to hurt her.”

“It’s different.”

“How’s it different?”

Ignoring him, I walked deeper into the cave and sighed when I heard him following. The walls narrowed the deeper I went. My skin scraped against the rough surface of the wall as I forced my body through the narrow space.

A few more steps and I entered the centre of the cave. It was bigger than the entrance behind the waterfall, and the perfect place to escape.

Devrim didn’t follow me any further. I could feel his uncertainty.

Walking over to the rock to the left, I reached behind it to grab the battery-operated lamps and switched them on.

I loved being surrounded by darkness, but Devrim didn’t.

“W-when did you find this place?”

I hesitated. “Before I… tried to end things.”

I turned and watched him as he looked around. His eyes lingered on the other tunnels that led even further into the mountain.

One day, I’d explore them too.

“This is directly under the waterfall, right?” he questioned as he stared up at the roof of the cave.

“Yes.” I smiled when he winced. “The only way it would collapse is from natural disaster or because humans—”

“I get it.”

After a moment’s hesitation, he took a step forward and then another. Devrim swallowed and looked at me.

“You never answered my question.”

I tilted my head to the side. “Not every question deserves an answer.”

“But this one does.”

Shaking my head, I walked over to the wall and crouched by the bags I had carried in here days after I first discovered it. I pulled some shorts out and straightened. Turning, I threw a pair at him and pulled the other on. When I looked up, he was already dressed and silently watching me.

I turned back to the bags, bypassed the one that contained all my books, and opened the one next to it.

“Vanya has no triggers,” I muttered. “You do.”

“I—”

“Strawberries?” I held the can towards him.

Devrim frowned at it as he shook his head. “No. What do you mean I have triggers?”

I sat down with my knees bent and an elbow resting on one as I pulled a strawberry from the can. Flavour exploded in my mouth when I took the first bite.

Strawberries were one of my favourite fruits, along with oranges. Devrim hated fruits and Ezra loved sweets like Vanya.

“Obsidian?”

“If I tie you up, you’ll be reminded of the facility. If I hurt you—”

“I get it.” He held up his hands. “Triggers.”

Swallowing the last bite, I wiped my hand and stood to get rid of the can.

“How do you know Vanya doesn’t have any triggers?” he asked after a few minutes.

I smirked at him. “Because I tied her up last night and made her come over and over again.”

Shock widened his eyes, but he said nothing.

My eyes darted over his body as I walked towards him.

“I can’t show you without tying you up,” I rasped. “I can’t play with my knives and make you bleed.”

“Why not?”

“You’ll fight,” I whispered. “It’s instinct. Your fighting will only make me want to hurt you more.”

I stopped in front of him and silently regarded him. Devrim managed to hold my stare for a total of two minutes before he lowered his eyes.

“Have you read my reports?”

He hesitated and then nodded. “N-not all of them.”

“Why not, Devrim? It’s part of your… job.”

Devrim said nothing.

My eyes dropped to his fidgeting hands and slowly trailed higher to rest on his chest. Sweat coated his skin, making it glister.

“Do you still want me to show you, Dev?”

His eyes shot up to mine. They were emotionless, but I knew he was thinking. He had Vanya’s well-being on his mind.

“Show me.”

My smirk widened as my hand shot out to grip the back of his neck. “You might not like what I’m about to do to you, but remember that you asked for it.”

I waited for his nod before I struck.