รักจำฝังใจ

Erin’s POV

My stomach churns for the third time this morning as I run from my desk to the toilet. Nausea is something that I’m used to… ever since I was sixteen, but this is something different.

I quickly flipped the lock on the door, falling to the ground in front of the toilet just before the contents of my pathetic breakfast came pouring out of me.

The smell makes me feel worse, and I hold my breath, counting to ten in the hope that this feeling disappears.

Between the drugs and procedures, this wouldn’t be anything new, but in the back of my mind, something feels off.

It’s been two years of trying…. And two weeks since the last implanted egg.

Could it be?

After flushing the toilet and splashing my face with water, I returned to my desk in the hope that the nausea will go away.

“Do you need anything, Rin?” my boss, a laid-back woman in her sixties, leans against my door frame, a thin brow arched.

I forced a smile, “No, but thank you.”

“If you change your mind, don’t hesitate to reach out. Or you’re welcome to send Allison on a care-package trip,” she winks.

“Thank you, Andrea, but that won’t be necessary.”

I didn’t like relying on anyone. That was precisely the reason I continued to work when my husband was the CEO of a multi-million-dollar company.

The longer I stared at my computer screen, the more incessant that little voice in my head was.

Despite the constant failures, I still carried around a box of pregnancy tests just in case I wanted to feel disappointed at least once a month.

I read sentence after sentence, trying to edit today’s work, but my mind was stuck.

My purse sat discarded on the ground beside my feet, and I found myself glancing towards it over and over again until I couldn’t take it any longer.

“Ugh, fine,” I snatched up the bag, practically running to the bathroom, and peeling the plastic wrapping away from the box. “You win.”

I stared at the pink and white stick for what felt like a lifetime, “Fuck it,” I peed on the tip, slapping the little plastic cover over the end, and flipping it upside down on the countertop.

My heart was doing summersaults as I tapped out the seconds on my bare thigh.

Three minutes and I would know if Rowan and I were finally pregnant.

Two minutes in, and I realized my nerves were causing my leg to bounce faster than a race car driver.

I can’t wait a second longer.

Snatching the test from the countertop, I close my eyes, taking a final deep breath before flipping it over.

My hand instinctively covers my mouth.

Two bright pink lines. Not faint. Not questionable. Bright. Pink.

“Ohmyfuckinggod,” I rushed out so quickly, it sounded like one ridiculously long word.

Two years of trying and it finally happened.

Rowan and I were going to be parents.

The small stick in my hands blurred as tears tracked down my cheeks.

I tucked the test back into my purse, running out of my office and straight to Andrea, “Would it be okay if I just took the rest of the day off?”

Her face twisted with worry, “Of course. Is everything okay?”

I knew the statistics, despite the vibrant pink lines, so I only nodded, “I just can’t seem to get my stomach in order.”

Andrea wouldn’t question me. The woman was like a mother to me since my own had shunned me after finding out that I was doing IVF.

It wasn’t God’s will, she’d say. Science and the church just don’t equate.

Fuck her. My goal in life was always to become a mother, and if I had to go this route, then so be it.

“Let me know if you need tomorrow too,” she called to my back.

I hopped into my car, covering my mouth once again with my hands, but letting out an excited squeal this time.

“How do I want to tell Rowan?” I stared aimlessly out the windshield before deciding to go pick up a little gift bag for him.

Driving was harder than I expected. Every few minutes, the waterworks would start back up, and I’d have to pull over.

I made sure to drive to a department store outside of town in case anyone we knew might be shopping around.

My plan to surprise Rowan couldn’t have any hiccups.

The idea of surprising him with this news at all had me feeling like I was on top of the world as I shopped for a tiny onesie that said daddy’s favorite, a package of adorable, themed pacifiers, tiny socks, and a few bottles. I added an inconspicuous bag, and plain tissue paper, and headed to gather things for his favorite dinner.

We’d unknowingly celebrate, under the guise that I just wanted to treat him, and at the end of dinner, I'd hand him the bag.

I could barely contain myself as I headed back to our oceanside mansion. My mind was going through the million things I'd need to do. Call the clinic for further testing, plan a small announcement party for our closest friends and family, prepare a nursery….

I was getting ahead of myself.

As I slowly approached the edge of our winding driveway, two vehicles parked out front caught my eye.

First, Rowan’s sleek black BMW sat near the garage, but Ophelia’s bright orange mini-cooper was parked in the roundabout.

I quietly pulled my vehicle down beside Rowan’s, grabbing the gift bag with trembling hands.

Rowan was supposed to be at work…

As I approached the side of the house with the bag in hand, I heard them through the open window.

“Rowy baby,” Ophelia cooed. “When are you going to leave her?” I peeked inside, hiding beneath the window's ledge, and holding my breath so as not to make a single noise. Ophelia’s face was done up in her typical full face of makeup. Her botoxed lips pushed out in a pout as she sat atop my husband’s lap.

She was sitting on my husband’s lap….

Long, golden blonde hair trailed in waves down her back, and over her slender form, and for the first time, I noticed how different the two of us were.

I had long, dark hair that I used a colored conditioner to emulate a black-cherry-like color. My body was curvy and strong, where hers was similar to the build of your typical model. She was tall, thin, and had fake breasts. I was shorter, curvy, and had naturally small C’s.

I was frozen, rooted in place and unable to tear my eyes from the two of them. The man that I loved…. That I was married to, and pregnant with his child, was cheating on me with my best friend.

“Opi,” he cradled her face gently, and I watched as she leaned into his touch. How cruel that he’d call her Opi. That was a childhood nickname that she only allowed her father to use. “You know that our prenup expires in three months. I’ll serve her divorce papers the moment I’m free from that damned thing. You don’t want Rin taking everything that we’ve built, right?”

“Of course not,” she gasped. “But what about IVF? Are you going to stop trying now that we’re official?” Ophelia pouted again.

“Not with you,” Rowan smirked, smashing their lips together. “You’re not broken.”

Those words were like a knife straight to the heart.

I wanted to scoff at his words. I wanted to storm inside and tear that pathetic man a new asshole, but instead, I quietly stepped away from the window and headed back to my car.

The gift was tossed in the backseat, left to be forgotten just as I had been.

My husband was only still married to me because the clause in our prenup tied him to me for three more months.

I glanced down at my still-flat stomach, new tears forming for the life growing inside me.

Rowan Connolly will regret ever thinking he could betray me.