Best Funny Pickup Lines Ever Novels & Stories

His grin widened, all easy charm and relief that I was talking to him. “You remember that?” “How could I forget? It was the single worst, most cocky, most ridiculous pick-up line I’d ever heard.” I shook my head, still laughing. “I almost poured my drink on you.” “But you didn’t,” he pointed out, flagging down the bartender and pointing to my glass for a refill. We both laughed now, the tension from earlier in the office momentarily forgotten in the shared stupid memory. The laughter faded into a comfortable silence and I swirled the whiskey in my glass.

Alex: I winced. So he knows? "Is there a problem?" I couldn't hide the smile, tugging at my lips. "Are your out of your mind? You're making this worse than it already is! I won't let you mess with my woman, do you understand?" "Dude, chill. I'm not trying to mess with anyone. But if I were, I'd probably start by using a better pickup line than 'you're messing with my woman'." I replied and I heard the sound of a glass shattering.

“Duh mister, I won't introduce you with someone who's just sixteen or seventeen years old, what is that pedophile? But of course, age doesn't matter for those who truly love each other” "Naks pick-up line ma'am?" "Yes you want me to pull your testicles?" “What the—”, hahahahahahahahaha I really can't stop laughing What is this woman saying? It's so gross hahahahahahahahaha "Hehe just a joke, but do you know Alexa Eunice Wilzt?" “H-Ha? Who's that?" "Oh hehe you can't fool me mister, you're obvious, so how did you meet her?"

I can guarantee you that my chat up lines are worse than anything you've ever heard! "spill Jones!" fuck her cheeky side is such a turn on. "haha, ok ok, feel my shirt. know what it's made of? boyfriend material!" "that's brilliant, another one?" "Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you got the nicest set of buns I've ever seen!" she's laughing so hard that she has tears in her eyes and her laugh is music to my ears. "now your turn!" "I've only ever said a chat-up line to someone once and that was because I lost a bet but it was... I think there's something wrong with my phone. your numbers not in there!"

“And I want to court you to be my girlfriend.” Even worse! I shrugged my head in disapproval. “You’re joking.” “Do I look like it?” “You don’t look like a clown but damn, you have a talent to be one,” I spat in annoyance. “What did you even saw in me? I’m not even beautiful!” “You are! I was in fact, blinded by your dazzling beauty,” I frowned at his clichéd pickup line. It was so cheesy I wanted to puke again right now to turn him off. I always hated awkward moments like this.

I haven't responded to him before he said, "You light my world the moment you step in." I scrunch my face in confusion. "What?" "That's a pickup line", Becky commented. I burst out laughing at Becky's comment. "A pick-up line? It sucks." I laughed some more. The guy was handsome no doubt but, what sort of pickup line is that? I asked inwardly. The first thing you say to a girl is a pick-up line? That's absurd! The guy only smiled as he stood with his broad shoulders confidently, twirling his fingers around the glass of wine in his hand.

But he sounded as fresh as ever throwing cheesy pickup lines. "Did you call to check up on me, angel?" He asked with a hint of tease in his voice. That guy is unpredictable. "Why in the world would I do that?" I asked. "Ouch. You should at least learn to care about other's feelings." He said in fake hurtful voice. If only he knew what he was saying. "What did you eat that made you so cheery?" I asked changing the topic. I heard him laugh at that. "You really wanna know?" He asked.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ JAMES POV As per her instruction once she left my office I read the note that she gave me Dear Mr. Ceo It hurt to see your gorgeous face everyday but who am I to complain? Smile but not to often because the female population might not survive😉 It makes me laugh out loud. I did not remember when is the last time I laugh this loud and so carefree. She thinks I am gorgeous? She is the gorgeous one. If this is a pick up line I am 100% sure it is effective because I am ready to follow her wherever she goes. One sided love sucks! What I mean one sided crush sucks!

"That is the worst pick-up line I have ever heard in my entire life." Huxley's laugh matches mine and when I turn, he smiles and his eyes brighten up the room. He brightens up everywhere he goes. Like a Huxley lightbulb. Even though were in Vegas chasing my ex-boyfriend, who is probably on his way to put my friends in danger, Huxley has found time to make me smile. And that is why I'm simply falling in love with the man. "The question isn't if it's corny. That's a given. What matters is if it worked."

Which was practically a lie because I have never really been on the receiving end of a pickup line but I was not going to succumb to his flirty behaviour. "Ouch, that hurt my poor heart, princess," Collin pouted, placing his hand dramatically over his chest. "How about I try my other line?" "How about a cup of coffee," I countered, ignoring his attempt at another pickup line. "I'm in dire need of a steaming coffee." "I saw a café on the way to the hospital. I can take you there, and we can try out my other lines," Collin suggested with a playful grin. **{••}**{••}**