Best Funny Pickup Lines Ever Novels & Stories

“I don’t usually need pickup lines. And this definitely isn’t usual.” Fair point.

she declared. "Geez, you could've given me a heads-up! You nearly gave me a heart attack," Bob grumbled. "Haha, my bad!" "It’s fine. I’d give you all my blood if you asked for it. Heck, I’d give you my life," Bob added, trying to sound smooth. "Haha, you’re hilarious. Do you actually use those cheesy lines to pick up girls?" Emely asked with a smirk. "Yeah... how did you know?" "No wonder you're still single. Your lines are way too flashy. Take my advice: bury that one and never use it again," Emely said, grinning.

Then Chris asks, "Wanna hear some pickup lines?" Piper grins, "Sure." "Are you g****e cause you have everything I've been looking for," he starts. Piper smiles, "Good one." "Did it hurt?" Chris asks. "Did what hurt?" "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Piper bursts out laughing. "Wait. Your boobs look great in this dress," he says. Piper smiles but then remembers that it's supposed to be a pickup line. She has heard it before.

Why? Because [punchline]. | As Kate accessed the feature, she was presented with some of the most popular pick-up lines from across the country. Ecto would deliver the first half, she would press NEXT, and he would reveal the punchline. Some of her favorites were: | Is your name Goggle? … ’cause you’ve got everything I’m searching for. | Is your name wi-fi? … ’cause I’m really feeling a connection. | Is Geometry your favorite subject?

“That sure seemed like a little more than casual online acquaintances… right?” “Or even online friends,” Daisy agreed. “That was like… the best pickup line ever in the entire history of pickup lines.” “My God… Daisy, what do I do now?” Everly asked her friend. Because she was scared now. She hadn’t expected anything like this, but even as she realized how desperately she wanted Daisy to be right, Everly knew how impossible it would be to try and fail at love again. She could write about it a million ways twice over again, but Everly knew it was too dangerous to hope for it for herself.

“You look even better up close,” he drawls, that Midwestern accent curling around the words. “Huh?” “You’re the girl of my dreams,” Jared Beaumont says matter‑of‑factly. That has to be the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard. “You can’t be serious. Who has that line ever worked on?”

he said as he kept on comforting me, "But she doesn't know that," "She will," he smiled as he cupped my face,"Mate, bonds are powerful, remember?" --- "Okay guys, how about this? I hope you know CPR, because you took my breath away," I almost spit out the ice tea I was drinking and muffled in the snort to hold back the laughter as Carter continue to spurt some pick up lines. Lucas made a loud chuckle that made every one of us burst out in laughter, because Carter decided to use pick-up lines once he will talk with Eve. He decided that maybe a bouquet of flowers wouldn't work, so he thought that he needed some pick-up lines for Eve.

Which was practically a lie because I have never really been on the receiving end of a pickup line but I was not going to succumb to his flirty behaviour. "Ouch, that hurt my poor heart, princess," Collin pouted, placing his hand dramatically over his chest. "How about I try my other line?" "How about a cup of coffee," I countered, ignoring his attempt at another pickup line. "I'm in dire need of a steaming coffee." "I saw a café on the way to the hospital. I can take you there, and we can try out my other lines," Collin suggested with a playful grin. **{••}**{••}**

She scoffed. "Just like a candle can burn my shirt, I want to dump my hot sperm in you. Do you care to burn too?" I whispered, my fingertips grazing her arm. "Is that a pickup line? Sperms don't burn, sir." I chuckled, yanking her more closer to me so that her lips are pressed against my hard chest. "Tell me what my sperm does to you then? If it doesn't burn, tell me what happens when you feel it in you or better still when I release it and it flows down your pussy."

My laughter filled the air of the restaurant. “All right, let’s hear your best pickup line. Impress me with your smooth-talking skills.” I told him as he grinned, his eyes gleaming with determination. “All right, here goes.” He spoke before clearing his voice and looking at me with puppy eyes. “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.” I burst into laughter, my hand covering my mouth to stifle the sound. “Oh God, that was cheesy! But I have to admit, it did bring a smile to my face.” I laughed as Caleb bowed his head in mock defeat.