Best Funny Pickup Lines Ever Novels & Stories

In the strict halls of Briarcliff School for boys, 18-year old Hosea finds himself drawn to his charismatic Gym teacher, Ms. Simeon. As their connection deepens, Hosea realizes he’s developed feelings for his teacher that go beyond admiration. But their love is forbidden, and the consequences of discovery could be devastating. Will Hosea and Simeon find a way to be together, or will the weight of tradition and dogma tear them apart?

Keion is not an awkward teenager. Being the son of the Alpha, his bloodline ensures that he was well-endowed with self-confidence. His physique, personality and intellect all affirm that his father is one of the greatest Alphas to reign in the past several centuries. He is set to follow in his dad's footsteps and he knows that his mate might be any of the pretty girls he spends time with. He isn't just lucky. Ceanna has tried everything she can to remain under the radar. By no efforts of her own, she is moved up to the class for the smart kids, she's been elected as a student leader and she is dating the most popular boy in school. All she wants is to blend in, but clearly the Moon Goddess has other plans and even her iron willpower can't fight that. She just has rotten luck. Christmas is a time for gifts and pleasant surprises, but Keion never thought in a million years that his present this year would be to meet his mate, let alone kiss her before their first date or formal introduction! Normally meeting your mate would then mean, you go tell your parents, but Keion has a slight problem: he was kissed several times on Christmas Eve so he isn't sure which one she is! Someone had awakened his awareness, but he has no idea which of the girls it was. It wasn't time for them to meet so his wolf can't see her either but that doesn't stop his heart from soaring to the moon because he had generally liked the looks of every girl he met on that fateful day. He will do whatever he can to find her because he knows that theirs will be an epic union to change the future of werewolves forever.

I was checking out our own hotel. Got hungry, so I snagged a tiny bread roll before my order came out. Then the lobby manager strutted over and slapped me with a fine. "Hi, miss. No outside food. You stayed eight minutes and thirty seconds, spent $150, and your fine's $128,000." I stared at the ticket like, What the hell? Snapped a pic and sent it to the board, tagging my lovely brother: [Getting fined at our own hotel—so THIS is how you're boosting revenue?]

At my own wedding, the groom switched—Malcolm Lowell bailed, and the best man stepped in. Lumi, the Irving's real daughter, latched onto Malcolm's arm and smirked from the crowd. "I was just feeling a little low," she said. "Didn't think Malcolm would go this far for me." Malcolm raised a brow. "I just wanted to make her happy. You took her spot for years. Time to pay it back. This is for your own good." That's when it hit me—this whole wedding was a setup, a twisted show just to entertain Lumi. All because I was the adopted one. I'd lived in her place for over two decades. I didn't cry. Didn't freak out. I just took the new groom's hand, faced the priest, and said, "Keep going."

All Alessandro ‘Sandro’ Kennedy De Rossi ever wanted was to marry the woman of his dreams and Selena Salvatore was everything he could ever ask for. Beautiful, kind, and smart, her innocence drew him to her like a moon to water. They were inseparable and when their wedding day arrives, he knew that his life would be complete until tragedy strikes both of them and leave the lover separated. Losing Selena almost destroys Sandro until he finds out the truth of their accident which later reveals she was alive after all. Though Selena loses her memory and remembers nothing about the man she had married months ago, Sandro decides to use drastic measures by kidnap his wife. Convincing her about their love wasn’t easy but it was a challenge he was willing to take if it means getting her back and facing his enemies. He had lost her once, he won’t lose her again.

Harris Black's sister died, which has sent his world in a spiral gloom. Having to juggle the loss of his closest family member, and high school, Harris struggles to find the light in his life. He just wants to run away with his girlfriend, Sarah, to Stonefall where they can live off their musical dreams. While Harris struggles with the darkness of grief, Sarah White deals with her own issues. Her dad is a drunk, and hardly pays attention to her, and she faces bullies at school because of what she wears. As they navigate their lives together, willing to work through their own pain to create something wonderful, secrets come out, and a loss larger than Harris's sister shakes the lives of these two teens.

Mia didn't choose this life. Dropped into a world of dust, horses, and hard edges, she's just trying to keep her head down and survive it. Lane was built for it. Rough, controlled, and impossible to ignore, he lives for the ride-bulls, danger, and the kind of reputation that keeps people at a distance. But distance doesn't last forever. not when Mia starts finding her place among the animals... Not when Lane starts watching her more than he should... And not when the tension between them turns into something neither of them can outrun. In a world where falling hurts and trust comes slow, Mia and Lane are about to learn that some risks aren't just taken in the arena.

I knew that my father did not like me since I was young. When I wanted to commit suicide to end the pain caused by my illness, he was celebrating another child’s birthday. He hated my mother and me alongside her. So, when I told him that I was sick, he did not believe me. “Is this your new tactic to get money from me?” No one believed that the daughter of the Powell family could die because she was too poor to pay the hospital fees. My father did not believe it either. However, when he saw my dead body, the famous actor who hated his daughter actually went insane.

Eden Castle and Cedric Rivers had been together for eleven years. Just when she thought they would grow old together, Cedric went and cheated on her. He had been cheating on her for three years with a girl who looked just like her, only the girl was much younger than Eden. Eden assumed this was as bad as it could get, then it got worse. Her son Mateo gave her a letter announcing that he was severing ties with her. He blamed Eden for ruining what was supposed to be a happy family. Eden was crushed as she signed the divorce agreement. However, she decided she never wanted anything to do with the pair of father and son again.

What was even more humiliating than discovering her fiancé’s affair was hearing him claim he’d lost interest in her, and that he had gotten another woman pregnant. In the world of adults, it’s never about right or wrong—only about leverage. Heather Jenner couldn’t afford to lose the status she was so close to achieving as a wealthy wife. Let him have his fun, she thought. If he could stray, why shouldn’t she find another man to father her child? And so, she set her sights on his younger brother—the one who outshone him in every way.