Best Your Mom Jokes

There's nothing more shattering than hearing that you're signed off as a collateral to marry in order to clear off your uncle's stupid debts. "So this is it" I pull the hoodie over my head and grab my duffel bag that is already stuffed with all my important stuff that I need for survival. Carefully I jump down my window into the bushes below skillfully. I've done this a lot of times that I've mastered the art of jumping down my window. Today is different though, I'm not coming back here, never! I cannot accept marrying some rich ass junkie. I dust the leaves off my clothe and with feathery steps, I make out of the driveway. A bright headlight of a car points at me making me freeze in my tracks, another car stops and the door of the car opens. There's always only one option, Run!

THEY SAID NO WAY..................... Ashton Cooper and Selena McKenzie hated each other ever since the first day they've met. Selena knew his type of guys only too well, the player type who would woo any kinda girl as long as she was willing. Not that she was a prude but there was a limit to being loose, right? She would teach him a lesson about his "loving and leaving" them attitude, she vowed. The first day Ashton met Selena, the latter was on her high and mighty mode looking down on him. Usually girls fell at his beck and call without any effort on his behalf. Modesty was not his forte but what the hell, you live only once, right? He would teach her a lesson about her "prime and proper" attitude, he vowed. What they hadn't expect was the sparks flying between them...Hell, what now? ..................AND ENDED UP WITH OKAY

This Book is Classified into Two Books under the same title. Book One has 60 Chapters. Whiles Book Two is the continuation and the love story of the Book One main characters' children. A one-night stand with a stranger brought Ashley to her downfall. Being betrayed by her step-sister and her boyfriend on her birthday, Ashley took on an impulsive action to sleep with a stranger. Which unfortunately got her pregnant. To add to her sorrow, her step-sister and her 5 years boyfriend were getting engaged. Thrown out from her home by her father and stepmother, Ashley thought she would struggle to carter for her baby. Until she met a man who took her under his wings and protected her. But the man always wears a mask in other for Ashley not to recognize who he is. Not having anywhere to go. Families and friends turned their back on her. Life was hard for Ashley. But she was still determined to move forward with the unknown man. Ashley was overwhelmed by the unknown person's care toward her. Without having any idea, the unknown person is no other person than David Westwood. The CEO of DWC, the multi-billionaire, and the same person who got her pregnant. What will Ashley do with her triplets? What will Ashley do when she finds the man who got her pregnant? Will Ashley forgive him and forget her past? Will there ever be love between them? Read more to find out!!

After my husband died in a car accident, I worked tirelessly running a small restaurant to raise my son, Henry. Right before Henry's wedding, I won eight million in the lottery. Thrilled, I decided to sell the restaurant and finally enjoy retirement. So, I called to tell Henry about selling the restaurant, his usually polite fiancée turned hostile. "You're not expecting us to support you, are you? We've barely started working!" She even warned Henry, "If you spend any of our money on your mom, the wedding's off!" Henry argued with her but then reassured me, promising, "You've worked hard enough, Mom. I'll take care of you." Feeling pretty good, I planned to give him two million to start a business. The next day, I got a call saying Henry had been in a serious car accident and urgently needed fifty thousand for surgery. I sent the money immediately, but afterward, Henry vanished. Desperate, I braved a storm to find him in his city, only to walk into a wedding at some fancy hotel. There's Henry, giving a toast and calling another woman "Mom." And, oh, sitting beside her? My "dead" husband from ten years ago.

Hindi akalain ni Mutya na magagawa nga talaga nyang pikutin ang among si Drake ngunit ngayon ay bigla na lang nabahag ang kanyang buntot at ayaw na niyang ituloy ang binabalak. Kailangan niyang makaalis ng kwarto bago pa magising si Drake. Dahan dahan niyang pinihit ang seradura ng pinto upang hindi sya makagawa ng ingay. Laking gulat na lamang nya dahil hindi pa man nya tuluyang nabubuksan ang pintuan ay may tumulak na nito mula sa labas kasunod ang maraming kislap at tunog ng camera. “Miss ikaw ba ang bagong girlfriend ni Drake Rufino?” “Nasa loob ba sya?” “Gano na kayo katagal?” Sunod sunod na katungan ng mga reporters. Sa takot ay napaurong sya. Hindi nya alam ang gagawin. Napatigil ang dalaga sa pag-urong nang bumangga sya sa matitipunong dibdib mula sa lalaking nakatayo sa kanyang likuran. Gising na si Drake. “Whats going on here?” halata sa mukha ng lalaki na bagong gising pa ito. Nakapulupot sa hubo't hubad nitong katawan ang puting kumot....

He shouldn’t have imagined her lying naked on his bed. She shouldn’t have imagined his devilishly handsome face between her legs. But it was too late. Kiara began noticing Ethan's washboard abs when he hopped out of the pool, dripping wet after swim practice. Ethan began gazing at Kiara’s golden skin in a bikini as a grown woman instead of the girl next door he grew up with. That kiss should have never happened. It was just one moment in a lifetime of moments, but they both felt its power. They knew the thrumming in their veins and desperation in their bodies might give them all they ever wanted or ruin everything if they followed it. Kiara and Ethan knew they should have never kissed. But it's too late to take that choice back, so they have a new one to make. Fall for each other and risk their friendship or try to forget one little kiss that might change everything. PREVIEW: “If you don’t want to kiss me then... let’s swim.” “Yeah, sure.” “Naked.” “What?” “I always wanted to try skinny dipping. And I really want to get out of these clothes.” “What if someone catches you... me, both?” “We will be in the pool, Ethan. And no one can see us from the living room.” I smirked when I said, “Unless you want to watch me while I swim, you can stay here.” His eyes darkened, and he looked away, probably thinking the same when I noticed red blush creeping up his neck and making his ears and cheeks flush. Cute. “Come on, Ethan. Don’t be a chicken...” “Fine.” His voice was rough when he said, “Remove that sweater first.”

I perceived something exceedingly familiar. That was the scent of the alpha. He is somewhere close by. I can't let him see me in this situation with Stark. Of all the times that the alpha could be present, it just had to be when I'm in bed with Stark. I was just about to get the truth out of Stark about his identity but my obsessed alpha won't understand what is going on here. Want to know what happens in this book? You'll have to open up the book. I guarantee you will love it.

Si Liam at Lara, boss and employee in the same company na hindi nila kilala ang isa't-isa. Sa gabi ng kaarawan ni Liam ay binigyan siya ng kanyang mga kaibigan ng makakasama buong gabi ngunit sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, si Lara ang nadala sa kanya dahil lang sa isang pagkakamali. Lara got pregnant broke up by her boyfriend, pinalayas din siya ng pamilyang umampon sa kanya at walang mapuntahan. Liam was shocked nang makitang empleyado niya pala ang babaeng naka-one night stand niya at buntis ito. Hindi niya gustong tumakbo pero natatakot siyang ipagtapat dito kung sino siya.

Just because I ate one chicken leg more than my brother, my father kicked me out of the house in the middle of a snowstorm. Later on, my father of an archeologist dug up my body. Due to my missing head, he did not recognize me. Even when he saw that the body had the same scars as I did, he did not care. Later on, my mother dug out my heart and showed it to her students. "Today, we will study the heart of someone with congenital heart disease." She once said she would recognize me no matter what I looked like. Mom, now that the only thing left of me is my heart, do you still recognize me?

Twin brothers.Different personalities. Completely identical. Except for a tattoo. One an ex-convict. The other a judge. Watch out for a thrilling drama as secrets and twists play out in this blockbuster story.You can read my interviewand oni, https://tinyurl.com/y62f98am