Novel & Cerita Best Your Mom Jokes

Twin brothers.Different personalities. Completely identical. Except for a tattoo. One an ex-convict. The other a judge. Watch out for a thrilling drama as secrets and twists play out in this blockbuster story.You can read my interviewand oni, https://tinyurl.com/y62f98am

Just because I ate one chicken leg more than my brother, my father kicked me out of the house in the middle of a snowstorm. Later on, my father of an archeologist dug up my body. Due to my missing head, he did not recognize me. Even when he saw that the body had the same scars as I did, he did not care. Later on, my mother dug out my heart and showed it to her students. "Today, we will study the heart of someone with congenital heart disease." She once said she would recognize me no matter what I looked like. Mom, now that the only thing left of me is my heart, do you still recognize me?

I was a streamer famous for doing random, unhinged stuff online. And now the richest woman in Bayford wanted me to seduce her son. "Make my son fall for you. I'll give you ten properties. Houses, apartments, condos." For a second, even I thought, 'Okay, this is insane.' Marianne Jensen looked at me like I was her last hope. "Please. I'm out of options. Ever since he was little, I kept pretty girls around him. When he got older, I introduced him to every type of girl possible. But he's thirty now and has never dated anyone." Then she lowered her voice. "I think something's wrong with him. Like those billionaire guys in drama shorts. Maybe he only likes weird girls from the bad side of town." I just stared at her. Wow. Appreciate that. 'Did I just meet a crazy person?' I was about to say no when she shoved ten property deeds and a photo across the table. "Go seduce my son. If you pull it off, the ten properties are yours." I looked at the deeds, then the photo, and instantly decided to help this desperate but incredible mother. Forget something being wrong with him. Even if he liked men, I'd still make him fall for me. Thanks to Marianne pulling strings behind the scenes, I became the personal assistant to Jace Jensen, Bayford's golden boy. And the first thing he said when he saw me was, "How much did my mom pay you? I'll double it. Now get out." Two months later, the job was over, but Jace stood there with red eyes, crying. "How could you use me and throw me away? I don't care. You're taking responsibility for this."

I was prepping the ceremonial cloak for our seventh mating anniversary. The front door suddenly banged open. My son rushed inside, tears streaming down his face. "The teacher yelled at me," he sobbed. He shoved the wrinkled drawing into my hands before burying his face in my shirt. I smoothed out the paper to see what the drama was about. It was a sketch of a faceless woman titled: The Substitute Mom. My heart stopped as I read the scribbles underneath. "Daddy said she is the backup." "She does the chores but gets no wages." "The Real Mom is responsible for being beautiful and guarding the treasury." My fingertips turned ice-cold against the paper. My mate, Ethan, had just returned from a patrol. He kissed my forehead. "What did our pup draw?" The next second, his smile froze when he saw the content. His voice tightened, and he reached out to snatch the book. "He watches too many cartoons! He's writing nonsense!" I stared at the man I had shared a den with for seven years. He looked like a stranger now. If I was the substitute. Who was this beautiful real mother? And where had my true son been all these years?

19-year-old Ethan moves in with his best friend for the summer, only to fall for the one woman he should never want: his best friend’s mom. She’s beautiful, mysterious, and completely off-limits. But the more he tries to stay away, the closer she pulls him in. One look was all it took. Now, there’s no turning back.

My mother threatens to jump off a building in front of me three times. The first time is when I fill out my college application. She stands on the rooftop and forces me to choose a local college. I give in, and with a 1550 SAT score, I end up attending a second-tier local college. The second time is after I graduate and go to Brayton for work. She stands on top of my company building and forces me to quit. I return to my hometown and take a gas station job she finds for me, earning 7.50 dollars per hour. The third time, she stands on a rooftop again and forces me to marry a man I have only met once but whom she is very satisfied with. I obey and marry him, only to suffer domestic violence and miscarry. In the end, I can no longer take it and jump off a building myself. When I open my eyes again, my mother is gritting her teeth as she climbs onto the rooftop. "If you dare apply to a Privy League college out of town, I will jump from here!" I give her one glance before turning around and walking away. "Go ahead. Don't waste my time."

Just when everything was going as planned Joanne was feeling the stress of her wedding and scheduled a doctor's appointment. A couple days later she gets a call that stops her plans in their tracks. "Ms. Hart, you're pregnant." Will all her best days ever come crashing to an end?

I’d been married to my husband James for three years. On Valentine’s Day, he gave his stepsister, Mia, one hundred and eighty thousand dollars, along with millions in jewelry. I, on the other hand, received a free bouquet of roses. When I didn’t look thrilled, he accused me of being a gold digger. “Mia never had anyone to care for her growing up. Why are you competing with her? Isn’t being Mrs. Smith enough to feed your vanity?” Furious, I stormed out of the house. When a car lost control and came barreling toward me, he instinctively rushed to protect Mia, who was standing a full ten feet from the road. I was the one who ended up in the hospital. Lying in that bed, I finally gave up. I signed the divorce papers without hesitation. “Giving up the title of Mrs. Smith is the dumbest decision you’ll ever make,” he told me, looking down at me from above before walking away. Seven years later, we met again. He took one glance at my simple dress and laughed out loud. I didn’t bother to respond. I just held my daughter close and waited for her father—the richest man in the city—to arrive.

What happens when you get married to a Criminal? Your best friend was a victim of his action. You wanted to call off the wedding but you're hopeless. In other to save your parent's reputation, you had to get married to a Monster. But, for how long would this be?

''Sometimes I sit alone in my room, not because I'm lonely but because I want to. I quite like it but too bad sitting by myself always leads to terrifying, self-destructive thoughts. When I'm about to do something, he calls. He is like my own personal superhero and he doesn't even know it. Now my superhero never calls and there is no one to help me, maybe I should get a new hero. What do you think?'' ''Why don't you be your own hero?'' I didn't want to be my own hero I just wanted my best friend, too bad that's all he'll ever be to me- a friend. Trigger Warning so read at your own risk.