Best Your Mom Jokes

Hindi akalain ni Mutya na magagawa nga talaga nyang pikutin ang among si Drake ngunit ngayon ay bigla na lang nabahag ang kanyang buntot at ayaw na niyang ituloy ang binabalak. Kailangan niyang makaalis ng kwarto bago pa magising si Drake. Dahan dahan niyang pinihit ang seradura ng pinto upang hindi sya makagawa ng ingay. Laking gulat na lamang nya dahil hindi pa man nya tuluyang nabubuksan ang pintuan ay may tumulak na nito mula sa labas kasunod ang maraming kislap at tunog ng camera. “Miss ikaw ba ang bagong girlfriend ni Drake Rufino?” “Nasa loob ba sya?” “Gano na kayo katagal?” Sunod sunod na katungan ng mga reporters. Sa takot ay napaurong sya. Hindi nya alam ang gagawin. Napatigil ang dalaga sa pag-urong nang bumangga sya sa matitipunong dibdib mula sa lalaking nakatayo sa kanyang likuran. Gising na si Drake. “Whats going on here?” halata sa mukha ng lalaki na bagong gising pa ito. Nakapulupot sa hubo't hubad nitong katawan ang puting kumot....

After my husband died in a car accident, I worked tirelessly running a small restaurant to raise my son, Henry. Right before Henry's wedding, I won eight million in the lottery. Thrilled, I decided to sell the restaurant and finally enjoy retirement. So, I called to tell Henry about selling the restaurant, his usually polite fiancée turned hostile. "You're not expecting us to support you, are you? We've barely started working!" She even warned Henry, "If you spend any of our money on your mom, the wedding's off!" Henry argued with her but then reassured me, promising, "You've worked hard enough, Mom. I'll take care of you." Feeling pretty good, I planned to give him two million to start a business. The next day, I got a call saying Henry had been in a serious car accident and urgently needed fifty thousand for surgery. I sent the money immediately, but afterward, Henry vanished. Desperate, I braved a storm to find him in his city, only to walk into a wedding at some fancy hotel. There's Henry, giving a toast and calling another woman "Mom." And, oh, sitting beside her? My "dead" husband from ten years ago.

When my parents got old, they needed someone to take care of them. Katerina—my younger sister—was off to Amiraka with her smug husband Chris. Meanwhile, I was crammed into a two-bedroom in Bellavaro with my husband Pavel, who drove a taxi. Mom had no retirement savings, so guess who she dumped herself on? Yep—me. Dad took the cash and ran straight to Katerina. Our place was tiny, but we still gave Mom the master bedroom. She hated it. Constant complaints, constant drama. According to her, life with me was pure misery. Every night, she'd hop on video call with Katerina, gushing about Amiraka like it was heaven, while throwing shade at me for not "taking care of her properly." Meanwhile, I was drowning—trying to hold it together for Mom, help my daughter prep for exams, support a husband with spine problems, and check in on aging in-laws. Mom didn't care. She wanted a plane ticket to Amiraka to party for Katerina's birthday. I snapped. We had a blowout fight, and she collapsed—brain hemorrhage. Even in her hospital bed, she stared me down, whining Katerina's name like a broken record. Then she spat out, "I should've never picked a useless daughter like you!" My chest cracked in half. I blacked out. When I woke up—I was ten years younger. Back to the day they decided who'd get stuck taking care of them. This time, Mom didn't wait. "I want Katerina to take care of me. It's my turn to enjoy life!"

This Book is Classified into Two Books under the same title. Book One has 60 Chapters. Whiles Book Two is the continuation and the love story of the Book One main characters' children. A one-night stand with a stranger brought Ashley to her downfall. Being betrayed by her step-sister and her boyfriend on her birthday, Ashley took on an impulsive action to sleep with a stranger. Which unfortunately got her pregnant. To add to her sorrow, her step-sister and her 5 years boyfriend were getting engaged. Thrown out from her home by her father and stepmother, Ashley thought she would struggle to carter for her baby. Until she met a man who took her under his wings and protected her. But the man always wears a mask in other for Ashley not to recognize who he is. Not having anywhere to go. Families and friends turned their back on her. Life was hard for Ashley. But she was still determined to move forward with the unknown man. Ashley was overwhelmed by the unknown person's care toward her. Without having any idea, the unknown person is no other person than David Westwood. The CEO of DWC, the multi-billionaire, and the same person who got her pregnant. What will Ashley do with her triplets? What will Ashley do when she finds the man who got her pregnant? Will Ashley forgive him and forget her past? Will there ever be love between them? Read more to find out!!

I perceived something exceedingly familiar. That was the scent of the alpha. He is somewhere close by. I can't let him see me in this situation with Stark. Of all the times that the alpha could be present, it just had to be when I'm in bed with Stark. I was just about to get the truth out of Stark about his identity but my obsessed alpha won't understand what is going on here. Want to know what happens in this book? You'll have to open up the book. I guarantee you will love it.

Karena sebuah kecelakaan dan kesalahpahaman antara seorang wanita bernama Zara, dengan seorang pemuda tampan bernama Zeo, Zara terpaksa harus menanggung benih Zeo di dalam rahimnya. Zeo berpikir kalau ini adalah rencana dan jebakan yang dibuat Zara, untuk merebut hatinya. Sampai hal yang tidak diinginkan pun terjadi, sehingga membuat Zara malu dan mengasingkan dirinya sendiri dari hadapan mereka. Zara mengandung dan melahirkan anak dari Zeo. Zara merawat anak Zeo dengan sepenuh hati, karena bagaimanapun juga itu adalah darah dagingnya sendiri. Apakah kehidupannya akan baik-baik saja ke depannya?

Si Liam at Lara, boss and employee in the same company na hindi nila kilala ang isa't-isa. Sa gabi ng kaarawan ni Liam ay binigyan siya ng kanyang mga kaibigan ng makakasama buong gabi ngunit sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, si Lara ang nadala sa kanya dahil lang sa isang pagkakamali. Lara got pregnant broke up by her boyfriend, pinalayas din siya ng pamilyang umampon sa kanya at walang mapuntahan. Liam was shocked nang makitang empleyado niya pala ang babaeng naka-one night stand niya at buntis ito. Hindi niya gustong tumakbo pero natatakot siyang ipagtapat dito kung sino siya.

Twin brothers.Different personalities. Completely identical. Except for a tattoo. One an ex-convict. The other a judge. Watch out for a thrilling drama as secrets and twists play out in this blockbuster story.You can read my interviewand oni, https://tinyurl.com/y62f98am

Just because I ate one chicken leg more than my brother, my father kicked me out of the house in the middle of a snowstorm. Later on, my father of an archeologist dug up my body. Due to my missing head, he did not recognize me. Even when he saw that the body had the same scars as I did, he did not care. Later on, my mother dug out my heart and showed it to her students. "Today, we will study the heart of someone with congenital heart disease." She once said she would recognize me no matter what I looked like. Mom, now that the only thing left of me is my heart, do you still recognize me?

Bahkan dari awal pertemuan pun, keduanya telah memiliki keterkaitan satu sama lain. Setelah beribu usaha yang sudah semesta kerahkan, ini saatnya untuk menyatukan keduanya. Banyak hal yang tidak disadari keduanya, jika memang keduanya pantas untuk disandingkan bersama. Terlalu sering terjadinya pertikaian karena kesalahpahaman antara keduanya, tak membuat semesta berhenti untuk menyatukan mereka. Inilah cerita Raditya dan Adinda yang menjadi hasil tangan indah sang semesta.