Best Your Mom Jokes Novels & Stories

He told her about a boy who fell asleep in class. She told him about a cat that used to steal her pencils. They laughed together. Then Allen said casually: “One of my friends said that mom’s cooking is the best, but I argued that dad’s cooking is the best. Which do you think is the best?” Sasha laughed softly. “Don’t you like your mom’s cooking? My mom makes the best food. I even miss her meals sometimes.” Allen shook his head. “Well, my mom doesn’t cook for me. She doesn’t like me.”

And I absolutely never would’ve even considered it if it wasn’t for her sake. Everything I did was always, always for her sake. So she would be happy. And yeah, this fucking sucked, but what the hell else was I supposed to do when— “Ha ha ha ha ha. That’s hilarious! Where did you learn that joke?” I stopped right in my tracks at the sound of that, frowning at the weird-ass sound of someone laughing—my mom's laugh, drifting from somewhere down the hallway. What the hell could she possibly have to be laughing about? Yesterday she'd been halfway to tears, and now she sounded like she was at a party.

Aunt Barbara's breath caught in her throat, and her expression instantly darkened. Mom yanked me by the arm and snapped, "What did you just say? What nonsense are you spouting? When did I ever say Barbara was a mooch?" She turned to Aunt Barbara with an awkward, sheepish look and tried to explain, "Barbara, don't listen to her. I've never said anything like that in my life." I looked at Mom with the straightest face and said, "Mom, didn't you say you never lie? The last time Aunt Barbara came over, she took the beef stew you'd stashed in the fridge.

"what? Why are you surprised? I am not deaf and dumb you know." My shocked face quickly turned to a happy one. Mom was known for her act of pretense. She was a joker in the house and always made a joke out of us all. Her voice was usually firm, as it was right now. Perhaps she had been pretending to the people who kept her.

She waved her hand lightly, the diamonds on her fingers catching the light. “Oh, heavens, don’t look so grim. It was nothing,” she said. “It’s an old joke, that’s all. You know how people say boys can be too much like being wild and dramatic, and how it is exhausting to be a boy mom. So the joke is about how a mother knows she needs so much help to raise them. It’s just something the older generation repeats. Nothing serious.” Her gaze shifted amongst the crowd. “Don’t tell me you don’t know it.”

She was smiling and laughing more… with Dad! In the last video, Mom sat up her own, unaided on the bed. And with a big grin on her face, she smiled radiantly at Dad as she thanked him for bringing her her best dessert…jello. Then looking into the camera, she smilingly said, “Look at me, conquering spoons, my darlings! Your Momma is surely the queen of comebacks!” she winked. The time stamp of the video read 1:07 pm.

This was our routine, where mom would cook and clean on Saturdays to Monday and I would cook on the rest of the days. "Not as good as your rice." My mom said through bites and I let out a laugh before grabbing the remote and putting on 'Big Bang Theory' because she loved the show. I would love to watch Rick and Morty, but knew my mom would find that inappropriate. So, instead we watched this and I smiled as my mum laughed loudly at the jokes. "So anything new?" My mom asked, glancing between me and the screen to which I shrugged heavily. The thought of Aaron's deal on Friday came to mind, but I couldn't discuss that, knowing my mom would irrevocably disapprove of it.

"Alice! You rotten little cheat!" I was walking toward them, for a better look, when Mom threw the top back to her from a few feet away. "You know you love it, Em," Mom laughed. "It's not like you've ever missed an opportunity to show 'em off. Can't say I might not do the same if I had puppies like those."

I said. My dad also nodded his head , “yeah. Madalynne.. just call us mum and dad already. Thank you for tolerating with Joseph. You are really the toughest one!” My dad joke. As I laughed, “Dad! I do not think that I was that bad? Am I?” I replied jokingly too. My dad nodded his head so quick, “you are the worst!” He said then he laughed out loud. “Woah , what am I missing here?” Emily chipped in as she walked hand in hand with Aaron.

"Thank you, momma, you're the best!" "Oh mom, dad do you want to hear something weird?" "No we don't want to know if Nathan was actually her brother or not." comes dads voice with a look that tells me he's happy for me to leave the room right now, Me and my mom both roar with laughter at his comment and the face he's making.