Bisaya Funny Quotes About Self

"You look tired and lazy. I think you're suffering from lack of vitamin me?" ~X~ Three words are enough to describe the playboy billionaire Alexis 'X' Montemayor who owns the very successful Club inside and outside the country. Hot. Dangerous. And oozing with sex appeal. He believed that he would never find the right woman for him despite having a random geisha in his very own Club-V. Not until a woman named Minzireth Paje entered his room and asked him if she is hired or not in the middle of what he called 'play time'. Lured by her sexy smile; piercing golden brown eyes; and voluptuous body, he hired her as his sex-retary. ***** Minzireth Paje is not your typical woman. Nagtungo sa siyudad upang maghanap ng trabahong makapag-aahon sa kanila sa kahirapan at matustusan ang gamutan ng kanyang magulang na may sakit. Ngunit nagbago ang lahat ng matanggap siya bilang sekretarya ng nagmamay-ari ng isa sa pinakasikat na Club sa Pilipinas. Buong akala niya'y more on paper works; answering calls; at tamang tayo lang sa gilid ng conference room ang kanyang gagawin. Not until her playboy boss, Alexis Montemayor demands her to do her assigned job. And that was to spice his night as his sex-retary. What if she found out what was her playboy boss's dark secret? Would she be able to fulfill her duty? Or resigned, and accept the fact that she is not qualified enough to be one of his sex-retary?

- Tagalog Novel - Hindi anak ni Hannah si Elisha, pero higit pa sa sariling dugo't laman na itinuring niya itong pamilya nang abandunahin ito ng tunay nitong mga magulang. Apat na taon na tumayo siyang ama at ina nang sabay sa bata. Until Elisha's biological parents suddenly reappeared in their lives. At bago pa mapagtanto ni Hannah ang nangyayari, binabawi na ng ama nito ang bata mula sa kanya. Pero gano'n na lang ba iyon? Matapos ang lahat ay tila siya pa ang masama? Up to what lengths could a mother go to keep her child? Kahit na hindi si Hannah ang nagsilang kay Elisha, gagawin pa rin niya ang lahat para ipaglaban ito.  Even if it would mean going against the dangerous Billionaire, Nate Sarmiento in the process. Kahit pa mukhang wala siyang karapatan, Hannah still raised his child and that’s an irreversible fact. But would Hannah survive the harsh treatment before she could even see Elisha again? If she would, what about from Nate’s charms? Could her inexperienced heart handle the danger of falling in love with a man who loves someone else?

Because of her cheating boyfriend, naglasing si Desire sa night club kasama ang mga kaibigan. She wanted to forget everything about her ex at alam niyang alak lang solusyon doon. Pero sa di inaasahan, isang guwapong estranghero ang nakipagsayaw sa kanya. His image in her head was blurred but she was very sure he's hot and handsome. Kaya ang simpleng pagsasayaw ay nauwi sa mainit na halikan. Only to know later on that the stranger she passionately kissed that night is her newly hired tutor!

Rated 18 Read at your own risk Walang ibang nais si Monica kundi ang makaahon sa hirap at buhayin ang kaniyang isang anak na lalaki, na bunga ng one-night stand sa isang estranghero. Kahit anong trabaho pinapasok niya maging ito ay kapit sa patalim. Pinatos niya ang trabaho bilang ispiya ng mafia organization. Subalit sinubok ang kaniyang prinsipyo nang makilala si Federico Sartorre, ang mafia boss na unang target na ibinigay ng kaniyang amo. Si Federico ay isa sa miyembro ng pinakamalaking mafia organization, ang Cosa El Gamma. Bukod sa pamilyar ito sa kaniya at hawig ng kaniyang anak, nakitaan niya ito ng tattoo na katulad sa lalaking nakaniig niya noon sa isang bar sa Japan. Habang nasa puder siya ni Federico bilang maid, hindi lamang trabaho ang kaniyang pakay, kundi ang tuklasin ang misteryo sa pagkatao nito. Ngunit mabilis nahulog ang puso niya sa binata at nag-assume na ito ang ama ng kaniyang anak. Paano kung si Federico nga ang tatay ng kaniyang anak? Susuwayin ba niya ang misyon at piliin ang sigaw ng puso?

Claire met Sebastian on her wedding day. He is the older brother of her husband-to-be. Fate took its time to play with her when she felt a very huge attraction to the man on the very same day she was bound to be someone else’s wife. From the intense look he gives her to the way his lips curved up into a smirk, she can’t help but feel foreign sensations running down her body. Sensations she’s not allowed to feel for someone who’s going to be a family soon. Sebastian knew he needs saving when he felt a very strong urge to pull the bride and lean her on the altar and take her there senselessly. With her strawberry blonde hair curled to the side of her shoulder exposing her delicately creamy-white skin, thoughts of running his tongue there invaded his mind. Damn him to hell for thinking thoughts like that to the woman his brother was about to marry. But the heavens must be in his favor when things around weren’t what he expected it to be. This time he was determined to steal her from his brother, and no one can stop him. Not even fate.

Astrid Is a hard headed woman, she is the black sheep of the family, to punish her, Astrid's family decided that they will sent her to the city. In order to get her inheritance  she needed to work in the city to become independent. One Night, a disaster happened between Astrid and the billionaire, They share a passionate kiss and embrace each other arms.  A destiny make a way to cross their path again, when she arrives at her working place she become frustrated when she saw the guy. Astrid try her best not to be distracted with her boss because she don't want to disappoint her family again, She try harder to find a way and manifested that Apollo won't recognized her. Apollo is eager to find that mysterious girl who have a one night stand with him. All he got is the key chain of the girl. Astrid Started to worry when she got more closer to her boss , she don't want him to know the truth and she try to keep the secret, Because of the sudden closeness Astrid started falling to her boss she can't help it she try to stay away from him but cupid's arrow struck her heart already. Astrid is inlove with Apollo but when she realized about everything she left and keep the heir of the billionaire, she don't want to do it but she need to, in order to protect her heart and stop begging for attention and love. Apollo Realized that the girl he hurt for almost a month is the girl he wanted all those years, he instantly regret everything he did and use his power to find his love.  Apollo Win her back again and promise to her that he will do everything just to make Astrid happy.

WARNING: R-18 l MATURE CONTENT l SPG l VERY SEXUAL l READ RESPONSIBLY It's funny how someone breaks your heart but you still love them with all you have... Bullied and criticized for being plus size girl, but who cares? Food is life. Myra Gwy Valderamos is the unbothered queen. The only thing that matter to her is food. Loved and treasured by her parents. Supported in all her dreams. Calyx Zachary Villegas stuck in the past and the mystery behind it. Broken at a very young age when both parents died in an accident. They met, fell in love and planned a future together but a buried memory of the past resurfaced. He left her shattered and broken into pieces. How far you would you go for your love? Is his love enough to have her back?

Shantal she's simple beautiful and innocent, namumuhay siyang masaya sa hacienda de monteverde at isa mga magulang niya ang kasalukoyan nag tatatrabaho sa loob ng malawak na hacienda ng mga monteverte at kilalang mayaman hindi lang dito sa pilipinas maging sa ibat ibang bansa at dito narin sila nanirahan simula ng mapadpad sila sa lugar at masasabi niyang masaya at maayos naman ang pamumuhay nila dito kasama ang mga magulang at mga kapatid niya. Sa idad niyang 18 never pa siya pumasok sa isang relasyos kasi gusto muna niya makapag tapos sa course niyang architecture kaya wala siyang time sa ibang bagay lalo na about sa lovelife o sexual b*b* siya pag dating sa bagay na yun kaya tinatawag siyang shantal the innocent. Pero pano kung isang araw dumating sa mundo niyang tahimik ang isang happy go lucky arogante pilyo bastos mata pobreng at higit sa lahat walang galang na c prince ace monteverde kaya niya kayang patutungohan ang binata at turuan ng tamang asal o mag papadala siya sa bugso ng damdamin at mauwi sa walang humpay na kaligayahan na silang dalawa lang ang nakakaalam kahit wala silang level ng binata, at tuloyan ng mag laho ang shantal na inosente. Si prince ace 25 years old happy go lucky walang derection ang buhay niya gasto dito gasto doon babae dito babae doon at ayaw din imanage ang sandamakmak na business ng mga magulang kaya sa inis at galit ng mga ito tinapon siya sa hacienda de monteverde ng matoto siya sa buhay hindi yung mag lustay lang ng kayaman nila. Ano kaya ang nag hihintay na kapalaran kay ace sa hacienda matatagpuan niya kaya dito ang ang magpapabago sa boa niyang pag katao at pananaw sa buhay..?

"Stop staring at me like that," nakatiim ang bagang na sabi ni Jass. "Hindi ako interesado sa 'yo at alam kong pati ikaw ay ayaw rin sa kasal na ito. So why don't we make an agreement about this fucking arranged marriage?" "No sharing of bedroom, no sex, no conversation at higit sa lahat walang pakialamanan sa isa't isa. We'll only pretend like we're sweet in front of our parents kapag nandiyan sila. Pero 'pag tayong dalawa lang, parang hindi natin kilala ang isa't isa. What about that? Hmm?" Tumango ako. "T-That's a good idea." But one time, nakita niya akong may kausap sa phone. Bakit bigla siyang nagalit sa akin?

TRENDING: Ang panget na si Yolly Peralta, nabuntis ng Campus Heartthrob na si Andy Pagdatu! Miserable ang buhay ni Yolly sa Sanchi College dahil laging tampulan ng tukso ang kanyang kapangitan. Pero dahil sa isang selfie, napalapit siya sa campus heartthrob na si Andy Pagdatu at naging kaibigan pa ito. Naging close pa sila sa close. Pero paano kung isang gabing ay malasing sila? Tapos magbubunga ang isang gabing karupukan ng dalawang linya sa pregnancy test kit at si Andy raw ang ama? Matatanggap kaya ni Andy na nakabuntis siya ng pangit? At ang tanong, totoo nga kaya na buntis si Yolly?