Dad Joke Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

Kids these days! Simone was talking to Eva about some upcoming dance and I was chatting with them too until my fake boyfriend decided to text me and his cheesy pick-up lines instantly became much more exciting than the discussion of when and where to go shopping. Blackmailer- 'And lemme guess, now you feel awesome? Super amazing? Dance-all-through- the-night great?' I bit my lip, fighting a huge smile from spreading on my lips. 'No, I feel neutral. You aren't anything special.'

She giggled and shook her head before placing a kiss to my lips. “Good because my cock quite likes you too. He’s very cocky about that very excellent blowjob you gave him. He dreamed about your mouth for years,” I said, waggling my eyebrows. Camden snorted from the doorway as he looked at me. “Please tell me that you’re not one of those pun guys.” “I like his crappy puns.” Jadelynn stuck her tongue out at him. I smirked at him and nodded to her. I knew they were crappy, but she did like them. That was why I kept making them. They were not for my own benefit at all.

I sigh sadly. "I feel like a library card since I've been totally checking you out!" He exclaims, again. "Did you notice that I'm like a best seller? Currently unavailable." I raise my eyebrow. "If you were a McDonald's burger, you'd be the McGorgeous." Lame Alert! "Thanks, Ronald, but I've already talked to enough clowns tonight." I scoff. "Excuse me, does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?" "Not as much as that pick-up line smells like desperation." I laugh so loud after this.

I read my message again. Me: ‘Thoughts of cuddling, Hand holding, Eye contact… That kind of disgusting stuff.’ Yup! It does sound like a joke. I give it a long thought and type my message away. 42. Butterflies - Natalie - . I get butterflies in my stomach as I read his messages. Jacob: ‘Sorry about that lame joke last night. Not sure why my drunk genius brain thought it was a good idea.’ Jacob: ‘I am such a jerk, didn’t even ask you if it would be alright if I pick you up from Ira’s place at noon.

I noticed his lips were moving before his words registered. Thankfully, that snapped me out of my shameless leering of him. “Here’s your drink,” the bartender said. I snatched up the glass and took an obnoxious long suck. Then slammed it back down that the glass almost broke. “Oh I’m sorry, dad. Pardon me for wanting a nice glass of juice after I just found my fiancé cheating on me. With his stepbrother! But oh, I’m so sorry that my choice in beverages annoys you! Accept my deepest apologies. Happy now?!”

“Let me get this straight, you’re basically dating your stepsister.” “No.” JD grinned as he shook his head. “Basically, I’m going to marry my stepsister.” Shifting, he opened the door. “This place has an awesome patty melt.” “What the hell is up with you dropping bombs like this and then be all about the damn food?” the other man asked as he also got out of the pickup and followed JD inside. JD was laughing at his friend as they went through the door. A cute little blonde with legs for days and a rack that was making Cooper drool, smiled at them.

“What about this? I will try not to sneak into your room at night and suffocate you with your own stinking socks?” I sneered at him, clenching my fists. Leaning his head back, he busted out laughing, and I began to think he was missing some vital component in that empty head of his. Or is his mind just drifting? “Oh, I don’t know. I think that sounds interesting; I'd like you to try that!” My jaw almost hit the floor, and the burn in my cheeks spread like wildfire when I caught up. Quickly, I shut my mouth and glared at him. What the hell is wrong with this guy? Cheesy pick-up lines? Now? He definitely needs new antennas!

It wasn't just me who heard what Hubert Lock said. His parents heard them too. Laidman Lock immediately raised a hand and smacked Hubert lightly on the arm, irritation creeping into his voice. "What kind of nonsense are you talking about? Who jokes with their wife like that?" Michelle Lock quickly patted the back of my hand and comforted me softly. "Crystal, don't take it to heart. It's April Fools' Day, isn't it? Hubert was just being thoughtless and making a joke."

What is his deal anyway? "I would use a cheesy pick-up line but damn baby I'm vegan," Kai said after a few minutes of thinking over it. I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face as I desperately willed myself not to laugh because then he would be sad. "Real smooth mate, total game changer right there," Jake said with amusement lacing his chocolate brown eyes. Kai seemed content with what he said and grinned from ear-to-ear like a Cheshire cat. "Yep I'm good, ain't I?"

i feel stupid making such a dum joke, guys just trying to be nice and i threaten him with marriage maybe my voice didnt portray it as a joke the way i intended. "yeh your probably right, listen dont go anywhere gimme a minute ill call you back". click the phone goes dead. i sat there staring at my phone. maybe he had a friend or a friend of a friend, im confused, i save his contact to my phone and wait. 6 minutes later his name lights up my phone. i answer "hey"