Dad Joke Pick Up Lines

As soon as my husband sat at the dining table, he couldn't stop himself from talking. The humiliations of my school days had become his favorite entertainment, served up to his drinking buddies like appetizers. "Back then, she got her clothes torn off in the bathroom, beaten so badly she crawled on the ground like a dog, too terrified to make a sound. If it weren’t for my kindness—" That was it. I couldn’t take it anymore. I told him I wanted a divorce. He laughed it off, utterly unbothered. "Seriously? It’s just a joke! That was ages ago. You’re way too uptight—it’s just for a laugh, right?" For a laugh? Was I the only one with a past? Did he think he was untouchable? Maybe I should tell a few embarrassing stories about his precious childhood sweetheart. Fine. If it’s all about “fun,” I hoped his sweetheart found it equally hilarious when her turn came.

Ito ay isang perpektong plano. Hanggang sa ang pekeng narararamdaman niya ay nagsisimula ng maging totoo... The last thing on Tyler's mind is romance. Sa pagitan ng pagiging isang solong ama at pamamahala sa kanyang matagumpay na karera sa pagsusulat, mayroon siyang higit sa sapat sa kanyang plano. Ngunit nang magpasya ang kanyang ex na labanan siya para sa kustodiya ng kanilang anak, alam niyang kailangan niyang ipakita sa hukom na siya ay isang solidong tao sa pamilya. Ang kakailanganin niya ay isang pekeng kasintahan, Ngunit hindi niya alam kung saan siya makakahanap ng isang babaeng handang magpanggap bilang kanyang asawa sa lalong madaling panahon. Ang pagkumbinsi sa kanya na tumulong ay hindi isang problema. Hindi na niya pinapansin kung paano niya papakinggang ang napakabilis na tibok ng puso niya para rito. Ngayon ito na ay isang problema. Ang gusto lang ni Ellie Diaz ay isang trabaho sa pagtuturo sa prestihiyosong paaralan ng Lincoln Academy, ngunit ang pagkuha sa kanila na isaalang-alang ang kanyang aplikasyon ay isang hamon. Ang magtrabaho dito bilang isang guro ay matagal niya ng minimithi. Pagkatapos ay nalaman niyang may mga koneksyon si Tyler doon—at handa siyang gamitin ang mga ito kapalit ng isang maliit na maliit na pabor. Ang kailangan lang niyang gawin ay mula sa pagiging yaya ng kanyang anak hanggang sa pekeng kasintahan ni Tyler ...at kahit papaano ay magpanggap na hindi siya naaakit sa kanya. Kung magiging maayos ang lahat, mapapatunayan ni Tyler sa hukom na magdedesisyon sa kaso ng kustodiya ng kanyang anak na siya ay isang solidong tao sa isang pamilya, at makukuha naman ni Ellie ang kaniyang tiket sa pangarap niyang trabaho. Ano ang posibleng maging mali? Ano ang gagawin mo kapag ang linya sa pagitan ng reyalidad at pantasya ay lumabo?

Warning!!! This book contains lots of steamy and sensual content's!! Be warned guys!! ** Becky's dad had just died during the war front, and the news of her father's death broke her so hard, but what broke her more was that after seven months of her father's death,her mom has fallen in love with another man and seems happy with him. Little does she know that she would fall in love with her mom's lover, her step dad and may break her mom's heart, who knows? Dive in to uncover deceit, backstabbing, anger and hatred at its peak!!

Di hari ulang tahunnya Clarisa Shen dibuat mabuk. Kakak perempuannya menggantikan dia masuk ke kamar tunangannya, dan tidur bersama, sedangkan dia ada dikamar sebelah bersama dengan lelaki yang tidak dikenal. 10 tahun kemudian Clarisa shen kembali, bersama dengan dua orang anak lelaki yang sangat tampan. Tak disangka saat mereka kembali, mereka bertemu dengan seorang pria yang sangat mirip dengan kedua putranya, dan siapa sangka pria itu adalah ayah kandung dari kedua putranya yang mana pria itu adalah seorang bos besar. Seorang penguasa yang tak dapat tersentuh oleh siapapun. Disaat kebahagiaan mulai menghampiri keluarga kecilnya, Clarisa Shen harus menelan kepahitan, putra sulungnya yaitu, Conan Shen di vonis menderita Kanker Otak.Akankah putra sulung Clarisa Shen sembuh dari penyakitnya?

Raïssa N'Guessan a 16 ans lorsqu'elle obtint son baccalauréat et accéda au plus grand institut de Côte d'Ivoire au grand plaisir de son père mais cette joie laissera vite place au désespoir lorsqu'aux premiers jours de sa scolarité elle se découvrira enceinte, ce qui était surprenant puisqu'elle savait n'avoir jamais eu de rapport sexuel, de plus ses nuits étaient perturbées par des rêves érotiques d'un déconcertant réalisme. Elle va s'accrocher à tous les indices susceptibles de l'aider à découvrir la vérité sur son état. En attendant, elle devra apprendre à vivre avec cette grossesse, cet enfant… Comment faire face aux répercussions d'un choix qu'on n'a pas fait ? Que s'était-il passé ? Qui est le père de son enfant ?

When my boyfriend came to my family home to ask for my hand in marriage, my sister-in-law, who was usually cold and aloof, became a completely different person. She flung her arm around me warmly and asked, “Cassie, who’s your favorite? This boyfriend or one of the dozen or so men that you’ve brought home before?” As I denied her accusation and interrupted her, she cheekily batted her eyelashes at my boyfriend and cooed, “Oh, yes, yes. Cassie has never brought another man home. You’re the lucky first!” In the midst of dinner, she deliberately took her own soiled underwear out of the bathroom, pinched her nose, and waved it around as she screeched, “Oh my goodness, Cassie! I know you don’t really care about hygiene, but we have guests today! How can you have no shame? It smells so bad!”

The dream of everyone with regard to marriage is to be able to find that special someone and settle down with them. Even arranged marriages grant you an opportunity to meet your partner briefly before the wedding. How will you feel about waking up in the morning with someone sleeping next to you who is not just anyone but your legally married partner yet with no memory of how that had happened in just a few hours of going out the previous day? This is the story of Jason Haward and Julia Harrison, two complete strangers trapped in a marriage they never planned. The quest to find out why led to the unfolding of a mystery which made them realize they are both living a lie. To find out more, read this amazing story of love, betrayal, revenge and murder.

No woman wants to get pregnant by accident even though a child is wonderful to have. Even in cases of accidental pregnancy, the woman is aware of when she was intimate with a man. The story can not be told differently when it comes to artificial insemination. Now what would you do if you just woke up to find yourself in a strange home and three months pregnant when all you remember is celebrating getting your long-awaited scholarship to go study and become the dietician you always wanted to be? Well, Ana woke up to find herself in such a situation and also miles away from home with no means to return. Who are these people, how is she pregnant without being intimate with any man and who is the father? Let's read this amazing story of Ana in Woke Up Pregnant.

Missy moves to a small town in Northern California after walking in on her boyfriend in bed with someone else. The picturesque cottage she bought outright isn’t as picturesque as she was promised. She is forced to hire the only contractor in town to make it liveable, even though she can’t stand the man and his rude and crude remarks. Adrian Brewer is a single father, fighting for his parental rights for his daughter, and doesn’t need another woman to bring more drama into his life….but there is just something about Missy that makes him tease her like a little boy with a crush and has him wishing for more. When Adrian makes repairs to her new home, can he also help repair her heart? Can she repair his in return? When their past comes back to ruin what they started building together, will the foundation of their budding love be able to withstand the storm? Will Missy let it all burn down? If it does, can Adrian build it back up?

"You are going to come again, but not until I say so..." he whispered sexily while licking my ear. Amanda was addicted to coffee, she treated her coffee far better than she treated her men. She liked to change partners faster than she restocked her milk and creamer in her fridge. She never get attached to her man, she was very adventurous and even liked to share her men with her girls. That was until all of her best friends found their men and she was left to play alone. Dale had been a single dad since his wife passed away delivering their daughter Mable into the world. Since then he hadn't found the one person who can even come close to his beloved wife. He dated women on occasions but finds them all bland, shallow, and not even the least intriguing for him. He was dedicating his life to Mable and his coffee shop. That had been enough for him. Until one day Amanda walked into his coffee shop and literally knocked him off his feet. Since then, she has been on his mind constantly, she was truly his opposite. The wild child versus the calm and settled single dad. Will the opposite attract? will they find the middle ground? will his daughter approve of his new relationship?